Her intention to speak with him directly now conflicted with a strange nervousness. It swirled through her stomach, tying itself in various knots before flying through her veins. Every sensible thought removed itself from her consciousness, rendering her speechless.
“Are you going to speak with him?”
Diane touched her arm and Emma jumped visibly, forcing her gaze away from him.
“I - It is very odd, but I find myself a little overwhelmed,” she admitted frankly. “I did not think I would react so… strangely.”
Her cousin laughed softly.
“That is because your heart is affected. You would not react to him in such a fashion if you had not any feelings for him.”
“I did not think that I would behave with such foolishness!”
Trying to throw aside her odd reaction, and with small lift of her chin, Emma drew in a long breath and then made her way directly towards Lord Thornbridge.
I cannot pull away from him now, simply because of the nervousness I feel. I am determined, am I not?
As she approached, the gentleman Lord Thornbridge had been speaking to took his farewell, and Lord Thornbridge’s eyes fixed themselves on Emma, as though he had been aware of her presence.
His reaction was immediate. There came a smile that spread so wide across his face that it lit his eyes. He began to make his way forward, one hand outstretched.
And then at the following moment, his hand fell to his side. Stopping his approach, he remained precisely where he was, not allowing himself to step forward anymore. The smile on his lips faded, and his eyes turned away from her. It was as though he had remembered how heoughtto react, how he ought to behave when he was in her company, now that he had ended their closeness. His choice had forced him to change his behavior.
“Good afternoon, Lady Emma.” Inclining his head rather sharply, Lord Thornbridge cleared his throat and clasped his hands behind his back. “I am returned to London, as you see.”
“Yes. I – I can see that.” Finding herself speaking rather haltingly, given the strangeness of his reaction, Emma forced a smile. “To be truthful, I am glad to see you.”
“And I am glad to see you.” The softness of his voice betrayed him, and at the next moment he turned his head away sharply, a grimace pulling at his mouth, as if he regretted speaking so. Emma found herself searching his face for any hint of what was going on within. There seemed to be anger placing shadows in his eyes, although what exactly it could be about, she had very little idea. She simply could not understand how one moment, he appeared very glad to see her, but then the next seemed to be either regretful or irritated over their conversation. Why was he pulling back from her, instead of drawing near to her, when he had initially appeared so eager to do so? “I should be on my way.”
Before she could prevent herself from being so forward, Emma put out one hand to grasp his arm. Her fingers did not reach the fine cloth of his sleeve, however, for he moved and she found herself grasping his hand instead. The warmth of his fingers on hers made her breath hitch, and Lord Thornbridge himself caught an audible breath.
“There is something curious about all of this,” she stated, aware of the slight wobble to her voice. She was not upset, but rather it was the strength of the reaction of her hand on his that demanded she speak. “You ended our connection in the oddest manner.”
“That is because I was required to,” he answered, although Emma noticed that he did not pull his hand away, even though they were standing in the middle of a London street. “I have heard that you have not spoken of that to anyone. You have not told thetonthe truth.”
Was that displeasure in his voice?
“Because I do not consider our connection at an end,” she stated plainly. “You owe me a clear and understandable explanation, given that there was talk of courtship, and as yet, you have not provided me with one.”
“I had to return home,” he explained as though that was reason enough.
“That was no explanation at all, since you have now returned,” she shot back. “Why is it that you must end our situation? We were sharing such a closeness and – I find that I do not want less, but more.”
Lord Thornbridge shook his head and, after a moment, took his hand away.
“Why do you require an explanation other than what I have given you?” There was no harsh tone to his voice, but rather a quietness and a gravity which spoke of a heavy heart. “I am doing my best to care for you, even though I am all too aware that I have injured you by stepping away so.”
Emma blinked. That response made very little sense. How could he be caring for her by doing such a thing?
“You care for me?”
He closed his eyes.
“I am doing my best to careforyou.”
Swallowing the lump which had tightened her throat, Emma spread one hand out wide.
“Explain to me what that means, I beg of you.” The trembling in her voice increased. “If there is any emotion in your heart for me, then I must beg of you not to break mine asunder.”
