I take a quick shower and rub the dry towel over my body so quickly I’m more than sure I’m leaving behind marks. Not caring about the stinging of my irritated skin, I slide on my black slacks and slip on my button-down shirt.
By the time I get dressed and downstairs, my brother is standing by the door dressed and holding two cups of coffee in his hand.
“I left you some ibuprofen on the coffee table, and before you ask, the rings are in my pocket. And yes, I’m sure.” He hands me my cup of coffee and runs a hand through my wet hair, flattening it out. “Looks like we should be good to go.”
“Almost,” I say, walking over to the end table in the entryway, grabbing two yellow roses attached to pins and tossing one to my brother. “The finishing touch.”
Rhys knew yellow was my favorite color and thought it would be sweet for us to include things we both love into our ceremony. He chose the song by his favorite artist and I requested it be played by the piano, my favorite instrument. A little bit of me and a little bit of him. I’ve been playing for twenty years now and chose a close friend to play for our special day. I also prepared a little something special for him for the reception.
I take a few large gulps of my coffee until I can see the bottom of the white mug. Johnathan is already starting the car by the time I get done setting the empty cups in the sink. He doesn’t waste any time pulling out of the driveway after I slide into the passenger side. We have ten minutes to make it to the chapel. It was a place one of Rhys’s old friends, Ryan, told us about.
Ryan is some guy who Rhys recently reconnected with, saying he was a childhood friend. Even though my brother made some comments about the two of them, I’ve tried my best to ignore it because I trust Rhys and I’m the one marrying him today—not Ryan.
As soon as we get to the chapel, I run out of the parking lot towards a side door. My brother shouts back at me. “Hold on, the chapel entrance is over there man. That way takes you out to the garden. I’m going to grab something from the car, and I’ll meet you there.”
I turn around, heading in the right direction this time, and that’s when I see him, the man I'm marrying in twenty minutes, in the passenger side of a red car. My heart skips a beat knowing he’s near.
As I get closer, my smile drops. He’s not alone—his friend Ryan is on the driver’s side. Did he pick him up from Molly’s? Or maybe they both got here early, and Rhys slipped in his car to chat while he waited. A million different scenarios run through my mind and none of them stop my heart from sinking. Neither of them notices me standing here watching. They’re too busy being wrapped up in each other like they’re the only two people in the world. I’m out here, staring at Rhys like he’s the only thing in this world that matters, and he’s in a car with someone else, staring at them the same way. Their lips press together in a desperate kiss and the pain in my chest is too heavy for me to breathe. I stand there, not wanting to believe my eyes as I feel my heart break in two.
“There you are,” Gloria, one of Rhys’s cousins, shouts, carrying the skirt of her dress in her hands. “What is going on with your hair?” She runs her fingers through it and I’m trying hard to get one more glance at my fiancé and his friend, but she’s making it impossible for me to turn my head. “Don’t worry, we still have time. Come on, we need to have you walking down that aisle in fifteen minutes.”
I follow her into what looks like a storage room with a mirror and vanity, trying my best to forget what I saw. I’m sure that Rhys still loves me, and he says our love can overcome anything, but can it really overcome this? It has to be some kind of misunderstanding. Gloria grabs the brush and runs it through my hair while Rosie, Rhys’s other cousin, comes to straighten out my tie and fix the buttons on my suit.
“Perfect,” Gloria and Rosie say at the same time before straightening out the flower in my pocket. “Come on, let’s go get you hitched!”
I let Gloria tug me toward the chapel, trying not to think about Rhys sitting in the car in close proximity to some guy from his past, who I now believe was more than just a friend to him after watching them kiss. A part of me still hopes I'm wrong.
Everyone is sitting in black foldout chairs decorated in yellow and white roses—a little bit of Rhys and a little bit of me. When we were picking wedding colors, I gave him a hard time about his favorite being white, reminding him it's not even a color. He’d tried so hard to prove me wrong, and, to show how much I loved him, I let him win the argument.
I walk toward the front up to where my brother is waiting with a nervous smile on his face. Before I can reach him, a hand lands on my arm, causing me to stop walking. Molly's eyes are watering and sympathetic. “I'm so sorry, Jamie.” She hands me a note. “Rhys asked me to give you this.”
Every last shred of hope I had is lost as I unfold the piece of paper, taking in each word on the page. He wrote me a letter. I knew the moment Molly slid that note between my fingers that it wasn't going to be a love letter. My heart nearly stops in my chest after reading over it three times. I suddenly feel a rush to my head, on the verge of passing out from the few sentences written on the paper in front of me.
I can't. I'm sorry. Please don't hate me.
Rhys
I ball the paper in my fist and can't stop the burning anger from rising within me. How could he do this to me, and with a note no less? Rhys and I never handled delicate matters this way. We told each other exactly what we felt when we felt it.
When I look toward the rows of people who came here to watch me marry the love of my life, the whole room spins and there's a loud ringing noise in my head. I walk down the aisle, away from my brother and the judge, staring straight ahead and completely numb. I don't know where I'm going. All I know is that I need to get the hell out of here. The humiliation on top of the heartbreak is enough to bring me to my knees.
4
Taylor
A ragingheadache from drinking too much last night has me opening my eyes to bright blinding light. I knew I shouldn't have stayed after shift and had those four shots with Luca, but I wasn't ready to go home and face my failing relationship. I didn't even know if Tony would be coming over like he said, or if he would cancel for the second time in a row, saying he was swamped with work.
I went the rest of the night without checking my phone because I didn't want to know the answer. Looks like another one bites the dust. This relationship lasted three months—that's a record. Maybe next time I can make the half year mark. I don't even have to look at the other side of my bed to know it's empty. I get up and walk to the shower, ignoring the way the cold floor makes my feet cramp.
The hot water washes over me as I close my eyes, hoping the warmth will help ease my aching muscles. Luca is right, I need a day off, but it won't help my sleeping issues. I'll still be awake but at home, staring up at the ceiling, begging sleep to take me. After getting dry and dressed into a pair of sweats, I throw on a long sleeve shirt I won from some radio station years ago. I typically get dressed at work before going on stage and wear something more casual on the way there.
My reflection in the mirror is one I don't recognize. The bags under my eyes are more profound and I'm not sure drops will be enough to clear the redness in my them today. I try my best to hide my exhaustion with makeup. No one pays attention to my eyes when I'm on stage anyway. Caffeine is the real answer to my problems. I live and breathe the stuff to keep me from feeling sluggish from the lack of sleep.
My coffee machine is brewing while I fry a few eggs in a pan and pop some bread in the toaster. At least I'm eating somewhat decent today. Most of the time I grab a Pop Tart or a Fruit Roll-Up and wait until lunch time to eat again. My phone goes off, and I don't have to look at it to know it's Tony spewing more bullshit.
Tony: I'm sorry baby, I got stuck late at the office again.
Me: You got stuck at the office or inside Randy?
