Dad’s shoulders slump. He lifts a hand, brushing it over his dark hair. “What I believe is that once again, my son was so wasted he didn’t know what world he was in. More proof you should sign the damn papers. Just sign them.”
I take a step forward, my fists clenched at my side. Another step, my jaw aching as my teeth grind to dust. “Let me tell you a story, Dad. It’s about a kid. A teenage boy.”
“I don’t want to hear any of your melodramatic shit, Jagger.”
Graham is on my heels when I clear the rest of the space separating Dad and me. He doesn’t intervene when I grip his shirt, but I sense his readiness to jump in. “Too fucking bad, Maxwell, because today, you’re going to listen, and then maybe you’ll understand why on more than one occasion I’ve thought about finding him a good family as far away from this toxicity as possible.”
Jagger
Dad’s eyes grow wide, worried. For the first time, maybe ever, he’s quiet, his jaw clamped shut, lips turning white from how tightly they’re pressed together. His gaze jerks to Graham, and I see the silent request.Do something.
He’s scared of me. I imagine if I had a mirror right now, I’d be scared of me, too. Because I know my eyes are narrowed, my lips pulled back. Tendons strain in my neck as I fight the urge to do what he’s imagining.
But that’s not why he’s afraid. For all his bluster, he knows I am the only one who has any say over Noah’s life. He also knows that, unlike when Casey was a child, he doesn’t have the means to fight me. He’s broke, and I’m not Liam.
“Pick up your chair and listen, Dad,” Graham tells him. “It’s time you listened to him instead of criticizing everything he does.”
“Criticism makes you stronger, better,” he argues, but the crack in his voice makes it weak.
I snort, shaking my head. “Let’s see if you still think so when I’m done.” I wait until he’s picked up his chair and sits down before I continue. “Do you know what it was like to be a kid and have your mother die? And not just die, but choose to leave you? Because she wanted to be with her other child, her dead child, more than she wanted to be with the ones who still needed her? How about a father who basically checked out for the next three years? Or looking in the mirror and realizing he would never look at you the same because you have her eyes?” His mouth opens, but before he utters a syllable, my hand comes down on the desk. “Do not fucking deny it. I’m not stupid. It’s the reason you couldn’t look at me for years, and the same reason you want Noah. We look like her.”
“I love Noah,” he insists, and I don’t doubt it. Just like I don’t doubt he loves me, too. But he’s never known how to show it. Not really. Not even before my mom died.
I ignore him and keep going. “Fast forward three years later, and your dad brings home a new wife. The outright avoidance turns to indifference. No matter what that kid did or asked for, the few minutes of time he desperately wanted and needed, he got things instead. Money, cars, clothes, games…you name it, he had it. In spades. The breaking point in the kid trying to get his dad to see him was when he showed him a song he wrote, and the dad told him it wasn’t good enough and would never be. Becausehewasn’t good enough.”
“You did what?” Graham growls, coming to stand beside me, his glare as fierce as my own.
Dad’s dark brows pinch. “I don’t remember that.”
“That’s not surprising since you said it was a forgettable song no one would care about.” I shrug. “But none of that matters. Not Mom. Not you. Because this isn’t about that. It’s about the psychopath you brought into our lives, and I’m not talking about her narcissistic abuse of the staff, her entitlement, or the way she played you like a violin to take a little girl away from her dad. Those are bad enough, but I’m talking about the woman who attempted to sell her thirteen-year-old little girl to her friends for sex. The woman who tried to sell Casey’s virginity to the highest bidder.”
“What are you talking about?”
“That right there.” I point my finger at him, shaking my head. “It was right in front of you, under your nose. You weren’t aware because you chose not to be. You refused to see how hurt Casey was over her dad. Or how the older she got, the more withdrawn she got. BecauseKristamade her out to be dramatic.”
“Casey never told—”
“Casey never told anyone, Dad. That’s the goddamn point! But I saw it. Graham saw it. You were the only one who refused to see.”
“Casey was…,” he trails off, looking at Graham for confirmation.
“No one touched her like that, Dad,” Graham tells her. “Kristawas the only one who hurt her.”
Dad flinches, his nostrils flaring. “If nothing happened, then what are we even talking ab—”.
“Let me tell you all about that, Dad. Give a little insight into why I live my life high as fuck. Why I can barely tolerate being touched most of the time. Why, sometimes, yes I fucking hate you.” I take a breath around the knot in my chest and swallow the lump in my throat. Tension pulls at every muscle in my body because it’s time to face my demons. Or at least admit to them. “I tried to tell you once. Do you remember? I was so fucking ashamed of what I’d done. I didn’t come right out and say what happened, but I did tell you she propositioned me. Do you remember what you said?”
I can feel Graham glaring at me, something else he didn’t know about. And my brother…he’s arrogant, self-righteous, and entitled as hell. But he also feels a deep sense of responsibility, and I’ve slowly accepted that it extends to me.
Dad’s lips tuck between his teeth, his chest rising with a hard inhale. “That you were being ridiculous because Krista had no interest in little boys.”
“Yep. You dismissed me so fast, I knew there was no point in telling you the rest. So you get to hear it now.” And I break it down for him. The way she slunk into my room every damn night, putting her hands on me. The way I hated myself because my body reacted as if I wanted it. The guilt and shame that weighed on me for what I was doing, but too afraid to put an end to it for fear of what she’d do to Casey. I tell him about thepartiesshe’d have when he was out of town and Casey was at Liam’s. The men, the women…how they leered at me, touched me, made me touch them…
With each word, my dad sinks lower into his chair, but something in his eyes…
I get to the last time it happened. How I was wasted and horny. How it was dark, and I thought it was someone else becausehetold me she wouldn’t be there.
His throat clears, his dark eyes slant.
