My entire dream wedding was on the line.
My life savings were at stake.
I’d poured months of planning into each and every detail until it was utter perfection—this was the wedding of mydreams.
As much as I wanted to throw all of that away for David… I couldn’t start a relationship with him with that hanging over me. Alphas just didn’t see beta women as marriage material. How could I ask him to marry me, when he was probably waiting for his scent match to come along and have her pheromones or whatever come to sweep him off his feet? How could I deny him what nature—what biology, what the demands of his own body required? No matter how much I wanted him, I would never be an omega. I would never be what he really needed.
So, as much as I wanted to throw all the social norms to the wind and just do what my heart wasbeggingme to do… I couldn’t.
It wouldn’t be fair to either of us.
“Right,” then I did take a sip… as if the alcohol in my glass had the power to change reality. If it could wash away all the reasons this just couldn’t work and let me just shoot my shot with him. “About two months ago, I walked in on my fiancé when he was having sex with some random woman.”
David put his glasses down sharply, as if he were ready to go find my cheating ex and make him pay for what he’d done to me. “Damn. I am so sorry. You didnotdeserve that.” Then under his breath David muttered, “What the hell was he thinking?”
“At that point, I had been planning the wedding for over a year.” I took a deep breath as I revealed my truth. “I put so much money into this wedding… and all the planning. It is… everything I have ever wanted. I’ve planned it out exactly how I’ve always imagined it.”
“You are still planning on getting married.” David saw how the dots fit together and connected them.
“I am. It has just been a struggle to find a replacement.”
“When’s the wedding?” David’s voice was no longer that delicious purr. It sounded strangled, like someone had squeezed all the sexy out of it… perhaps by mentioning their totally sane plan to get hitched A.S.A.P. rather than doing all the cancellations and losing a shit ton of money and planning—like a normal mature adult.
I don’t know what made this worse. Hearing all my hopes out loud, stated to someone who wasn’t family… thinking about how strange he must find all of it… or seeing the pained look on his face, as he realized I was looking for a man tomarry.
Right from the look on his face, I already knew—this was all too crazy for him.
Suddenly, I didn’t want to be here anymore.
“Right.” I gently placed the glass back on the table. I reached into my purse for a crisp twenty, dropping it on the table. The whole time refusing to meet his gaze—right now, I couldn’t look at him. “Thank you for the drink.” I tried and failed to smile, hoping it didn’t look as pained and awkward as it felt hanging there on my face. As my heart raced and every fiber of my being screamed at me to take back the words, to go after him.
No. I couldn’t do that. It didn’t matter how much I wanted him. From birth, my genetic code or whatever it was that determined designation made that choice for me.
Why did I think that any of this was a good idea? David and I… we weren’t anything. We were bartender and customer. Today was the first day that we had evenflirted.
But when I walked out the door of The Thirsty Pearl… why did I feel worse than when I dropped the ring on my cheating fiancé’s table? David and I were never even together, so why did it feel like I was breaking up with him?
CHAPTER 12
DAVID
It feltlike I was losing a woman that I’d never had to begin with. She was gorgeous, confident and everything I’d ever wanted—and I was never going to let her go without taking her on a single date… without ever pursuing her… without tasting those plush lips just one single time?
Why? Because she was getting married in four months.
It’s not that I’m opposed to marriage—I’m not.
Marriage was always something that I wanted, and it is really important to me that I make the right choices.
The problem was, I’d never even met a woman who I’d wanted to marry—not until Avril. She was everything that I never knew I wanted.
From the moment I saw her, I craved her.
But both of my parents had always made it clear that their relationship with one another had not been their first. Before getting together, my parents had each gotten a divorce. They had made it a point to drill into me that marriage wasn’t a joke, and that I should really know my partner before getting married.
Blah, blah, blah… marriage could lead to financial ruin and heartbreak… blah, blah, blah.
None of their advice applied to me because I was never once tempted to seriously pursue a girl. No omega or beta had ever caught my attention—until Avril.
