“But me? I was never good enough. My mom was in charge of raising me to be a perfect lady, and she never failed to find something wrong with me. I could never do anything right. I was never skinny enough or pretty enough or smart enough. If Ididmanage to do something right, I was condemned for making my brother feel bad in comparison. Or I should have done more. Or my peers had done it better. There was alwayssomething. I just couldn’t take it anymore. When I applied to be part of the lunar experiments, I didn’t really think I’d get picked. Butwhen I did, when I spent a year away from my parents, not constantly hearing how unacceptable I was, I couldn’t go back. I just couldn’t bear hearing it all again. So, I took my chance, and I left.”
The way she said it, it was like she still expected criticism for the choice. There was no pride or confidence in her voice. She’d done something for herself, then told everyone it was about wanting adventure, because that was easier than explaining that she’d run away. She felt shame for putting herself first, because that’s what she had been taught. Even if no one would tell her she was wrong, she still told herself.
She might be away from those people, but she hadn’t escaped them. The memories were still clinging to her brain.
And Sway understood that as well.
Reaching across their little table, he took her face in his hands and forced her to look up. She didn’t resist at all. But the look she gave him was so open and vulnerable. Like she genuinely expectedhimto criticize her now. Because someonehadto do it, right?
“You’re good enough,” Sway promised her. “You’re more than good enough. Look how far you’ve come. Look at all these things you’ve accomplished. Even if you don’t feel good enough for yourself yet, know that you are far and away better than anything I’d ever consider ‘enough’. You are incredible, Grace, and I am so glad you had the courage to ask me out tonight.”
She blinked at him, a stunned gleam in her eyes that she quickly concealed behind her lids before they could transform into tears. But he’d seen it. That spark of hope and joy and relief. An escape from the bad thoughts that haunted her mind, even if it was only temporary.
And he knew he couldn’t give her up.
Chapter 8
Grace
Had that been a good date or a bad one?
Grace worried her lip as her foot bounced anxiously under her desk. She had her displays open, watching from multiple angles as the dock team worked on the Humility. Things were preceding quickly. Even as she watched, they were hovering in the new food synthesizer.
Grace hadn’t meant to divulge such a personal detail about herself. Not on the first date. That was way too heavy for a casual meal in the park. Her usual excuse – looking for fun and excitement – was her go to reason for how she ended up here. No one ever called her out on it before. No one ever confronted her so immediately, so confidently, before. It was like he could read her insecurities and demanded the truth.
Then, she’d just blabbed her honest feelings to him. He’d said the sweetest, most romantic thing she’d ever heard, and the date just kind of ended. They didn’t finish eating. He walked her back to the employee dorms where she lived. She was so in her head, reeling from her own confession, from the things he said, she forgot to give him a goodnight kiss or ask even him out for a second date.
And now, in the light of day, having had some sleep, she was pretty sure she’d just trauma dumped on the poor guy, and now he was trying to politely distance himself after consoling her.
Reetak kept sending her looks, like she wanted to ask, but she couldn’t get close.
Covor was hovering. And looming. And booming orders in his loud, domineering voice. He was clearly irritated about something. But since Grace was focused on the fact that she might very well have screwed up royally with a guy she was genuinely interested in, she didn’t care. She was letting him stomp around being obnoxious and irritated without even paying attention except when he addressed her directly.
Would Sway want to see her again after that? The things he said to her were so deep and poignant, she was desperate to hear them again. She wanted more.
But she was also acutely aware that, despite spilling her guts prematurely, Sway had actually said nothing about himself. He’d listened so kindly, spoken so sweetly, then he promptly returned her to her place just like that.
Grace was convinced she’d just shoved her foot right in it. He probably thought she was a crazy, stage five clinger. And he had every reason to think that after she just vomited her mommy issues all over him on thefirst freaking date!
Regret was a hot, bitter thing in her gut as she was sure she’d just ruined something great before it even had a chance to get started. She really liked Sway. She was hopeful about whatever it was they were doing.
He’d thanked her for asking him out. So, that had to mean he didn’tcompletelyregret it, right? Or maybe she was just readingwhat she wanted to in what was nothing more than kindness from a guy who was trying to talk the crazy girl off a ledge.
She really wanted to see him again. To get a take two on their date and prove that she wasn’tthatgirl. Even though she’d acted like one already. She was normal! She could be a good date. She could have casual fun without being psycho.
Hopefully. Oh, man, what if she couldn’t? What if shewasthat girl? What if she’d well and truly ruined whatever she might have had with Sway?
As though her thoughts had summoned him, on the display, he walked into view. He was speaking to the dock manager. Without turning on the audio, Grace couldn’t hear what was being said. But her heart skipped a beat at the sight of the feathered male.
How was he more attractive every time she saw him? It was the same black shirt, black boots, jumpsuit tied at the waist combo that he’d been wearing every time she saw him, but he looked so good in it. He moved so gracefully as well. There was no bounce in his steps at all. He kind of just glided across the ground, smiling that shy, reserved smile of his.
If she asked him out again, would he dodge her? Would he ghost her? Or was there a chance she hadn’t just completely screwed everything up?
The dock manager was saying something, pointing further into the docks. Sway was listening, his expression rapt as though he were committing it all to memory. Then, he was turning, walking not back into his ship but towards-
“Grace!”
Covor’s big, booming voice blasting right in her ear made her jump and turn. Her boss was glaring down at her with dark anger harshly carved on his face.
