Chapter Eleven
The urge to flee, to run, to leave his courage behind and return home was so great that it took every ounce of Benjamin’s strength just to remain in the ballroom. Miss Carshaw was by his side as many a gentleman and lady came to congratulate them, but every time Benjamin glanced at her, he caught nothing more than a white face and a somewhat pinched expression.
It had not been his intention to say such a thing, nor to declare himself in such a fashion, but when Lady Steerford had walked into the room, there had been nothing else for him to do but that. He had no inkling as to whether or not Miss Carshaw would be pleased with him, or lost in grief. What if she had thoughts of another gentleman whom she considered more preferable? Closing his eyes for a moment, he let out a slow breath. There was nothing that could be done about that now. They were betrothed and soon to wed.
“Whatever is the meaning of this?”
Rather than looking pleased in any way, Miss Carshaw’s brother - the gentleman whose title Benjamin was yet to discover - came towards them with an expression of fury. There was no joy in his face, but rather, his brows were pulled together, sending shadows over his eyes, with his mouth a tight line and his jaw working furiously. For whatever reason, it seemed that the fellow had no pleasure in hearing about his sister’s betrothal. In contrast, he appeared absolutely enraged.
“A situation has occurred whereby your sister and I now must wed.” Benjamin turned sharply, grasping the man by the elbow, and turning him away from the gathering crowd who, no doubt, would have been eager to hear what the fellow had to say. “It was not intentional. I saw her being pursued by another gentleman – one who wore a wicked grin - and went into that room to make certain that she was quite well, only to be discovered by another lady of theton. Thus, being alone with your sister, I had to immediately make a choice and decided to betroth myself to your sister, to make certain that there could be no damage to her reputation.”
All too aware of the many eyes which were watching them, Benjamin narrowed his own eyes as the man’s face flushed red and hot.
“You had no right to do such a thing.” The man jabbed one finger to Benjamin’s chest. “She ismysister andmyconcern.”
“I am all too aware of that, but as you were not present, l had no other choice but to do what I thought was best. Clearly, the assumption that there was something more between myself and Miss Carshaw could have caused great damage to your sister’s reputation. Before Lady Steerford could say anything to anyone else, I told the lady your sister had just accepted my proposal. And now, of course, I am under obligation, and we shall wed. I am in no way distressed by the situation, for I find your sister a most pleasant young woman.”
The man’s eyes darkened, and his chin tilted.
“No. No, this is foolishness! You need not throw your life away on my sister. You need not betroth yourself to her. I am certain that I can arrange this situation carefully so that no harm comes to anyone. I have another gentleman willing to marry her, who might very well be displeased that she is now betrothed. That was something I have specifically arranged since, after all,” he continued, chuckling darkly as he shrugged his shoulders, “it is not as though Julia’s company is much in demand.”
Bristling at his cruelty, Benjamin shook his head.
“I shall not simply stand by and allow your sister to take guilt upon her shoulders, to have her reputation sullied for something that is not her fault” he stated quite firmly. “I have taken on a responsibility, and I fully intend to fulfill it.”
Seeing the man open his mouth again, Benjamin quickly shook his head, putting a smile on his face that he did not really feel. Warnings rose up in his mind about being brother-in-law to this man that so many gentlemen stayed away from, but he pushed them away. It was much too late for all of that.
“And so you are betrothed.”
Another voice interrupted their conversation, and Benjamin turned quickly away from Miss Carshaw’s brother. Nodding fervently, he stretched as wide a smile as he could onto his lips. He was not about to pretend that nothing had happened, nor was he going to separate himself from Miss Carshaw as her brother requested.
“Yes, indeed we are.” His smile was warm as he caught the flash of interest in Miss Pennington’s eyes. “I am betrothed to Miss Carshaw.”
Upon hearing her name, Miss Carshaw herself turned her head and came towards him, her eyes a little wide. Was that relief in her expression, or was there disappointment?
“It has been a great surprise for theton,” Miss Pennington laughed, but Benjamin did not join in; nor did Miss Carshaw.
Her eyes continued to flicker up towards his, as if she were a little uncertain as to how he truly felt about the matter. They had not had any opportunity to talk since the moment when he had declared them betrothed and perhaps, he felt, everything for her, at present, was a little confusing. Interrupting the flow of conversation from Miss Pennington, Benjamin took a breath.
“Thank you, Miss Pennington, for your congratulations, but you will have to forgive me for stepping away. I intend to take my newly betrothed, Miss Carshaw, for a turn about the room, and mayhap thereafter, the waltz.”
Miss Carshaw’s eyes flashed up to his but, after a moment, much to his relief, she gave him a small smile. When he offered her his arm, she took it at once and he led her away without any further conversation with Miss Pennington.
Silence followed for some minutes as Benjamin walked with Miss Carshaw near the edge of the room, so that they might be a little less surrounded by noise. Miss Carshaw said nothing, and whenever he so much as glanced at her, Benjamin was a little troubled to discover that she was not even looking in his direction. Tension began to flood through him, twisting his stomach left and right, until he could not wait any longer.
“Miss Carshaw.” Taking a breath, he looked down at her. “You must not go through with this if you do not wish to.” Her face looked up towards his and Benjamin reached across to pat her arm. “I am not doing it because I am under obligation to do so. I can understand that you might believe that circumstances have forced this, but I find myself glad that the betrothal has taken place – and under the circumstances, I think this is the wisest course of action. I am a gentleman who keeps to my promises, and I would be glad to continue on towards marriage, so long as you are contented to do so.”
His stomach dropped when Miss Carshaw shook her head.
“I do not think that my brother will permit this. I believe that he has already given my hand to Lord Bullfield.”
After a moment, his heart turned over in his chest, relief flooding him as he drew in a deep breath.
“In that regard, you need have no concern. Your brother has spoken to me already and attempted to encourage me away from you – but I have ignored his request. Besides which, we have been surrounded by well-wishers since our news broke through the ballroom and we cannot step away from it now – and your brother certainly cannot force it. I believe you may consider our betrothal secured.”
Benjamin smiled down at her and, after a few moments, Miss Carshaw’s expression changed entirely. Her eyes flew wide, swirling with smudges of olive green as her cheeks colored.
“Was he very angry with you?”
