“You have been upset by Lord Thornbridge’s absence and thereafter, hopeful over his return. Of course, you will find a reason for him to have done such a thing – but that does not mean that you are correct.”
Emma shook her head, her jaw tightening. Had she made a mistake in telling her cousin of this?
“Pray, listen to me.” She spoke with more conviction. “Our conversation at the time was very strange. He gave me no reason for the ending of our closeness other than his forced return to his estate – only now, it seems, to return rather quickly. Why should our connection be ended if he was to return so soon?”
Her cousin did not give her an immediate answer. Instead, her eyes danced across Emma’s face, her gaze steady. When her response came, it was not one that pleased Emma.
“Lord Thornbridge has his reasons, I am sure, but the one he gave you was of his return to the estate. He is not required to offer you anything more, but it is clear that he does not think there is anything lasting in your connection. That is why he has brought it to an end, rather than pursuing it towards courtship.” Her hand squeezed Emma’s fingers again and then released them. “It is a difficult thing to accept, my dear, especially if you have allowed your heart to become affected. Yet, I fear that you must find a way to accept it, else you will only cause yourself more heartbreak, more pain, and suffering.”
Having not expected this response, Emma struggled to know what to say. Her mouth went suddenly dry as she opened it, no words coming to her. There was a chance, she realized, that what her cousin was saying was quite correct and reasonable, but something about the entire situation refused to let her believe it.
“I understand why you would say such a thing, but I do not think it is true.” Smiling, she shook her head. “I know that you think that I am ridiculous and that I lack good sense, but I assure you that the manner he spoke to me about the ending of our close acquaintance was very strange indeed.”
“Perhaps he is just a gentleman unused to having to end such things. He has never shown any closeness before with anyone. This may be a very strange and uncertain situation to him.”
I am not getting through to her. She does not seem to show any understanding. It may have been wiser for me to remain silent.
There came a few minutes of silence. Emma sat back and did not speak as the carriage finally came to a stop. After a few moments, the door opened and they both stepped out, one after the other.
Emma’s lips were pulled tight. Yes, her cousin’s explanation might well be correct, but to her mind, there was a complexity to this which had not yet been fully explained.
“You are disappointed, I assume.”
Glancing over at her cousin as they slowly began to promenade down the street, she lifted one shoulder in a gentle shrug.
“I thought I would have received a little more understanding from you, certainly.”
“I am doing my best to help you,” Diane replied, although her brow furrowed. “Mayhap I should have given it a little more thought. You have always been a considerate person. Perhaps if you think that there is something more to this, then I ought to believe you.”
“If you would even give it a little more thought, I would be grateful,” Emma replied, a tiny hope beginning to burn in her heart. “I know that I am unused to all things such as this. I am unwed, I have never been courted by a gentleman, whereas you are a married woman, but I must ask you to consider what I have said at least. It may be that I am wrong, but would it not be best for me to make certain of that rather than give up on him entirely?” She shrugged. “I will not pretend that I do not think very highly indeed of Lord Thornbridge. And yes, my heart has been a little affected. I had hoped that he would consider courtship next, and indeed he had even spoken of it to me. For that to all be taken away without any real explanation has left me both confused and hurt, but I am also determined to discover the truth - I do not think that he has given it to me.”
Her cousin sighed, as though Emma was being more than a little difficult. To Emma’s relief, however, Diane nodded and gave Emma a quick smile.
“You are right, I should consider it at least. Although I do not think it is good that you have given the impression to thetonthat things are just as they have been between yourself and Lord Thornbridge. What will happen if they discover the truth?”
This was not something that Emma had allowed herself to consider, and even now she pushed it away.
“I am hopeful that we will not have to ever have that discussion with anyone,” she stated firmly. “I hope to find out the truth from Lord Thornbridge and thereafter, perhaps continue on with our acquaintance, such as it has been.”
“I think that is a little dangerous, but….” Sighing again, Diane shrugged both shoulders. “It may be that you are right. Let ushopethat you are right. What is it that you intend to do if you should see him?”
“I intend to speak to him directly,” Emma replied firmly, with the same confidence that had been in her before. “In short, I hope to have a private conversation with him where I explain that I am not satisfied with the reasons that he gave me for the ending of our acquaintance. Perhaps I might even suggest that there is something more to this than he is willing to inform me of.”
“Do you really think that he will tell you anything?”
“We have a close connection.” Emma shrugged. “I will use what we have built already to guide my conversation going forward. That is my intention at least, and as you know, I have a great deal of determination.”
Diane chuckled.
“Yes, I am very well aware of that, my dear cousin.”
They laughed together as they continued to promenade down the street. They had come in search of new ribbons for the upcoming balls, but also they wanted to see which of thetonwere present this afternoon here in town. It was always a good opportunity for conversation, to further acquaintances, and to develop new ones.
Emma’s heart stopped suddenly. Her chest tightened and her eyes fixed themselves on none other than the gentleman they had been discussing.
Oh, how very handsome he is.
Strong arms were held down tight by his sides, his chin was lifted and there was a small smile on his lips as he spoke with another gentleman. The joy which poured through her was an astonishing warmth, making her realize just how much she had missed him these last few weeks. It was quite extraordinary, for she had not truly until now, recognized the depth of feeling in her heart for this gentleman. It was only when she saw him again that it rang true, and her heart quickened.
