‘You don’t think there’s any way the video is some kind of a deep fake? Like inLine of Duty? They’re always deep faking inLine of Duty.’ Lindy knew this was ludicrous.
‘It’s a deep fuck, Lindy.’ Roe sounded mournful.
‘Oof, don’t try to sugar-coat it or anything.’ Lindy crawled up onto the couch beside Ailbhe, who cuddled her close. ‘Obviously, I don’t want Adam any more. I fucking hate him but I feel like I have to try and keep us together for Max’s sake. He could fight me on the Maxxed Out thing. It kind of sounds like he will. I just feel so powerless.’
‘Lindy, you are the opposite of powerless – no wronged woman ever had more power than you right now. ’Cept … probably Hillary.’
‘Not a woman I relish being compared to.’ Lindy slumped back into the couch.
‘You need to put that video on the internet.’ Ailbhe was matter of fact.
‘No.’
Roe nodded firmly. ‘Yes.’
‘I can’t, it would destroy—’
‘Adam? Yes. It would absolutely annihilate him. So deserved.’
‘But, Ailbhe, it would destroy Max as well. And Maxxed Out.’
‘Kill Maxxed Out – that’s the best thing for him.’
Like she’s the authority on what’s best for a child, Lindy griped silently. ‘I don’t know that. If I killed Maxxed Out, Max might hate me for it. It’s been his world for years. All his memories are wrapped up in it. I want it to end but I have to do it right. And it’s not like Adam will just let it go.’
‘OK,’ Ailbhe relented. ‘What if you just threaten to release the footage?’
‘That threat wouldn’t work on Adam. He knows I’d never do that to Max.’ Lindy slid to the floor and grabbed her phone again. ‘I’m screen recording it.’ She fumbled a bit trying to hold down the buttons to capture the clip. ‘I’m going to be in bits tomorrow.’ Then it came to her. The perfect way to scare Adam.
‘Wait, gals! I know what to do. This is perfect. I’m going to upload it to the Maxxed Out channel but keep it saved as a draft. It wouldn’t ever go live but he’d have to confront it.’
‘What’ll that do? Beyond traumatising a Maxxed Out intern?’ asked Roe.
‘It’s the weekend – they’d never see it. Adam would see it first.’ She jumped up and started pacing as her plan came into focus. ‘He’ll freak. He’ll know he’s been found out but he won’t be sure who’s on to him. It’ll be like an anvil hovering over his head, poised to drop at any moment. I’ll be able to set the terms of our split, come to an agreement on winding down Maxxed Out. Obviously, I’ll need to work things out with Max, but at least Adam won’t be pushing him to continue any more. Adam will realise that with someone out there with a sex tape, the channel will never be safe. Any time, any day that person will have the power to destroy it.’
‘OK, thatisperfect.’ Ailbhe leapt up to join her. ‘Thank God one of us is getting their shit together. We need some Mary Black! When your life is in a shambles, she’s really the only woman for it.’ Ailbhe messed around with Spotify until she found ‘Only a Woman’s Heart’ and turned it right up. She swayed with her Magnum, singing along.
Roe howled over the music about how low her heart was and Lindy laughed – even in drunken despair Roe sounded amazing.
When the song ended, they sat in silence.
‘You really are an incredible singer,’ Ailbhe remarked.
‘Yeah.’ Roe flopped down onto a cushion on the floor. ‘Pity I didn’t get over myself years ago and just go for it. The second I met Eddie I was so relieved because I never felt qualified to be in charge of my own life, and here was this guy who was so accepting of me and so loving.’
‘He seems kind of controlling, Roe.’ Ailbhe, Lindy could see, was wary. Criticising a friend’s other half was like edging through a field of landmines, and Lindy wondered how Roe would take this.
Roe messed with her hair, winding a strand around her index finger. ‘I don’t think I ever relaxed,’ she murmured. ‘I was always scared that if I disagreed with him or did something he didn’t like that he’d ditch me altogether. Danny thinks I’ve never even given him a chance to be supportive because I’ve never been honest with him about what I want. Or don’t want.’ She finally looked at them. ‘The morning-after pill was pretty bad …?’ It was a statement but she said it like a question.
‘Hmmm, yeah, not great,’ Lindy agreed.
‘This is a mess.’ Roe looked like she was barely keeping her tears in check. ‘And, like, now there’s no way I can go through with the musical. And then I feel bad for caring about the musical when I’ve just destroyed Eddie.’
‘Roe, that is insane.’ Ailbhe grabbed her hands. ‘You just blew up your relationship for this musical. You owe it to yourself to go through with it. If you don’t, you’ll always wonder.’
‘And,’ Lindy cut in, ‘it’s not like Eddie will take you back just because you’ve renounced the musical. You took the morning-after pill. Like, that’s how badly you didn’t want his baby.’ Lindy winced. She didn’t want to make Roe feel worse and quickly carried on, ‘Maybe if he saw how amazing you’re doing? Some footage from rehearsals or something, it’d help him understand. Let me email Gavin and see if there’s any clips. I can send it to Eddie. I’ll do the explaining, you’ve got theNewsiesaudition to prepare for. We still have Amanda the Confidence Calibrator booked for Rachel this week. We’ll use her instead. You have to stay focused. Don’t walk away from this, darl – you have to see this through.’
Roe said nothing for several minutes. She looked tormented.
