‘Will you stay in touch?’ Cali asks, standing, delicately.
‘I’d like that,’ I say, and she totters into my arms. ‘If you don’t throw up on me . . .’
When we pull away, I move towards the door.
Cali stops me. ‘You’ll tell Alex you’re getting off the train though, won’t you?’
I check the time again. I have ten minutes before we arrive at Whistler station. ‘If I find her.’
Ten minutes is about enough time to walk the length of the train looking for Alex, but I think I know where she’s likely to be.
I ascend the stairs to the celestial carriage. It’s Boxing Day today, and the scenery is stunning, the snow having cleared itself in the breeze from the domed glass. Most seats are full of other passengers, gazing, photographing, relaxing under the filtered sunshine.
Alex’s dark hair is loose, shiny but tousled, and she leans her head against the window. She doesn’t spot me, lost in the view, or in thought, or in both, until I’m standing beside her seat.
‘Oh hi, is that Bryn’s sister-in-law?’ I say. I don’t know why I’m making a joke of it, but I give her a small smile to let her know it’s just that.
Alex whips her head around, pushing her hair back, looking up at me with big eyes that have sleepy bags under them, which she still manages to pull off. She scrambles upright, scooting over, and I slide into the seat next to her.
‘Ember, I can’t even begin, I’m so sorry, please know that I wish I could go back to the start and tell you who I was, who I am, and it wouldn’t change anything because I really have liked getting to know you and hanging out with you.’
I nod, and swallow down any words that might muddle this. ‘I’m getting off the train when we get to Whistler.’
‘What?’ she says. ‘But that’s in a few minutes!’
‘I wanted to say goodbye.’
Alex drops her eyes. ‘You must hate me.’
‘I don’t hate you one bit. And this is a good thing, for your sister’s wedding, and for me.’ I mean it. I don’t want to hold any resentment in me any longer. I just want to remember the good times, and drift back to the life I love.
I stand up, and she stands with me. ‘Can I give you a hug?’ she asks.
‘Yes please.’
When Alex put her arms around me, a part of me vows to keep the memory of her safe in my heart. ‘I’m sorry,’ she says again, but I shake my head.
‘No more sorrys. I’m not sorry.’
‘No?’
‘No.’ An announcement comes over the speaker; we’re pulling into Whistler, and I give her one last embrace. As I pull back, our lips hesitate near each other, breathing each other in for the final time, willing things to be just a little different.
But they aren’t. ‘Goodbye, Alex,’ I say, and I slide out from her arms, pick up my bag, and step off the train.
I’ve wandered out of the station while I wait for the train that’ll take me back to Jasper. I don’t want to see any of my old friends again if they get onto the platform to stretch their legs during the short rest stop.
I’m just studying the opening hours on the small café, when footsteps running catch my attention. The sun is low and bright, and I have to squint into it to see her dark hair billowing out behind her.
‘Wait, Ember, wait,’ says Alex. She’s carrying a bag.
‘What are you doing?’
‘I’m getting off, I’m staying with you. I’ll miss the wedding.’
‘No, you won’t.’
‘Yes, I will, I need you to know this wasn’t all a lie, I wasn’t just trying to make you forget about Bryn.’
