Roman’s hold on my hand tightens. He doesn’t like Walker much or Asher.Asher. I break my gaze from Walker and look around, but I don’t see Asher. Weren’t they supposed to be going to some Lakeview party? Some girl’s house? Not that I was listening earlier or even cared where he went at all. He can go to Melissa’s party if he wants to.
“I guess since you won’t tell me what the deal is with you three, I won’t tell you ifheis or isn’t here.” Walker smirks.
Fuck. Am I that obvious?
I take a step into Roman. He stiffens a little, but I don’t know if it’s from me touching him or what Walker just said.
“I wasn’t looking for him,” I say too late, and Walker just shakes his head and sighs.
“If you say so, Miss Mila. I’m gonna get some beer. You want anything?” Walker offers. He’s trying to be friendly with Roman, but when Roman doesn’t reply, I shake my head.
With a nod, he turns around and puts on that Walker charm thick. “Hey, ladies, who wants to do shots and play with my sword?”
A few girls bat their eyes at him and giggle. I let out a little snort when one wraps her arm around his waist. He glances back and winks at me. Then his eyes dart to something to the side of the house, and he lifts his chin in a nod.
I follow his gaze to a skeleton standing there in the dark. The light from the back porch shines just enough for me to know it’s Asher. Why’s he standing over there all alone? He gestures for me to come over to him. Is he serious?
“What does he want?” Roman growls low in my ear.
I shake my head and turn to look up at Roman, placing my hand very gently on his cheek. His eyes soften, and I know he’s only worked up because he cares about me.
But he doesn’t know what Asher said to me. I haven’t found the time to tell him and Hunter. Okay, that’s a lie. But how do you tell the two guys you love, that share you because you can’t choose between them, that your kind-of stepbrother admitted he has feelings, and you’ve worked out that you also have feelings for him, and it freaks you out?A lot.
“I don’t know or care what he wants.”
Roman grunts, and I know he can read right through that lie. I’m trying to tell myself that I don’t care, so I won’t think about Asher. It’s not working. I shake my head, and Roman’s lip tilts a little at the corner as he looks over my head toward Asher.
“Go see what he wants.” He lets go of my hand, and I turn, letting out a deep breath as I pull on the hem of my dress again. I hear the deep rumble from Roman and let go of the hem once more.
My fingers clenching into fists as I walk over to Asher on what feels like unsteady feet. It’s dark where he waits, not many people nearby, but Roman’s watching me. There’s no way he would have let me go here alone if he couldn’t see me.
“What are you doing here?” I left my phone in Hunter’s car. I just wanted to switch off for a while, but now I’m worried something happened and that’s why he’s here.
Asher’s eyes land on mine, and my heart races as butterflies dance in my belly. I haven’t looked at him in weeks. Okay, another lie. Might as well keep going. I have so many now, I’m starting to confuse what’s truth from fiction.
I’ve looked at him, trying to work out if the butterflies are real. I’ve only had butterflies for three people in my life…well, four.Grady. I experienced one little butterfly for him once, but that’s nothing compared to the ones I have for Asher. With Hunter and Roman, it’s very clear what I truly feel for them. Jace…his butterflies are still there, but there are less of them now. Hiding from the hurt.
Asher’s face is painted in shades of black, white, and gray. It looks unreal. His big, dark eyes move behind me, and he shifts his weight on his feet. It’s been a month since he told me he has feelings for me. Exactly to the day. He hasn’t been the same since. Hell, neither have I, but to be honest, I miss the old, flirty Asher. He was funny and confident and now he’s… well, this. Avoiding me and barely speaking a word to me. And I’ve been acting the same way.
“Asher? Are you okay?” I ask when he doesn’t answer me.
“No. Yes. Depends.” He looks at me, and I raise my eyebrows.
I’m not ready for him to tell me he has feelings for me again, so I hope that isn’t what this is about. I shake my hands out.Not now. There’s too much going on, and this is a huge complication. He can’t tell Hunter and Roman what he told me. I need to tell them both myself, and soon, because this secret is growing each day, and it’s going to mess up everything I’ve built with them.
“Asher?” I prod. Roman will only wait so long before he comes over here.
“Punishment.”
Fuck.I stand taller and look him right in the eye.
“Why do you need to punish yourself?” I feel like I’m torturing him every time I’m around, because that’s how it feels when he’s around me.
“Because I fucked up the one good thing I had, and I don’t know how to fix it. How to get back to what we had before. I want to take back what I said. I fucked up, and hurt you in the process. I miss you. What we had…I miss that. The laughter, the jokes. I didn’t realize how much I need you in my life until now. I’m sorry, Mila.”
My heart races. He’s sorry. He wants to take it back. This is a good thing. But how can we go back to the way we were? We can’t just switch this off. It happenedbecause ofwhat we had before. If we go back to that, it’s only going to grow and grow. Do I want that? No? Yes? Maybe?I don’t know.
“You don’t have feelings for me anymore?” I’m confused more than ever now.
