Finally she spoke: ‘If only completely fucking ourselves over had been on our snag lists, we’d all be done by now.’
They all burst into shrill, frantic laughter.The laughter of desperate women, Lindy thought.
‘Maybe we only thought our snags were being in a musical and changing careers.’ Lindy took another gulp of wine. ‘Maybe, The Snag List should’ve been about getting honest with ourselves …’
‘Maybe you should have done the trainingbeforeopening for business.’ Ailbhe raised her eyebrows at Lindy and then burst out laughing again.
‘Eh, Ailbhe?’ Roe, Lindy could see, was giving Ailbhe a somewhat stern look. ‘Maybe you’re not the person to be talking about timing issues?’
Ailbhe abruptly sobered up from her bout of giggles. ‘We are not talking about that.’
‘What?’ Lindy couldn’t imagine what else Ailbhe was hiding. She could see Ailbhe hesitating. ‘C’mon, Roe knows.’ Lindy pressed. ‘Are you seriously worried about telling me? We are all terrible people here!’
‘Well.’ Ailbhe was avoiding Lindy’s eyes as she chewed on the stick from her Magnum. ‘I’m not sure, I guess, how to put this—’
Roe immediately jumped in. ‘Ailbhe let Tom and Seb Knox spooge in her during the same weekend, so Tilly’s potentially not Tom’s.’
Oh. Lindy looked from Roe to Ailbhe.Whoa. ‘So you don’t know which one …?’ Lindy could barely form the words. ‘This is likeBrookside. Jesus, Ailbhe, you are like a deception multitasker! Ms I Have Nothing for a Snag List.’
The next morning, Lindy turned over to find Roe in the opposite bed looking like the most awake person of all time. She was sheet pale and her tired eyes looked haunted.
‘Well,’ Lindy said, exhaling through her mouth.
‘Well,’ Roe answered with a similar defeated exhale.
Lindy felt shattered. She’d gone to bed convinced putting the video in drafts was the best course of action, now she wasn’t so sure. It felt reckless.I need to get the big picture in order. Properly.
‘I think I know what I’m going to do,’ she said to Roe, pulling out her phone to email Patrick – even though it was Sunday, she still put ‘Urgent’ in the subject line. Next she went back to the Maxxed Out account and deleted the clip in drafts.
‘I actually think I do too,’ Roe answered. She rolled onto her back to stare at the ceiling. ‘It’s for the best but it’s going to be so hard.’
Lindy nodded. ‘Mine’s for the best as well but I sense it’s going to be messy. Like cutting-the-shark-open-in-Jawsmessy.’
Downstairs, the doorbell rang and Ailbhe raced to get it. It was a one-woman cavalry in the form of Eileen.
‘We’re abandoned women,’ Ailbhe wailed, throwing herself at her mother for a hug. Ailbhe had texted the night before as she was going to sleep and Eileen was here now to drive them back to Dublin. ‘Thank God you’re here. Tilly is still asleep. Last night was a disaster. Oh my God, you brought McDonald’s – I love you.’ She pulled her into the kitchen and began filling Eileen in.
As Ailbhe was finishing bringing her mum up to speed, Roe appeared.
‘Look, Eilers! More casualties from the Dinner Party Intervention.’
She steered a shell-shocked-looking Roe to a chair in front of some curly fries.We look like the people who’ve survived to the end of an apocalypse movie, Ailbhe thought as she guided Roe’s hand to a chip.
‘You poor pet.’ Eilers came round the island to hug Roe. ‘I heard everything. We’ll pick up a few McFlurries on the way home – they’re medicinal. Don’t worry – Eddie will come around. It’s good that this happened, luv. You can’t hide from issues in a relationship. You better be listening to this too, Ailbhe, you scallywag.’ She straightened up, pointing an admonishing finger at Ailbhe.
‘I wasn’t hiding from issues, I was hiding MY issues! There is a difference. Anyway, I was dealing with them in my own way.’ Ailbhe took a morose bite of a chicken nugget. She couldn’t believe how efficiently Tom had managed to bomb everyone’s relationships apart. It’d almost be impressive if Roe’s stark, troubled face wasn’t sitting across from her at that moment.
‘Where’s Lindy?’ Ailbhe checked the baby cam on her phone: Tilly was stirring.
‘She’s on to her solicitor.’ Roe had barely lifted her head but was managing a few chips.
‘Good on her.’ Ailbhe dipped another nugget in the sweet ’n’ sour.They should bring out a condiment form of Valium – they could call it Vaioli.Not that she was partaking any more. No more comforting booze or pills to dull the anxiety; she’d be rawdogging life from here on in.
‘Good girl, eat up.’ Eilers was rubbing Roe’s back encouragingly.
‘So, Tom’s coming back.’ Ailbhe waved her phone. ‘He’s already been on.’
‘Wow, he is quick. Eddie’s blue-ticked all my messages but not responded.’ Roe chewed morosely.
