“I think that you ought to consider what it is that you are struggling with at present, and whether or not you will be able to endure such feelings for the rest of your life,” Mary said softly, looking back at her. “It is clear that you have a lot of guilt and sorrow within you. No doubt you will have a great anxiety also, deeply concerned that this gentleman, whoever he is, will be able to discover what you have done. One way or the other, whether you tell him or not, is that truly how you wish to live the rest of your days? Is that what you desire for yourself?” Tara shook her head, her throat constricting. Of course, her sister would not understand. She had not been the one to endure such torment, she had not been the one who had stood beside Lord Pottinger and seen him sign his fortune away in full knowledge of what it was she was doing, whereas Tara could not ignore the seriousness of what could occur should she tell him the truth. “I would have you tell this gentleman everything,” Mary continued as though she had been able to read Tara’s thoughts. “That is the only way you will be able to discover any sort of happiness in the years to come. And perhaps I ought to face the consequences of my own actions. I know that you have been protecting me, but in this matter, it ismyfault that such a thing took place. I encourage you to be honest with this fellow, whoever he is. That is the only way that your heart is ever going to be free of the guilt which is currently burying you.”
Tara put one hand to her heart.
“Mary, he could ruin us completely.”
“And should he do so, then we will recover.” Her sister squeezed her hand tightly, her eyes steady. “I cannot bear to see you in this state in the days, months, and years to come, knowing that it is my fault that you wereeverforced into that situation in the first place. Whoever this gentleman is, perhaps he will be the understanding sort. Mayhap he will be glad that you have found the confidence to speak with him and might understand your motivations behind what you did.”
“And perhaps he will do precisely the opposite and tell of everything that I have done to all of society.”
Tara’s voice was barely a whisper, but Mary squeezed her hand yet again.
“Yes, maybe he will do so, but that is a risk I think you must take. I will be by your side if you wish it.” Her eyes searched Tara’s face for a moment before she drew in a deep breath, let go of Tara’s hand and sat back, her shoulders straight. “Might you be willing to tell me the name of this gentleman?”
Tara closed her eyes but nodded, her chest tight as she opened her eyes to look into her sister’s face.
“It is Lord Pottinger,” she said, catching the way Mary’s eyes flared. “The gentleman whose life, by my actions, I have ruined, is none other than the eligible and amiable Lord Pottinger.”
Chapter Seven
“Iam sure that that young lady knows more than she is saying.”
Lord Stoneleigh let out a small sigh, but James ignored it, well aware that he had spoken about this matter on more than one occasion during these last ten days, but he simply could not help it. There had been great anguish in Miss Shaw’s eyes, and the way that she had wrenched herself from him had spoken of great distress. James very much wished to know what it was that troubled her, finding himself surprisingly eager to aid her, not only because of his own difficulties, but also for her sake. The thought of her continuing in her distress was troubling to his heart.
“Might I suggest that you actually speak toherabout this, rather than speaking to me?” Lord Stoneleigh lifted one eyebrow as James let out a frustrated breath. “I can only listen to you. I cannot offer you any advice.”
“I have tried to speak to her already, as you might recall,” James responded swiftly. “She pulled herself away from me. She insisted that there was nothing that she wished to tell me. I cannot imagine that such things will be different now since she has not approached me.”
“You may be surprised.” Lord Stoneleigh shrugged. “Have you returned to that house of ill-repute? Have you any recollection of it?”
Snorting, James rolled his eyes.
“Yes, I returned, but everyone that I spoke to stated that they had never seen me before and that they had no recollection of me ever being present in the place. I also presented the pendant but, of course, no one identified that either. In fact, I was made to feel as though I was something of a fool, for believing that I had ever been there. It was obvious to everyone else that I had never set foot in that establishment, and it was suggested that perhaps I had mistaken one house for another. But I know I am correct. That place is where my fortune was stolen from me. I have not a single doubt about it.”
“So what then shall you do?” His friend asked, folding his arms across his chest. “If no one will admit to seeing you there, then you have no help whatsoever. The pendant is next to useless. What then, are your intentions? Will you go and speak with the proprietor of the gambling den? Perhaps he will be able to tell you something, although he did seem a little less than eager when I spoke with him.”
James shook his head.
“I doubt that speaking to the man would be of any use whatsoever. After all, it was not there that I lost my fortune. I might very well have played only a few games of gambling and then been taken somewhere else.” Heat licked up his chest and into his neck, as the flush of embarrassment filled him, but he continued to speak as he recalled how he had awoken. “Someone wanted to give the very distinct impression that I had spent time in the company of a young woman at the bawdy house. I would never have gone there willingly. I am sure of it.”
“You believe then that you have kept your vow?”
James nodded.
“Imustbelieve it. If I do not, then I shall lose all hope in my heart.”
Lord Stoneleigh grinned.
“That is good at least. So what do you plan to do next?”
James spread his hands wide.
“The only thing I can do. Imustspeak to Miss Shaw. I must beg her to tell me what she knows of that place, to see whether or not she can be of any aid to my particular situation, I cannot demand, but I must try. She is my only hope. I cannot imagine what reason a respectable young lady might have for going to such a place, but nonetheless, she was there, and there must be some reason for it!”
A frown immediately placed itself upon Lord Stoneleigh’s forehead, drawing his eyebrows down.
“I should not place all of your hopes upon Miss Shaw. It may be that it is exactly as she said: her reasons for going to that establishment are very different to your own. Even if she does speak with you, she may well prove her words correct. Then what will you do?”
“I think I shall drop into despondency,” James quipped, his smile rueful. “In truth, I have very little idea as to what I will do. Perhaps I shall have to go and speak with the proprietor after all, for what else can be done? It may be that I shall have to pay the vowel after all, and be plunged into a most difficult situation.” Turning his eyes to his friend, he lifted one hand towards him. “Tell me truthfully, is it very difficult?”
