She perched herself on the sofa, thinking of all the times they’d lain in each other’s arms, either just relaxing or revelling in exploring each other’s bodies. She shivered and tried to pullherself back into the present. Daniel sat down in the chair opposite.
They stared at each other for a moment and then simultaneously said, ‘I’m sorry.’
They laughed. It helped to break the ice.
‘I’m sorry for leaving the way I did,’ she said. ‘It was cowardly. I did it because I was afraid that, if I stayed to say goodbye, you’d talk me out of it. Says it all really, doesn’t it?’
‘I understand why you left and I’m sorry too. The way Lucinda and her friends treated you was horrible, but I should have done more to put a stop to it or to support you.’
‘It’s okay, I understand.’
‘No, I don’t think you do. Let me explain.’ He took a deep breath. ‘Despite her looks, despite the hard front she puts on, deep down Lucinda is very insecure.’
From the Lucinda she’d seen, Anna didn’t think she looked insecure at all, but she kept her thoughts to herself as he continued.
‘She had a difficult pregnancy, she was sick as a dog for most of it, not just the first few months like most women, and then when she had Ben she didn’t bond. No one realised at the time that she was ill, postnatal depression, and so she wasn’t treated. She had a breakdown and refused to look after Ben at all. When we finally got her to a doctor and started on the medication, everything changed, but she’s never got over her guilt about not bonding with him at the beginning. And then she became overprotective towards him, pushing everyone away from her, including me. My way of dealing with it was to bury myself in work, so you can see how it would have become a downward spiral. For a long time I’ve blamed myself for not seeing what was happening and not doing anything to stop them from leaving.’
‘I can see that’s why you’re sensitive around her.’
‘We’d been rubbing along fairly well, until you. I’d never really got involved with anyone since she left. Not in any meaningful way, so when she saw you she got scared.’
‘But she’s in a relationship herself.’
‘Yes, but it’s not working out.’
‘So, she decided she wanted you back?’ Despite his empathy with his ex, Anna still couldn’t feel it. These were the actions of a spoiled child, not someone she could relate to.
‘I can see that’s what it looks like. She’s not resilient like you. She’d never had to be on her own and she was scared. And then there was the way Ben reacted to you. You’re so natural with him and you took to each other instantly. It brought back all her insecurities about being a mother, and she thought he’d end up loving you more than her.’
Anna gasped. ‘But that’s not possible! And even if it was, I’d never let that happen. She’s his mum.’
‘I know that, you know that, and even Ben knows that, but it took her a while to see it.’
‘And she does now?’
‘Yes. She’s admitted how horrible she was to you. Ben running away has really opened her eyes.’
‘I don’t suppose it helped that he ran to me.’
‘Initially, no, but Ben explained that it was more about us arguing. You were the only other person he felt he could trust. We had a long chat yesterday and everyone now knows where they stand.’
‘Well, that’s good.’ Anna hoped she’d managed to keep the bitterness out of her voice. She was glad that they were all sorted, but where did that leave her?
‘I realise I didn’t support you enough. It wasn’t because I had any feelings for her, but I was trying not to rock the boat. For Ben’s sake.’
‘Yes, I think I always understood that,’ Anna said quietly. ‘But it’s really hard to be stuck in the middle. I’m not great at trusting people, especially after Mark, and I needed to protect myself.’
‘And so you should. But it’s not like that anymore.’
‘Isn’t it?’
‘No. Lucinda is genuinely sorry for the way she behaved towards you, and also grateful that you were here for Ben, despite the circumstances.’
‘Whatever happens, I’ll always be here if Ben needs me.’
‘Thank you. Anyway, she’s decided she needs to try some counselling to help her unravel her feelings, and, although I don’t think you’ll ever be besties, I think things will be a lot easier now. That’s if . . .’ He paused. ‘If you’ll agree to give me another chance?’
At those words she was so tempted to rush into his arms, but Lucinda wasn’t the only obstacle in their way.
