‘Roe,’ Eddie roared over her. ‘I didn’t mean “how did you do it”. I meant howcouldyou. How. Could You. Do. It?’
Roe dragged air down into her lungs but still felt like she was drowning. She had no answer to this. Nothing that would make up for what she’d done.
‘We had sex,’ Eddie continued. ‘I tried to make it special. I thought it was special. I was so excited, Roe. Every morning, I have woken up bursting at the idea that at that moment, inside you, our future could be growing.’ Eddie came to stand in front of her and Roe wondered for a second if Eddie was softening. But then Eddie placed his hands on Roe’s shoulders and delivered his final blows in a tight, strangled voice. ‘Roe, from the bottom of my heart, I hate you.’ Then he turned away, his face shuttered and blank.
26
ON THE MONDAY MORNING AFTER WHAT SHE, Ailbhe and Roe would (eventually) come to affectionately call the Donner Party, Lindy arrived back to her house at ten. After Eileen had driven them home the day before, she’d spent the night at Finn’s strategising with the help of Patrick who, in a true though costly display of ‘above and beyond’, had come straight over when she’d asked him.
She looked at her door, took a deep breath and walked into her house and straight into a wall of shrieking and screaming. Shite! She’d forgotten she’d arranged for some kids who would be in Max’s class at the Monteray Academy to come over to play and make a video. Amazing. There’s a tragic irony to be found here somewhere. She was breaking up with Adam in the midst of eight hyper eleven-year-olds corralled by the Maxxed Out interns making a Pirate Shipwreck Adventure movie on the soundstage in her back garden. The ship was sinking and their marriage had run aground.
As she started towards the kitchen, she was snatched into the front living room by a freaked-looking Jamie. Oh shit. Could he have seen the video over the weekend? It was only up there for a matter of hours.
‘Lindy,’ he looked stricken, like the man in Edvard Munch’s The Scream only more despairing. ‘Get in here. We have to talk. Close the door.’ He was sweating and frantically dragging his hand through his massive grey quiff. ‘I don’t know how to say this …’
‘Jamie.’ Lindy checked the door was fully closed behind them. ‘Stop. Calm down. I put it there.’ His mouth fell open. Actually fell open. She carried on. ‘I was kind of tipsy – well, shitfaced – when I did it. I blame Ailbhe. And Mary Black. I took it straight down the next morning. I didn’t think anyone would have seen it! They didn’t, did they?’
‘No. But, Jesus, Lindy, you can’t leave something like that lying around. I haven’t seen a woman’s vulva in seventeen years. It put the heart across me.’ He made the sign of the cross. ‘I would take a case against you if you didn’t have enough to be dealing with.’
‘I really am sorry. I was in a rage-haze. I don’t even know what I was thinking. I was never going to put it live.’ She felt sick at the thought. ‘I just thought if he saw it he’d know that someone was on to him. And he’d let me just take Max and leave. I know that would be bad for you, I’m sorry.’ She glanced up at Jamie, who looked awkward. ‘But I don’t want to do it that way, I want to confront him properly.’
‘It’s OK. He hasn’t seen it. When I saw that it was gone this morning, I double-checked Adam’s activity on the account and he hasn’t logged in all weekend. Another thing, Lindy?’
‘Yes?’ Oh God, he must be furious that our bullshit is going to cost him his job …
Quite out of the blue – and definitely out of character for Jamie – he gathered her into a hug.
‘I am so, so sorry. I cannot believe what he’s done. He is scum. It was all I could do not to spit in his face when I saw him this morning. I’ve always had my feelings about Adam, especially in the last couple of months. There’s something off there. He’s too smooth. I’ll be honest, I’ve been looking for another role since the restructure. Working only with Adam has been—’ Adam’s voice outside the door cut Jamie off.
‘Lindy? Was that you?’ Adam opened the door. He’d obviously heard her come in. ‘Well, you deigned to come back. Hope you had a lovely weekend.’ He was clearly raging.
Jamie smiled broadly, sliding past Adam. ‘I’ll be off back to the office.’
Adam pushed the door closed behind him. ‘We need to talk, Lindy. I heard you were drunk with your friends, blaring music after I left. The mushrooms, Lindy? If it got out that this is what your “new venture” is, that would seriously hurt Maxxed Out. You better sit down and explain to me right now what the hell you’re doing.’
Lindy pulled her shoulders back and was about to let the rage rip out of her when the front doorbell chimed over the pounding of her heart.
Momentarily deflated, she marched out to the hall and pulled open the door to find Esme, the Monteray social director, and Pierce, their life curator, there beaming. ‘Hel-lo?’ Lindy couldn’t imagine what they were doing there.
‘Lindy! May we …?’ Esme slid by her before Lindy could respond.
‘What are you—?’
‘Great to see you, Lindy.’ Pierce gave a neat little wave as he too slipped in to the hall.
‘What’s this about?’ Adam had appeared at the door of the living room.
‘Will we go somewhere private?’ Esme raised her voice above the shouts of ‘Arghhhhh’ and ‘Matey’ coming from the back garden.
‘It’s a matter requiring discretion,’ Pierce yelled, causing Esme to flinch beside him.
‘C’mon in.’ Adam glanced at Lindy as he ushered their guests into the living room. From his face, she could tell he didn’t know what was going on any more than she did.
‘Right, sit, sit, everyone.’ Esme stood before them, opening the cover of a tablet. Lindy joined Adam on the couch, feeling distinctly cheated. She’d been about to unleash on her husband and now these two had completely derailed it. Pierce perched on the furry footstool, holding his own tablet with a digital pencil poised above it. Esme gestured towards him. ‘Pierce is just taking notes,’ she explained.
‘For …?’ Adam folded his arms.
‘The report.’ Esme smiled firmly. ‘We’ve had some concerning readings from the Harmony Gauge these last couple of months and felt it might be time for a check-in.’
