Anna’s mouth dropped open in shock at Lucinda’s words — she found that she couldn’t move.
‘Lucinda, I—’
‘Please just hear me out. I know we couldn’t make it work before, but a lot of water has gone under the bridge since then. I’m much happier now. Going back home has given me the stability I never had when I was here. It was the location that got in our way before. But now that you’re not so focused onliving here, we could make it work together in Cheshire, with you coming back to London when you need to.’
‘Lucinda—’
‘Think about it. It would be so much better for Ben to have us under one roof rather than being shipped from pillar to post every other weekend.’
Lucinda paused when Daniel remained silent, and Anna could only assume he was considering her proposal. When he didn’t reply, Lucinda continued.
‘We had such a good time together the other week, just the three of us. Imagine that happening every day.’
Anna felt sick. He hadn’t mentioned anything about the three of them spending time together when she wasn’t there. But then of course he wouldn’t, would he? Unable to face hearing his reply, Anna left her shopping bags in the hallway and fled.
* * *
At first, all he could think about was living back with Ben again. Not having to spend only every other weekend with him, but be involved in his life on a daily basis. But that, of course, came with a price. He’d loved Lucinda once, a long time ago. Over the years he’d taken off the rose-tinted glasses and begun to see her for what she was. Needy, for one. Highly strung for another. And her mood swings were phenomenal. When he’d lived with her, he’d never known what he’d be coming home to. A lot of that had been due to hormones, both pregnancy and postnatal, but he could still see it in her now, the need to always have her own way. There was no such thing as compromise in Lucinda’s book. Did he really want to go back to that?
And then he thought of Anna and the relationship he had with her. Theirs was a truly equal partnership. They understood each other, could talk to each other, were interested in the same things. And she went out of her way to make him happy, as hedid her. Anna was easy-going and she was beautiful on the inside and out. Did he want to swap that for living with Lucinda? The honest answer was a definite ‘no’, even if it meant not living with his son.
‘Lucinda, I . . .’ Daniel hesitated, knowing that the words he used now could change everything. She would expect him to jump at this opportunity and wouldn’t like being turned down. If he got it wrong, it could jeopardise his flexible access to Ben. ‘I’m very flattered by you asking me. And it would be great to spend more time with Ben. But . . .’ He paused. ‘But I don’t think getting back together would work. You know we drive each other crazy, and if we tried and it didn’t work out, that would really hurt Ben.’
‘You’re turning me down?’ Her voice was full of steel.
‘I am. But only because I think it’s the right thing to do. We nearly destroyed each other before. It took me so long to get over you and I suspect it was the same for you. I couldn’t bear to hurt you or be hurt like that again.’
‘I see. And here’s me thinking that’s what you wanted. You’ve certainly made it seem like that recently.’
‘I’m sorry if you think I’ve misled you. That was never my intention.’
‘You’d prefer to keep your little photographer girl, would you?’
‘It’s not about Anna. It’s about us.’
‘Well, have it your way. I’ll bring Ben over later and he can spend his last night with you. But we’re leaving first thing in the morning, so he’d better be ready.’
She turned on her heel and stalked off down the hallway towards the front door. On one hand, that had gone better than he’d been expecting, but still, he thought as the door slammed behind her, he didn’t think this was the last he’d hear of it.
* * *
Anna wandered aimlessly until she found herself beside Hyde Park. She walked in, found the nearest bench and sat down. She could scarcely believe what she’d just heard. Was there a chance that Daniel and Lucinda would get back together? She wondered if she should have stayed to hear his answer, then she would’ve known for certain. But that moment’s hesitation had told her he was at least thinking about it. Or perhaps he was just in shock. She wanted to believe that. But she kept remembering how Lucinda had said they’d spent time together when she wasn’t there. And Daniel hadn’t told her. Surely if there was nothing in it, he would have mentioned it to her? From now on, whenever he was in Cheshire without her, would she be wondering whether he was with Lucinda? The mother of his child. They’d be a family again. The three of them. Daniel could be the parent he wanted to be. If Daniel and Lucinda could make it work a second time around, it would be the perfect solution.
Of course it would crucify her. The thought of not having him in her life produced a stabbing pain in her chest. But she loved him so much she couldn’t bear for him not to be happy. And so she decided that, if that’s what he chose, she wouldn’t stand in his way. Her life was here in London. Her career was taking off. She had her next exhibition coming up and Eva’s Instagram was such a success. Eva was thinking of writing a book, using Anna’s photographs to illustrate it. Anna could certainly keep herself busy. And then there was her family — especially Jack.
Anna had managed to convince Jack that their father needed to know what had happened before the court hearing. She’d wanted Jack to be the one to tell him, but it had been impossible from his police cell, so she had been the one to break the news. Of course, her father had been devastated, and he’d blamed himself for throwing Jack out of the house.
‘You couldn’t have known it would come to this,’ she’d said in an effort to reassure him.
‘I knew the way he was going, I should have tried harder to help him, not turn my back on him.’
‘I doubt he would have listened to you then.’ She paused. ‘I know it might not seem like it now, but this could be a good thing for him in the long run.’
‘How on earth do you make that out?’
‘I only spoke to him briefly on the phone, but he was a different Jack. I think this has been a real wake-up call for him. He’s hit rock bottom and now the only way is back up.’
‘I hope you’re right.’ Her father didn’t sound convinced.
