I didn’t get this far by not being careful. I had a feeling that it wouldn’t come to that. At least I hoped it wouldn’t. The fact that there was silence around this whole issue was intriguing and suspicious in a way. I began to realize that there were many things I wasn’t privy to. That could be dangerous for me. But being the man I am, I knew it was time to clear the air.
I lifted my eyes, and I saw Smoke, Brick’s brother, walking through the door. He had bulked up immensely since the last time I saw him. This nigga was built like a tank. I guesshe used all the extra time he wasn’t out hustling to hit the gym. He walked up and sat next to me.
“What up?” he spoke evenly. His disposition, as always, was unreadable. Smoke was the type that could be over the moon happy as hell or pissed off, and you never could tell. He masked himself so well. I never saw the benefit of that until recently. Now I just knew it was something that came with the territory and something that would stick with me for the rest of my life.
“So much shit bruh, you don’t even know,” I replied.
“I got an idea, but I’ll let you tell me.”
He was baiting me and being purposefully cryptic.
“I just wanted to tell you, for you to hear it from me. I didn’t have shit to do with what happened to Brick. But I was there, and I saw who did.”
“The fact that you think you would still be standing if I even had the thought that you did is disrespectful to me. Nigga if I had an inkling that you had any hand in it, you wouldn’t be fucking breathing.” His words were intense and menacing, yet he never once raised his voice. He turned to me and made sure to maintain direct eye contact, which never wavered.
“I got respect for you, but calm down nigga because I’m a man just like you.” I bucked up. I was being man enough to have this conversation with him, and I didn’t give a fuck how long this nigga's been in the game. We both had shit with us, and I wasn’t nobody’s bitch. He cracked a smirk at my words as we sized each other up. I felt like I owed him because of the opportunities he created for me, but that loose lip shit wasn’t going to happen. Our energies were equivalent, and it felt like the space was too small for both of us.
“Nigga I’m laying anybody down about my family. Fuck you mean? You asked me here to what? Clear yo’ conscious? Naw fam I ain’t stupid, what the fuck you want?”
“I was trying to be real enough to settle some shit. Nigga I was trying to let you know that Slash had a target on Brick’s back and he missed, but I saw some chick pop him. Your fucking hostility is misguided nigga, but if you're trying to take it there, I promise you I ain’t scared to go.”
“Being scared isn’t a prerequisite for death,” he spoke calmly, but the threat was lethal enough to keep my eyes on him.
“Well, let the best man win, nigga.” I shot that energy straight back. I worked for this man at one time, and he put me in the game. That was the only reason I allowed him to carry on for this long. I did mean exactly what I said, though. I was ready to take it there if need be. He stood, and that made me rise to my feet as well. His eyes were attentive, as were mine. You don’t pull shit out unless you were prepared to end a life, and I didn’t want to see it go there. I had a feeling he didn’t either, or he wouldn’t have been here.
“Look, I don’t ever need help handling my business. If I had questions for you, I would have saw you about them. I’m not worried about what somebody tried to do to my brother, and I ain’t helping you close no doors on your behalf. I don’t leave shit open-ended, my way, that’s young nigga shit.”
“Slash had a hit out on Brick, that’s the only reason why you here. I damn sure don’t need your fucking help. That nigga dead either way it go, and what you mean tried to do to Brick? What you saying he—"
“You worried about the wrong shit! You need to be worried about that bitch that pinned a baby on you because she is as dirty as they fucking come. Bruh, I seen too much shit, soI don’t let nothing slip past me. Slash didn’t have nothing to do with it. That shit was about you the whole time. I see you got heart, but a word of advice, if you trying to make it out here, you better focus on yo’ own problems and be ready to say fuck everybody's feelings. You sitting up here trying to pour your heart out to a nigga that don’t give a damn about none of that. You need to be on that nigga Kole’s ass instead of sitting here with me. Keep yo’ head on a swivel and when you think about looking my way keep turning muthafucka!”
There was nothing left for either of us to say. He left, and I sat back on the bar stool. It didn’t go as bad as I thought it might have. My conscience was clear, knowing what happened was not something that I could have stopped. I grabbed a bottle of Hennessy from behind the bar and poured up two shots. I slammed them on the table in front of me once they were empty. The liquid burned slightly on the way down. One thing Smoke was right about. It was time to stop worrying about feelings, and it was time to wreck shit like never before.
Chapter 34
Crystal
Istared at the ceiling in silence. It was three a.m. and I hadn’t been to sleep for shit tonight. As a matter of fact, I hadn’t had a good night's sleep in what seemed like years. Kole’s body lay at my side, slumbering peacefully. He didn’t have a care in the world. He had just beaten my ass earlier because I had to make him expend his energy trying to find me. I moved to a different hotel, but it felt like I was still in the same place. He popped up once again, but at least this time, he took me with him to his house. He was full of hell and rage when we got here.
He was pissed that he couldn’t find Terror. He swore I knew something I wasn’t telling him about Terror and MJ’s whereabouts. I wasn’t lying. Terror never told me shit about any of the places he lived while we were together. Honestly, he never really told me anything at all. I was even starting to think that the place he would have me drop MJ off to wasn’t only a prop location. He was always so secretive with me. I’m not sure if it stemmed from his desire to be safe or his mistrust of me. As of late, I was thinking it was the latter. I knew he didn’t love me at all, but I thought I would’ve had more of a hold on him than this. He was acting as if I were nothing to him.
He was acting like I was nothing to MJ. That was the part that bothered me most. I was his mother. He needed me. What could I really do? I couldn’t go to the police. I couldn’t go to court. Even though I legally changed MJ’s name, Terror’s name was still on all his documents. He had father’s rights, and I couldn’t even think about what the ramifications of taking him to court would bring. Terror had money and power. I didn’t stand a chance.
All I could do was ride the wave at this point. Kole at least made sure I was housed and had food to eat. He didn’t give me money, but I also didn’t want for anything while I was here. Terror was going to let me starve out here. Kole was just crazy as hell. I never knew what type of mood he would be in. Anything at any moment could set him off. I wasn’t going to let him break me, though. I was strong, and I could handle the blows. I was waiting for my opportunity to strike. He was so cocky that he thought he was untouchable. But I was observing and taking notes on anything and everything that could work in my favor. He kept his money in a safe, along with the codes to access it. I paid attention to it all. If there was one thing I learned throughout this whole situation, it was that I would have to look out for myself.
I couldn’t trust who would come out on top when Kole and Terror met up again. All I could control was having a plan either way. If Terror came out alive, I would work with him, but I wouldn’t allow him ever to take my son this way again. I would go through the courts to have him removed from the birth certificate. If he wanted to see MJ and maintain their relationship, he would have to maintain the lifestyle I deserved. I wasn’t a basic chick, so I wouldn’t live like one, especially when I had a man who wanted to play baby daddy. No way he wouldhave his new bitch living lavish when I was living crazy. If Kole got the best of Terror, things would be a little tricky.
Somehow, someway, that nigga would have to go. The only thing I could surmise was killing him in his sleep. That was the only way I could get the upper hand. I would crack his safe and be on my way. I already had a passport for myself and MJ because we travelled all the time. These men wouldn’t put me in a box. I controlled my life and the life of my son.
Night turned into day, and my lids had not closed once, but I was up dutifully cooking Kole’s breakfast at seven a.m. It had to be just perfect. His eggs were soft scrambled with a small amount of cheese, grits with extra pepper and light salt, sausage patties burnt only on one side, and bread toasted lightly with two pats of butter. I was strong enough to deal with what he dished out without breaking, but I wasn’t trying to test my limits. I wanted to get by, so I mainly did what he asked me to. He was always in and out most of the day anyway. I certainly didn’t give a fuck about that. I welcomed the peace of him being gone. Every time he darkened the doorstep, my pressure would rise. I knew I had to do something to move this dick swinging contest along. I couldn’t jeopardize MJ in the process. That was my biggest hurdle.How could I get MJ alone and away from these two?
“Damn you ain’t done yet!?” Kole disturbed my countenance as I plated his breakfast.
“I’m finishing up now.”
“I mean, shit, you know what time I get up. Have my shit ready!” he spat, walking into the living room and propping his feet on the couch. He waited to be served like he was some fucking king or something. I finished putting his food on the plate and walked it into the living room to him. I put it down before him and ran back in the kitchen to fetch him a bottle ofwater. As soon as I brought the water back, he began to eat. I didn’t make anything for myself. I had no appetite due to this nigga repulsing me. It’s a shame that I thought this man was attractive at some point.
“What the fuck are you doing about getting my son back? I’m losing patience with this shit.” He spat.
