The lesson goes by quicker than I expect it to, and I get wrapped up in taking notes from the slides Jamie runs through after he finishes his introduction speech. I'm glad to be past the part where we all say our names and one random fact about ourselves. Not every teacher does it, but a few of them have and Jamie was one of them. I never saw the point in doing it and I always forget half the class's names and what they said by the time we get to the last person. Thankfully Jamie's gaze didn't stay on me for too long when it got to be my turn, but I couldn't help wishing it had. Every time his eyes would linger on me, it was like I was the only person in the world and the only person he saw. Even if it was all in my head, it was nice to pretend for a little bit.
I did everything I could to try to get him to look at me. Walking past him to go to the bathroom, missing the trash can by his desk on purpose, and even using his sharpener on my already sharpened pencil. Part of me hates him treating me like everyone else in the class. I have to keep reminding myself that hooking up with the guy one time doesn’t make me more special than anyone else in the room.
My eyes are so focused on the clock that I don't hear the last thing Jamie says, but everyone rushing out of their seats tells me he dismissed the class a few minutes early. I wait until the other students leave the room and the only ones left are Jamie and me. He’s too focused on a stack of papers on his desk to notice me walking his way. “So, Professor, I guess we no longer get to be strangers. At least we’re even now. We both know where the other works.”
He smiles uncomfortably and I hate that I made him react that way. Just a couple of weeks ago he seemed so comfortable around me and it felt like we’d known each other for years.
“Yeah, look Taylor, I uh...it's really nice to see you again, but I think we both know it's probably a good idea we keep this professional between us. What happened before can never happen again and shouldn't be mentioned to anyone.” He pushes his glasses up his nose. “In fact, it's best we forget it happened all together.”
I ignore the twisting in my gut. This man is not the same person I met two weeks ago. The energy between us is all wrong and nothing like the way it was before. “Yeah, of course. You didn't think I came over here to proposition you or something, did you? Did you think I would lock the classroom door and beg you to take me on the desk?”
He swallows so hard his Adam's apple bobs in his throat. His mouth opens and closes, and he grabs the papers off his desk, shoving them in his briefcase. “Um...I should probably get ready for my next class, but you have a good rest of your day. Make sure to read over chapter one before next week and from now on please only come to me if you have questions and concerns regarding the class material.”
I'm glad the semester began on a Thursday. I only have to deal with being around him one day this week. “Yeah, okay. See you next week, Professor.”
His smile is forced again, and his eyes don't meet mine as he walks past me toward the open door. My heart sinks in my chest from the cold interaction. As much as I don't want to, I'll have to learn to accept that I really am just like everyone else. The only thing that separates me from the rest of the class is the one thing he wishes to forget.
I exit the classroom, heading the opposite direction of him to the admissions office to fill out a form to drop the class. There's no way I can stare at him for a whole three months and pretend I never had his cock buried deep inside me or I never slept beside him in his bed.
9
Jamie
I wakeup to the bright sunlight streaming through my window, regretting staying up late reading last night. I was so stuck in my head; I needed an escape and diving into a good book always helps with that. I don't remember when I fell asleep, but it must have been while I was reading because my lamp is still on and my book is laying on top of my chest.
Yawning, I close the book after sliding in my bookmark and tuck it under my pillow, something Rhys always hated. Something I no longer have to worry about, but I still can't help but miss him getting on me about the small stuff. At least then I mattered enough for him to care.
No one cares if I drink out of the milk jug now, or if I leave my wet towels on the floor.
I throw my covers to the side and slide out of bed. I can skip a shower this morning; I decided to take one at two a.m. afterrealizing I couldn't keep my eyes closed for more than five minutes.
I only have one class to teach today and I'm so glad it's Friday. I'm not looking forward to next week. I just want to enjoy the weekend hanging out with my brother and some of my friends from my old job, even though I know none of this will stop me from thinking about Taylor.
The way I treated him yesterday still gnaws at my stomach, leaving me unsettled. I had to look away from him when I said words I wish I didn't have to, because I knew I would immediately take them back if I caught a glimpse of sadness or rejection in his eyes. It was hard enough hearing the perkiness leave his voice.
As I'm washing my face, my phone beeps with a notification. I dry my face and brush my teeth, wincing at the strong taste of toothpaste in my mouth so early in the morning. I walk to my closet and get dressed in a pair of gray slacks and a black long sleeve dress shirt.
The loud buzzing of my phone has me grabbing it off the nightstand, noticing the notification is for an email from the university. It's a request to drop my class. Who could be dropping so early in the semester? My heart squeezes when I recognize the name of the student. Taylor Jenson. My vision goes blurry and I'm having a hard time moving from the spot I stand in. Instead of responding to the email when I can move my hands again, I send a message to Taylor's inbox. I can't let him drop out of class because of me. Based on his major, he needs this class, and this could put him behind. I won't be the reason for him having to take on more than he has to next semester. After I send the message, I go back to reading it again.
Taylor,
I just got your request to drop my class today. Please reconsider before doing so. I would like you to meet me in my office before class on Tuesday before I approve your drop. Hope to see you next week and enjoy your weekend.
Jamie
Shoving my phone in my pocket, I walk downstairs with a rumbling stomach. I don't feel the need to eat much this morning. I rarely have more than an egg and toast for breakfast. Today, I settle for a protein bar, banana, and a large cup of coffee in my travel mug.
It's a bit warmer outside than it was yesterday. At least that's one less day I have to defrost my car. I freeze when I notice a box full of stuff on my porch with a note attached. The handwriting is familiar and the closer I walk the more Rhys’s name stands out at the bottom. I snatch the note off the box and pull my glasses out of my pocket, sliding them on.
J,
I accidently took some of your things and found a few more in my car. I thought you may want them back and I didn't want to bother you, so I left them outside your house.
Rhys
I ball my fist tightly around the note, clenching my jaw, and I ignore the box, walking straight to my car. I don't even wait for it to fully warm up before pulling out of the driveway. There are so many things wrong with this letter. Everything about it leaves me feeling hollow inside.
He didn't even bother to hand me these things in person. Leaving that box on the porch the way he did is something only a coward would do. Then he called it my house when we had purchased it together and put both our names on it. The walls are painted the colors he wanted, the kitchen tile is the pattern he chose, and the green couches are the ones he bought—alone. I always hated the blue floral living room curtains and the pendant light fixtures that hang from the ceiling. I despise them even more now.
