My eyes felt swollen and gritty as I opened them and peeked out at the morning. I’d barely slept the night before, tossing and turning, plagued by bad dreams that would jolt me awake, only to pull me back under when I remembered that they were real. I felt bad waking Oliver with my restlessness, but he never complained, he just wrapped his arms around me and would rub his fingers up and down my back in soothing patterns until I started to doze again.
I took the time to stare at him, drinking him in and reveling in how gorgeous he looked first thing in the morning. He lay facing me on the bed, still sound asleep; his hair all mussed, lines on his cheek from being pressed against his pillow and his long lashes fanning over his cheeks. Even without a stitch of makeup on or his hair professionally styled, he was the most exquisite-looking man I’d ever seen.
My phone chirped from somewhere in the room. Trying not to wake him, I rolled over and climbed out of bed. Sometime in the night, Oliver must have gotten up and folded my clothes for me. He’d even found an extra charger and put my phone on it. I looked over my shoulder at his sleeping form and my heart swelled with emotions. I had no idea what I could’ve done in my life to be lucky enough to find a man as thoughtful as Oliver, but now that I had, I never wanted to let him go. We needed to talk, and soon. I needed to know if he felt for me even half the things that I was feeling for him. But that would have to wait for another time.
I pulled my phone off the charger, sure the text was going to be from Gayle. Knowing her, she would’ve been up bright and early, formulating a plan for getting our daughter to listen. So, I was shocked when the name on the screen popped up as My Girl, the name I’d assigned to Brooklyn’s contact information.
My Girl:I’d like to talk.
My heart pounded wildly against my ribs as I read over her words and then I read them again, just to be sure. She wanted to talk. My hands were shaking as I typed out a reply.
Me:I’d love to. When and where?
My Girl:Ellington Park in an hour? I’ll meet you by the playground.
Me:I’ll be there. And thank you. I love you.
She sent a single red heart back. It wasn’t much, but at least she hadn’t just ignored my “I love you.” Checking the time, I quickly pulled on my clothes and shoes then crept over to the bed and knelt down beside it. Oliver had rolled over but was still sound asleep. That’s what happens when you keep him awake all night with your tossing and turning, I thought guiltily. I hated to wake him up now that he was finally getting some rest, but I also didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye. I reached over and brushed his bangs out of his face. His lashes fluttered as his eyes drifted open and he gave me a warm, sleep-softened smile.
“You okay?” he whispered, stretching his hand out from under the covers to cup my cheek. I circled my hand around his wrist and turned my face into his hand, so I could place a kiss in the center of his palm.
“I’m fine, thanks to you. I’m sorry to wake you, but I need to go. Brooklyn texted me and she wants to talk.”
“She does?” he asked, both his eyes and his smile widening.
“Yeah. So, I need to get going. I don’t want to be late.”
“Of course. Go! Call me later and let me know how it goes, okay? Or…you could stop by if you want to. I have a few errands to run but other than that, I’ll be here,” he said sweetly.
“Thank you. And thank you for last night. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.” I leaned down and kissed him, letting my lips convey everything I was feeling. When I pulled back, Oliver’s eyes were unfocused, and he was breathing a little heavier than before.
“Try and get some more sleep,” I whispered, but his eyes were already starting to drift shut again. Smiling, I stood up and left the room. I turned the lock on his front door knob and then pulled it closed behind me.
I raced home and took a quick shower, brushed my teeth, and put on a clean outfit before heading back out to my car. Somehow, I doubted it would help the situation with my daughter for me to show up in the same clothes as the night before, regardless of the fact that nothing had happened.
As I drove to the park, I wondered what would happen once I saw Brooklyn. She’d said she wanted to talk, not that she was willing to listen. Maybe she’d just asked me there, so she could tell me that she no longer wanted me to be a part of her life. My chest tightened as I even considered that scenario. I’d like to think that it wasn’t a possibility, but at that point, I really wasn’t sure.
I think that was one of the hardest things for me about the entire situation. The distance between me and Brooklyn. She’d always wanted to spend time with me while she was growing up, but there had also never been anything we couldn’t say to each other. She’d always been able to talk to me about a boy at school who liked her or if her feelings had been bruised by one of her friends. Most of the time I could read her moods or tell what she was thinking just by looking at her, but if someone asked me right then what the outcome of this meeting would be, I’d have to answer with an “I don’t know.”
I pulled onto park property and slowed the car to the required ten miles per hour. It was a beautiful morning and the sun was shining. People were out taking advantage of the nice weather, but I didn’t pay them any attention as I pulled into a spot near the playground and searched the area for my daughter. After a few seconds, I spotted her. She was standing with her arms wrapped around herself, staring at a group of children who were busy playing in a sandbox.
I reached into the back seat and grabbed the jacket I’d brought with me in case I got cold then I climbed out of the car. She turned as I approached and my heart ached at the puffy look to her eyes and the dark smudges on the delicate skin underneath. I gave her a small smile and held out the jacket.
“You looked like you might be cold,” I said.
She stared at me for a second as if she were trying to figure something out then she stepped closer and slid her arms into the sleeves while I held it open for her. “Thank you,” she murmured. She stepped away again and stared at the ground, like she wasn’t sure what to do next.
“Would you like to take a walk around the lake?” I suggested.
She gave me a relieved look. “Yeah, okay.” I followed her as we went around the children building sandcastles and a guy who was tossing a frisbee to his German Shepherd.
We were silent as we stepped onto the concrete path that circled the lake and slowly began making our way around. It wasn’t exactly awkward between us, but it definitely wasn’t as effortless as our time spent together usually was. I wanted to jump in, rattling off anything at all to get the ball rolling, but she was the one who had asked to meet, and I owed it to her to let her take her time and figure out what she wanted to say. We were about halfway around when she finally spoke.
“I’m sorry I ran out last night. I just needed some time to sort things out in my head.”
“You don’t need to apologize. I’m sure it all came as quite a shock.”
She shoved her hands down into the pockets of my jacket. “There’s so much I just don’t get,” she said, her face scrunching up.
