With another firm smile she vanished one way, I went the other, seeking out someone sweet and good and easy enough to distract myself with for a second before everything descended into chaos.
A soft hand touched my arm as I glanced around the room for my men, startling me.
“You okay, sweetheart, you seem off?” Misha was beside me, his face pulled into a frown.
I realized as he asked me, that he had no idea. Lincoln had told me what he knew. He’d told Kody. At some point in the hospital I knew he’d spoken to Logan, when Logan had wanted to know why I’d been sobbing in a supply cupboard, unable to function.
I’d begged Lincoln not to tell Misha. Not to ruin things for him when his mental health was still so… so fragile. I hadn’t wanted to put anymore of the burden of this life on him when he deserved better.
Price hadn’t been told because he couldn’t keep a secret for shit, and I hadn’t wanted him to feel bad about keeping things from Misha.
“Mish.” My voice was practically a whimper. “I… things are bad.” I said. “I’m not okay.”
He stared at my face, then grabbed my hand, leading me through the partygoers until we found an empty bathroom that he hurried to lock behind us.
“Talk to me.” He ordered as I moved toward the sinks. “Let me help.”
I shook my head, all thoughts leading me to the same path that I would not share just yet. “Theres no time now. Later.”
“Promise?” He kissed my cheek, his voice so sincere, so soft, that I almost felt my heart break for him.
“Yeah. Right now, I want you – I want you to distract me.” I pulled him closer and leaned against the counter, letting him lift me up so I could wrap my legs around his waist.
It took less than thirty seconds for Misha to hoist my dress up, his trousers down, and slide his cock inside of me.
It took less than ten minutes for me to memorize the innocence in his face as he fucked me in a bathroom, with a wild frenzy and lust that I craved more than air.
It took less than fifteen minutes for us both to finish, straighten our clothes, and head back into the party like nothing was wrong, or different, or messy…
The club was packed, the lights flashing in rhythm with the music, but as I walked toward the steps leading up to the stage, everything seemed to blur. The energy of the room felt electric, buzzing with excitement, but beneath it all was the steady thrum of danger as I kissed Misha goodbye and stepped up onto the stage, the mic in front of me gleaming under the neon lights.
With steady steps and a confidence that was wholly real thanks to the buzz of my Misha orgasm, I turned toward the crowd, a wave of emotion crashing over me as I realized just how far I’d come. This party was supposed to be a celebration, and in a way, it still was. But it was also something much bigger. Something more dangerous.
It was a full circle moment that I could never have predicted or asked for, but one I would willingly take the same way my daddy had done before me.
I took a deep breath, my fingers trembling slightly as I reached for the mic. As the lights dimmed and the crowd quieted, I glanced up at the mezzanine level one last time, hoping the only other person in the room who knew my plan was ready in the shadows up there.
Deep breaths, bitch. You can do this.
You can win.
“I wanted to welcome everyone here,” I raised my glass, pretending not to notice the red light flickering in my eyeline or what it meant. “Not just to celebrate my engagement, but for something even more important than that.”
My men stood closest to the stage, each one just out of reach. They’d offered to stand on the stage with me, but I hadn’t been able to tell them yes. I’d had to order them not to.
To stay right there, out of harm’s way.
The same way my daddy had done for me when he’d pushed me back from him and taken the brunt of the pain for himself.
My eyes roamed the crowd, finding Retta where she stood beside Misha. Her dress was beautiful; a sleek black gown that clung to her petite frame and pooled like shadows around her feet. Her blonde hair had been curled perfectly in waves down her back, and her makeup looked flawless.
You couldn’t even tell how much pain she carried in her heart.
You couldn’t see a lick of the darkness that clung to her skin that I had played a part in without ever meaning to.
“I’m here to celebrate the end of a game I never wanted to play.” I raised my glass to Retta, grinning bright enough to blind as I counted down the seconds. “So before the party truly starts, please join me to raise a glass to the O’Malley family, as we are wishing them all to burn in hell!”
A red light lined up, and I stayed right where I was, not even bothering to brace myself for the inevitable, as I downed my Champagne and let the glass slip out of my fingers and shatter on the floor.
