‘I do too. I think we need to look to the future, not the past. Right now, Jack needs our support, not recriminations or guilt.’
He nodded slowly. ‘Yes, I think you’re probably right.’
And so they had both attended the court hearing where, as the solicitor had predicted, Jack had been remanded in custody until sentencing.
Anna shifted uncomfortably on the bench. At least, as he was pleading guilty, he wouldn’t have to wait for a trial before he found out his fate. The one good thing about all this was that Jack had promised to send them both visiting orders. While the prospect of visiting him in prison terrified her, at least now they had a hope of mending the rift in their family. So, right now, her life was here, where she could once more support her family.
Thinking about families reminded her of Ben, and the prospect of never seeing him again brought a sob to her throat. For now, though, until he’d gone back home, she’d just have to put her big-girl pants on, and pretend she hadn’t heard the conversation that had shattered her happiness.
* * *
Daniel was still in the kitchen when she arrived back, but there was no trace of anyone else having been there.
‘Hey! You’ve been gone ages. I was beginning to think you’d got lost.’
‘Sorry, it just took me longer than I’d expected to find everything I needed.’
They were planning a Chinese banquet for tonight, Ben’s favourite. Daniel had suggested they order a takeaway, but Anna had wanted to cook things herself, to show Ben the effort she wanted to make for him.
‘And you’ve got everything?’
‘Yep. So I want you out of the kitchen. I need to be alone to produce a gastronomic masterpiece.’
‘Fair enough. Have you got time for a coffee first?’
‘Sure.’ She wondered if he was going to talk to her about Lucinda’s visit. She began to put the shopping away as a form of distraction. ‘What have you been up to this morning?’
‘Nothing much. Working mainly. I’ve just taken a break now.’
He was lying to her. At the very least by omission. She opened the fridge so she had her back to him. He wouldn’t see her blinking back tears.
‘Productive day?’ She hoped her voice didn’t sound as strangulated to him as it did to her.
‘Not really.’ He put the coffee down on the breakfast bar. ‘I’d better get back to it, I suppose. Give me a shout if you need help with anything.’
‘Sure.’ She shut the fridge door, but in the empty kitchen she was still cold.
* * *
Daniel felt like such a coward fleeing from the kitchen like that. When Anna had come back he’d had every intention oftelling her about Lucinda’s visit but, when it came down to it, he just couldn’t find the words. How could he explain to Anna what had taken place that morning when he couldn’t make sense of it himself?
Looking back at the week, Lucinda had certainly been round a lot more than she usually was. Lingering whenever she dropped Ben off or picking him up, and inviting Daniel in whenever he did the same. But he had put it down to the fact that she was in London, out of her comfort zone, and with Axel working he’d assumed she was lonely. And he’d felt sorry for her. He knew how much she hated London, and had even wondered why she’d come to stay in the first place. But he’d been glad of the opportunity to see Ben on his home turf.
Daniel thought about Anna as he tried and failed to work. He should have come clean with her. Told her about Lucinda suggesting they get back together again, but that he’d turned her down. He’d lied by saying the only thing he’d been doing that morning was working — he hated lies. She didn’t deserve that, especially as she was in the kitchen preparing a meal for Ben on his last night in London. She was so good with Ben and that made him love her all the more. Love. He’d never told her, but now he had to admit to himself that he was in love with her. And the last thing he wanted to do was to hurt her. He’d noticed how she seemed to go into her shell whenever Lucinda was around. He also couldn’t fail to see how Lucinda eyed Anna with daggers, making barbed comments about her whenever Ben was out of earshot. Slowly Anna was growing in confidence, and he knew that if she found out Lucinda had tried to get back with him, even if he’d turned her down, it would knock her. Anna found it difficult to trust and in her mind it would cast doubt on their relationship. On the other hand, he didn’t want this to come between them. He would tell her, he decided, but not today. Not when Lucinda would be dropping Ben off later, and they’d bespending his last night with his son. Tomorrow, he decided — he would tell her tomorrow. And he’d try to do it in such a way that she knew she could trust him and had nothing to fear from his ex-wife.
* * *
‘Oh, wow, Anna, have you really done all this for me?’ Ben’s face was a picture when she showed him the food set out on the dining table. That was worth every second of her toiling in the kitchen. As she’d worked, she’d tried to push the thought of Daniel and Lucinda to the back of her mind. It kept popping to the surface, but she told herself to ignore it. Tonight was about Ben and that was all that mattered. Tomorrow she would confront Daniel about what had actually happened this morning, but, for now, she would concentrate on the present.
‘Yes, I did do all this for you, because I know how much you enjoy your Chinese. These are just the starters, so let’s tuck in before they go cold.’
All through the evening she kept looking at Ben, trying to remember the features of his face, locking in the memory of the three of them together. She feared it could be the last time she’d see him.
After they’d finished eating, the three of them settled onto the enormous sofa in Daniel’s living room and watchedHotel Transylvania, Ben’s favourite film. If this had been a normal night she’d probably have felt utterly content. But tonight it was bittersweet. It was all she could do to blink back the tears and force a smile onto her face.
From time to time she caught Daniel staring at her with a puzzled expression. Was he wondering what was the matter? Or did he know this might be the last time they would spend time like this? It was almost a relief when Daniel announced it was time for Ben to go to bed. She offered to take him upand afterwards went to bed herself. When Daniel came up, she feigned sleep. He didn’t attempt to wake her up.
* * *
