“I’m so sorry about Paul.”
My voice choked with emotion as I realized I genuinely was sorry.The man had come into my life and offered nothing but help, and what had Eli and I offered in return?We’d left him with Hawkins and driven off into the unknown.
We abandoned him.
“It’s not your fault, little girl.”Eli’s fingers tightened on the steering wheel.“None of this is your fault.”
“I still feel bad.”I sniffed back the tears threatening to collect in my eyes.
Why amIcrying?
It wasn’t as though I was the one who’d known Paul all those years.I couldn’t miss a man I didn’t even know.
“Don’t.”He glanced my way quickly, the hand nearest me shifting to my knee and squeezing it lightly.“He was glad I found you.He wanted me to be happy.Wantedusto be happy.”
Us?
Was there truly an us?There was no doubt about the desire swimming between us, but after everything we’d been through, could there really be a future for us as a couple?
I hope so.My focus fell to watch his hand applying gentle pressure at my knee.I want that, don’t I?
There was no need to even ruminate on the question.I did want that, but the latest melancholy in our adventure had pushed our potential romance down the agenda.
“I would have liked to have got to know him.”
I wanted to ask Eli about the man I’d never know, wanted to know more about how the two of them had met, but that moment didn’t seem to be the right one to ask.
“I would have liked that too.”He released the words in one long sigh.“He was a great guy.”
Pain etched into his features when he turned my way, but not the physical sort I’d seen him recoil from in the recent past.The expression then spoke of emotional hurt, the kind he’d try to bury.There were no fast fixes for that hurt.That kind of pain lingered.
“Remember who the asshole is in this situation.”Resolve echoed in his voice as he looked back to the road.
Even though I longed to talk, I was thankful that was where his attention had returned.The ‘road’ was really little more than a farm-track, and it was eerily quiet.I half-expected to be ambushed at any moment, imagining the ghost of Hawkins laughing as either his men or the weather made us pay.
“It’s not you and me, little girl.”
“No, sir.”I closed my palm over his hand, pleased for the show of affection even as I pondered whether his hand would be better served on the wheel.“It’s Hawkins.”
“That’s right.”Eli’s jaw clenched.“It’s fucking Hawkins and you dealt with him.”
An involuntary gasp escaped my lips at the way he’d expressed that.
I did that.My throat dried.Ifired the gun.
“He might still have been alive when we left.”
I didn’t know why I’d chosen to press that agenda.Even if the moron had been alive then, unless someone had come to help him, he’d likely have bled to death.
“Maybe.”His tone was brooding.“But I hope he’s dead now.”
“Eli, don’t…” Yanking my hand from his, I turned away from his cold stare.
“It’s true,” he insisted.“He deserved to die, and you took care of the problem for me.I’m forever in your debt.”
How could he talk so callously?Whatever Hawkins had done, he was still a person.A man who must have had a family and people who loved him.Frowning, I tried to wrestle my disgust alongside my burgeoning feelings for Eli.
“I don’t really want the reminder of what I did, sir.”
