She wanted to explain. To tell him that it wouldn’t be the same here without him, so the thought of owning the museum, whilst it would still be wonderful, wouldn’t have quite the same sparkle. She wanted to say that he’d got things wrong before, that she did have feelings but that she’d been trying to hide them or ignore them until they went away. After all, this could be no more than a brief holiday romance, and surely people in their thirties just didn’t do that kind of thing… did they? But instead she remained silent, watching him watching her.
For a few moments more, they sat there, eyes locked on each other, his thumb grazing her cheek. She parted her lips and waited… Would he kiss her? Would she let him? But all too soon, he removed his hand and sat up straight.
He swallowed hard. ‘Maybe I should go home, get into some dry clothes.’
And, just like that, again the spell was broken.
35
Juliette felt the chance slipping away from her. ‘Look, Reid, I’m not in a rush to kick you out. I can hang your clothes in the airing cupboard. They won’t dry completely, but in a couple of hours they’ll be dry enough to put on and walk home in. I’ll even lend you a brolly.’ She smiled at the mental image of him walking through the village with her bright red umbrella complete with little black love hearts.
‘Oh, no, I don’t want to put you out. You were right, I should’ve just phoned, really. It’s silly but… All I wanted to do when they’d gone was talk to you. Oh God, that makes it sound like you’re my bloody counsellor or something. That’s not what I meant though. I just meant—’
She held up a halting hand. ‘Honestly, it’s fine. You can stop explaining now. Why not have that glass of wine? At least wait for the rain to stop.’
He seemed to ponder her words for a few moments and then said, ‘Oh, why the hell not?’
After hanging the damp clothes in the airing cupboard, she returned to the lounge and poured them each another large measure of the ruby red liquid. Reid took a gulp and placed his glass on the coffee table before slumping down on the sofa again.
‘I think you’re being very brave,’ Juliette told him, hoping she didn’t sound trite.
He scrunched his face. ‘Hmm. I don’t feel it. I’ve cried so much lately, I have no clue what people must think of me. I feel like I’ve regressed to become a sulky toddler.’
‘The people who matter know that you’ve been through a horrible time and they’ll totally understand. Anyone who says they wouldn’t have cried is lying. I can assure you. And I’d be more worried if you hadn’t cried.’
He shook his head and clenched his jaw. ‘Just seeing Evin like that. I felt so cruel. Like I was making him go.’
‘Evin knows that’s not true.’
‘I really hope so, Jules. And I hopeshedoesn’t go filling his head with rubbish out of sheer bitterness. I can’t believe I ever loved her. I can’t believe she’s the same person I fell for. You know, it doesn’t matter how beautiful someone is on the outside, if the inside doesn’t match, they may as well be a bloody gargoyle.’
‘Yes, I totally agree with you there.’ She thought back to when she saw Kate standing there in all her glorious perfection: amazing skin, gorgeous figure, a sense of style. Until she got closer and saw the flaws. It was true that beauty only ran skin deep.
‘I close my eyes and all I see is the pain on Evin’s face. How betrayed he must’ve felt. Kate was screaming at me to help her force him into the car. But I wouldn’t. I couldn’t do it.’ His voice wavered and he cleared his throat.
‘And Evin will have known that was becausenoneof this is your doing. That you didn’t want him to leave.’
Reid didn’t respond, instead they sat for a while without speaking and just listened to the radio presenter telling the listeners which tracks had gone up or down the charts. Juliette had lost touch with music until her visit to Glentorrin. But now it was part of her daily routine: radio on, kettle on, breakfast/dinner plated up…
‘How are you feeling about heading back down south?’ Reid asked out of the blue, evidently exhausted from going over his trauma.
A deep sigh left Juliette’s chest as she contemplated her answer. ‘I’m not too sure. Mixed emotions, I suppose. This trip has been so wonderful. I’ve learned a lot about myself and about people in general.’
‘Really? What life lessons has Glentorrin delivered?’ Reid rested his elbow on the back of the sofa and his head on his hand, all his attention focused on her.
‘I think I’ve realised that I’m quite a strong person, after all. I had my doubts before I came. I’d been recovering from depression and dealing with grief and wasn’t sure if I’d cope with going it alone in a new place, even though I desperately wanted to. But now I’ve done it. And I’ve loved it. And I’ve discovered that I love history even more than I thought.’ She laughed. ‘But I’ve learned that people need to be listened to. You can’t judge someone until you’ve really delved into their minds. Walked a mile in their shoes, as the saying goes. You have no clue what someone is going through until you find out for sure.’
He narrowed his eyes. ‘Do you mean me, by any chance?’
She felt her cheeks warming. ‘You’re in there for sure. I mean, at first I thought you were just a grumpy sod with no sense of humour.’
He laughed out loud. ‘And now youdon’tthink that?’
‘Absolutely not.’ She gazed around the cosy room with its oak beam mantel, tapestry curtains and claret walls. ‘I’m genuinely going to miss this place. The cottage, the museum, the music, the friends I’ve made. The dancing. I never imagined I’d enjoy a ceilidh so much. But it’s one of the fondest memories I have. Amongst others.’ She knew what she meant by that but wouldn’t elaborate, so she hoped he didn’t ask.
‘So, what do you make of the local radio station?’ he asked, pointing at the little portable unit where it played to itself on the mantel shelf.
‘I’ve loved it, to be honest. It’s been nice to listen to something completely different to the traffic news about Gloucester. And I love the accents of the presenters.’
