Rachael looked around the ballroom and saw how the eyes that turned in her direction quickly pulled away again, only for hands to raise to mouths which, behind those hands, no doubt immediately began to whisper about her. Tears began to burn in her eyes, but her father settled one hand on her shoulder, his quiet smile an attempt to be encouraging.
“Do not give up hope yet, my dear. We have come back to London, aware that we have already proven that the rumors from last Season were nothing but a falsehood. Why should you be punished for something that was clearly untrue?”
“Because thetonhas decided that I must be.” Miserable, Rachael dropped her head and closed her eyes tightly against her tears. “It will do no good, being here. If it is already said that I bear some shame, even if it is not true, the rumors have already spread widely enough to damage my reputation.”
“It is most unfair.” With a small sigh, Lady Grant put one arm around Rachael’s waist and pulled her close. “But we are not ready to give up, not as yet! We have come to London to prove to thetonthat you have nothing to hide from. Whether it will doany good remains to be seen, but I must hope that, by the end of the Season, you will have regained your social standing.”
Rachael looked up at her mother, trying to find the same sort of hope within her own heart as was in her mother’s voice and expression, but there was nothing but a heavy sadness there instead. This was her first ball of the Season, the first time that she had been out in society, and while it seemed that the invitations were not slow in coming to her father’s townhouse, steppingintothe room had not brought her the same welcome.
“You should walk with Father around the ballroom, Mama,” Rachael suggested, her voice quiet but determined, even though her mother quickly shook her head. “It will be good for you both to be seen, and I am sure that many a friend or acquaintance will wish to speak with you. If I am with you, then perhaps that will not be so.”
Her father immediately shook his head.
“We cannot leave you standing at the side of the ballroom without a chaperone. It would not be proper.”
“I will stand with the other wallflowers,” Rachael replied, gesturing to the three who had gathered there and, catching the eye of one of them, smiling back at her. “I consider them my friends, Father, since we became so well-known to each other last Season. I will be quite safe and, given that I must also consider myself a wallflower now, no one will so much as look at me.”
“You are not a wallflower, Rachael!” Lady Grant sounded so utterly horrified, Rachael could not help but smile, albeit sadly. “You must not think of yourself so.”
“I will think of myself as I must,” she answered, softly. “Go, Mama. Walk about the ballroom, greet your friends and mayhap, as you have said, it will lead to the regaining of my social standing by the end of the Season itself.” She glanced again at the other wallflowers. “I will go to them.”
She watched as her mother and father exchanged a look. It did not take long, however, for her father to agree to Rachael’s suggestion, though he did make her promise that she would not move from where she stood with the wallflowers,andswore that they would be but a few minutes. Relieved, Rachael watched them take their leave of her and then, turning, hurried to her friends.
“Good evening, Miss Simmons!” Lady Frederica stepped forward, grasping her hands. “I did not know if you would come to London this Season, but I am very glad indeed to see you again. How are you at present?”
Rachael looked from one friend to the other, her shoulders dropping.
“I would say that I am well and, whilst that would be true, it would not express the sorrows of my heart at the clear dislike which is etched upon the faces of so many people present this evening.”
“Which is utterly ridiculous, given that you have done nothing worthy of their dislike.” Miss Fairley shook her head and clicked her tongue, looking away. “It is nothing but a sham, this business of being a wallflower. I do not like it in the least.”
“I do not think that any wallflower is particularly contented with being a wallflower,” Rachael replied, with a wry smile. “Though I will say that I am glad to see you all again. That has given me a little more hope, at least.”
Lady Frederica tilted her head.
“Hope?”
With a wry smile, Rachael lifted her shoulders.
“My mother hopes that I will be able to regain my social standing by the end of the Season. She is praying that thetonwill forget all about what they have placed upon me and that, by the end of the Season, I will be just as any other young lady.”
Lady Frederica’s gaze sharpened.
“I can tell from your expression that you do not feel the same.”
“Is it so very apparent?” With a wry look, Rachael turned her head and gestured to the other guests. “One thing I have learned is that thetonhas very long memories and tightly grasping hands. If they wish to, they will hold onto these rumors, listen long to the whispers about me, and hold it close to them for as long as they please. I do not think, therefore, that it will be as easy as my mother believes. I do not think that thetonwill forget about what they think of me simply because I am present in London. Indeed, they will, no doubt, think all the worse of me because, in seeing me again, the rumors from last Season will resurface all over again.” Looking back at her friends, she searched each one for even a flicker of hope, for something that went against what she had said, but there was nothing except gentle acknowledgment written on each one’s face. That was the trouble, Rachael realized. They were all pushed down and held back by the heavy tide of theton’s opinion. There was nothing that they could do, nothing that would be of any help to them. They could not turn back the opinion of theton,could not, simply by their presence alone, have thetonbelieve that there was no guilt upon their shoulders whatsoever. All they could do instead was simply watch what went by and silently pray that, one day soon, their supposed shame would be forgotten, and they could return to their positions in society, as they had been before.
The chance of that happening was slim.
“And have you seen Lord Blackmore as yet?”
Rachael shook her head.
“It is so very strange. I did not know the gentleman very well at all! We were acquainted, yes, and I believed we had danced on one occasion, but that was all. We were not so closely connected to have thetonbelieve there was anything of interestbetween us. Why my name should then be connected with his, whyIshould be the one whom it was suggested had done such a heinous thing as what was said, and why, thereafter, it was said that we were betrothed, is quite beyond me. I have done nothing to encourage a close connection between myself and Lord Blackmore and yet, for some reason, someone believed that I was the young lady who had stepped out of his townhouse early in the morning!” She shook her head and tried to ignore the stab of pain that came with her words. “It was all utterly preposterous and yet, society believed it without question.”
“Not everyone did,” Miss Fairley murmured, gently. “We did not.”
“And I am grateful to all of you for that,” Rachael answered, putting one hand to her heart. “In truth, if I had not discovered you last Season, then I do not know what I would have done. I think I would have broken apart from loneliness!”
