“Of course I do. I do not think that I have ever been more ashamed of myself.”
“As I have said to you, it was his doing. It was he who was in the wrong. He ought not to haveevercome near you, nor led you away, but now that I am able to reflect on what took place, I can say with confidence that the man did what he did most deliberately.”
Her sister’s eyes flared.
“You believe that he sought me out to press his affections on me for his own purposes?”
“Yes, that is precisely what I am saying. I believe that we were carefully chosen to suit his purposes. That is why he did not ever give you his name.”
Mary nodded slowly.
“I do recall asking him for his name on more than one occasion, but he continually chose not to give it to me. Because it was a masquerade, I thought that perhaps he was eager to disguise himself to play the part required. I believed that, in time, he would not only take off his mask, but would also reveal his name to me. But then, after a while, it did not seem to matter what his name or title was.” A gentle flush colored her cheeks. “I am heartily ashamed of myself for being so easily taken in. I knew that I ought not to go anywhere with him, I was fully aware that my reputation would be in danger, but no gentleman had ever spoken to me in such a way before.”
“I am well aware that he made himself incredibly appealing to you. He used your naivety against you, and for his own benefit. When I discovered you absent, of course, I came searching for you, and upon finding you, as you know I sent you away, for the sake of your reputation. But I continued in conversation with that gentleman. I had every intention of speaking harshly to him, of demanding to know what he thought he was doing in behaving so, but the conversation turned out quite differently.”
Tara closed her eyes. She could still see that moment as it had played out. She had drawn herself up to her full height, had been about to demand that the man explain to her precisely what he had thought he was doing in taking her sister away, only for him to chuckle darkly, and for Tara herself to then realize what a mistake she had made.
It had all been deliberate. That gentleman had wanted to use both her and her sister to his advantage, and he had succeeded.
“The room itself was rather dark, and as I went to speak to him, I could not make out his features. I assume that he never once took off his mask when he was speaking with you?”
“No, he did not,” Mary murmured, her face still flushed. “That is to say, he took it off when we were in that quiet little room together, but it was so dark, with only one or two candles, that I could see nothing more than an outline. If I am to be honest, I will tell you that I was not paying much attention to his features at that moment.”
Tara swallowed hard, understanding exactly what it was her sister meant.
“I do not blame you for this at all. I understand that you were taken captive by his apparent affections and his desires. It must have been incredibly overwhelming.”
“Again, you give me far too much consideration when you ought to be telling me that I should never have behaved so.”
Mary pressed Tara’s hand and Tara herself let out a small, broken laugh.
“Mayhap I should be a little more critical, but I cannot bring myself to be so. Now that I have seen the evil that is in this gentleman, I cannot blame you for anything.”
When she looked up, Mary’s eyes had gone very large indeed.
“What is it that he has done?”
Tara fought against the hot tears which threatened to spill down her cheeks again.
“I tried to leave the room once I realized a little of his intent, but he hurried and slammed the door shut. I have no qualms in admitting to you that I was very afraid.” Her breath shuddered out of her. “He stated that, if I did not do as he asked, he would make quite certain that you would be ruined – all he need do was make sure that rumors started, that people realized that you had been absent from the ball for that short while. He stated that it was only a small thing that he required of me and, such was my fear, I had no other choice but to agree, for I had no doubt that he would do precisely as he had threatened. It would mean very little to him to do such a thing as that, whereas it would mean that your future would be nothing but darkness. You would be ruined and thereafter, forced to spend your days as a companion to one of our relations, or perhaps be wed to someone who cared very little for you and who married you only out of requirement, if indeed, such a man might be found at all. So therefore, I did what he asked. And while the actions he required were, indeed, not such a large thing, the impact of those actions was far more than could ever be excused.”
Mary closed her eyes.
“Oh, Tara.” Her voice was soft, tears in every word. “Why ever did you do such a thing?”
“Because I had to protect you. He gave me no other choice. Believe me when I say, he would have done anything to make certain that I obeyed. I could not allow him to do anything which would jeopardize you. You have suffered more than enough. Our mother’s passing has not been easy for either of us, and I would not allow any more difficulty to come to you, not if I could help it.”
Her sister said nothing for some minutes. Instead, she simply shook her head and looked away as though she could not quite believe what it was that Tara had told her. Did she think poorly of Tara now? Did she think that she had chosen the wrong course of action and could no longer claim to be a woman of honor?
“You cannot know the respect and admiration for you that possesses my heart at this moment, Tara.” Tara’s shoulders slumped, her throat constricting as her sister gripped her hand. “To know that you have done such a thing as this, whatever the actions and their results are, for my sake, is more humbling than I can express. Especially when I was the one who was a fool, when I was the one who did as I ought not to have done.”
“But again, I could not blame you for that, not when I know that this gentleman did such things to you purposefully.” Tara tried to explain, no longer held back. “But I have done something so terrible that I know it can never be forgiven – and now what is worse, the gentleman to whom I did such a thing saw me enter the place where that dark happening occurred. He has even spoken to me, eager to know what I was doing in that place in the hope that I might be able to help him when the truth is thatIam the one who has destroyed him.”
“He wishes to talk with you?” Mary repeated as Tara nodded, choosing to hide the fact that she found herself drawn to Lord Pottinger, despite the fact that she had injured him so. “Then why not do so? Why not tell him what has taken place? Perhaps you will be able to resolve the situation together.”
Tara shook her head.
“It is quite useless. There is nothing I can say, apart from admitting my own guilt, and I fear what would happen, should I do such a thing - and what would happen to you also. This gentleman might become quite furious over what I tell him and in turn, could resolve to ruin both myself and you, entirely. After everything I have done for you, I do not think I could bear to risk that.” Licking her lips, Mary turned her head away. She did not immediately answer, and Tara found herself a little surprised by her sister’s lack of agreement. She would have thought that Mary would have wanted to protect her reputation at all costs. “You think that I should say something to him?”
