“I know things like this can be hard.” Dr. Mulaney sounds far off, but I struggle to focus on her words through the haze of panic. “I’m here to help you, hon. There are options.”
Options.My mind clings to that, bringing me out of my spiral.
“What do you mean?”
“There’s a clinic that I can send you to if you want to keep the baby,” she says quietly, scooting closer so she can rest her hand on top of mine soothingly. “Or I can prescribe you something if you don’t.”
Horror rockets through me at the very thought, and I yank my hand away from her to press it protectively against my stomach. I never thought I’d have kids so early, but I’ve always wanted at least two. This isn’t how I planned it, but I’d never forgive myself if I just… got rid of it.
“No.” I shake my head vehemently. “No, I—I’m not aborting. I’m keeping it.”
“I figured,” she says with a soft smile, patting my knee before leaving back. “Do you want me to help you talk to your mom about it? I know it can be scary to tell?—”
“Don’t tell Mom!” I cut her off, panic spiking again. No one can know about this, not until I figure out what to do. Not until I can talk to Bennett. “You can’t. Please, promise me you won’t.”
She shakes her head and holds her hands up innocently. “I won’t say a word if you don’t want me to,” she promises. “Doctor-patient confidentiality. I just wanted to offer a helping hand if you needed it. But Maggie?”
I finally meet her eyes, shaking from head to toe with barely restrained anxiety.
“What?”
“I’ve known you and your whole family since you were a kid,” she says, a gentle scolding in her voice. “This isn’t something you should try to keep to yourself. It’ll just hurt everyone in the long run. Your parents will support you, you just have to talk to them.”
I nod, but we both know I’m not going to listen to her. This isn’t something they’ll have my back on. Not with how strained everything is anyway.
Hell, even the thought of telling Penny has me shaking in terror.
“Take some time to calm down, okay? You can stay in here until your mom comes back to pick you up. Don’t worry about checking out, I’ll have Brooke handle it.”
I hardly even hear her as she leaves the room, my whole world spinning in reverse as I struggle to keep panic from overflowing. I have to keep my head on straight until I can be alone. Once I start really freaking out, I won’t be able to stop. The minutes tick by too fast for my liking, and Mom texts me that she’s outside before I’ve even gotten my breathing back under control.
I shove the paperwork into my bag and stand on weak legs, keeping my eyes on the ground as I shoulder my way out of the lobby doors. The trip out to the car happens in a blur, and I stay quiet while fumbling with my seatbelt, my fingers still numb with shock and fear.
“So?” Mom asks, arching a brow at the tense silence coating me. “Will you live?”
Me, plus one, I think bitterly.
“We’re waiting on test results.” The lie slips out easily, but Mom doesn’t make any move to pull out of the parking lot. I glance over to see her studying me, a worried frown creasing her brow. “She said it’s probably just a cold, told me to get some sleep and stay hydrated.”
Mom hums, finally looking away from me and pulling out onto the road. We spend the drive home in silence, not even the soft hum of the radio to fill the air between us. It’s better that way because I can’t hear anything over the pound of my pulse in my ears. My panic mounts with every second, visions of Dad’s reaction and raising a child on my own flashing across my eyes every time I blink. I can’t do this alone, but what choice do I have? I can’t get in touch with Bennett, and it’s not like I can just go search all of fucking Texas for him. If I knew his address…
Well.
Idon’t know his address, but I’m sure Dad has it on file somewhere. He worked on the ranch, after all. There must be some sort of documentation.
The thought puts a damper on some of my mounting anxiety, and I focus all of my energy on the thought of finding Bennett. If he won’t make it easy on me, I’ll have to do whatever it takes.
The second we pull to a stop in front of the house, I mumble something about needing the bathroom to Mom before rushing into the house. The stairs creak loudly under my weight, but I take them two at a time, focused exclusively on getting to Dad’s office.
I damn near run down the hallway until I reach his office, and I don’t wait before tossing the door open. He’s not in there, thank fuck, probably still wrapped up in something on the ranch, but I know I need to be quick.
I don’t have any excuse to be in here, and I can’t afford to have anyone figure out my plan.
Hell,Ihaven’t even really figured out my plan. I just know I need to get to Bennett. Everything else will fall into place however it’s supposed to.
Dad’s files are half-organized at best, and I have to rifle through more than I want to before I finally find Bennett’s. Thank God he’s the old fashioned type, it would’ve beena nightmare trying to get into his computer. Most of the information is useless—I don’t care about his work history or why he wants to work on the ranch—but right at the top of the first page is what I’m here for. His address.
Guess I’m going to Lubbock, wherever the hell that is.
