This time he does look up with sadness in his eyes. “I’m sorry I’ve been such an ass, Ven. I’m angry, but it is not your fault.”
“I know, Matt,” I smile at him softly. “We’re going to the store for some food. Want to come?”
“Sure,” he shrugs. “Really don’t want to be left here with Nova.”
“Probably a good idea. We’ll be in the car.”
A few minutes later, we’re on our way to the local market. “Matt,” I say low enough that Tyler can’t hear me, “can I leave Tyler with you for a bit tonight?”
“Sure,” he shrugs. “I got no plans. You working again?”
I nod. I’m workingall right. I called Dee’s cousin the minute I saw Nova’s car in the drive. Every night I’ve ‘worked’. It’s more money for a night than I make in two weeks. It’s embarrassing and humiliating, but I don’t have room for pride. I’m just not sure it’s enough.
I’ve made five thousand dollars in five nights for keeping rich men company with no touching, fully clothed, and in a mostly public place. If itweren’tso creepy, it wouldn’t be so bad. It’s just weird for me to be on a ‘date’ with sixty-something-year old men.
But if the bank calls in the loans, it won’t be enough. Not nearly enough. And I’ve promised my brother I would do whatever it takes to keep the house.
Bile rises in my throat as I think about what that will be.
I haven’t been celibate since Ryder. But I haven’t madea lengthy listeither. Just a few drunken one-night stands— each time after hearing the guys playing over the sound system when I was out with Dee —and Brett. Brett became the solution when getting drunk and falling into bed with strangers seemed like it could become a habit.
I don’t know how I’m going to do it, but I will. Which is what I messaged Delilah earlier while Matt and Nova were arguing. I didn’t expect her to have a job for me so soon or so close. I had no choice but to say yes. Not right after I just told her I was available.
“All right guys,” I say, pushing the thought of what lies ahead out of my mind before I panic, “think we can be in and out in twenty?”
“Got a list?” Matt asks me. I give him my bestduhface, making him laugh. It’s good to see my little brother laugh. It feels like ages since he smiled. “Give us half, and you take half. We will divide and conquer”
“What makes you think my list is by aisle?” I challenge. Now he gives me aduhlook. “Okay. It is.” Unfortunately, it’s not simple enough for me to look through the pantry and find what we need. To me, it’s like staring at a blank page, expecting toknow what the book says. Imustmentally go down each aisle of the store to know. Fortunately,Breadbasket hasn’t changed since I was a kid.
We walk through the automatic doors into the locally owned market to plenty of familiar faces. “You go left. I go right. First one back chooses dessert.”
“That’s what Nana always said,” Tyler looks up at me. But not too far. I know I’m super short, but I swear I don’t remember Matt being this tall at eight. He’s already an inch or two past my chin.
Matt and I exchange knowing, sad smiles. “Yeah, she did, buddy,” he ruffles Tyler’s hair.
We grab our carts and go. I run through the produce and fresh meats because I was not giving two boys that part of the list. I make sure to grab some milk for whatever cereal they choose. I groan a little when I realize Matt and Tyler’s part of the list takes them straight down the junk food aisle.
I turn down the last aisle, positive chocolate cake is in our future rather than the banana pudding I know Matt and Tyler will demand, nearly bumping into a guy standing in the middle of the aisle. Chills run over my body without seeing his face. I just don’t know why he’shere.
I abandon the cart, determined to get out of here before he spots me. As soon as I turn, I spot Tyler and Matt. I move to them quickly. “Come on,” I whisper. “Let’s go.”
“What about your cart?” Matt asks me with confusion showing in his furrowed brows.
“Just leave it,” I whisper. “We can eat at the diner.”
“But you said we didn’t need any more diner food,” Tyler argues. “And I really want raviolis now.”
“Tomorrow,” I tell him. “I’ll make them tomorrow.”
Matt narrows his eyes at me. My little brother has tried to be my protector since I came back from New York. It was adorable when he was seven. Right now, I just need him to listen.
He looks over my shoulder then back to me. “That guy bothering you?”
Of course, Matt doesn’t recognize him. No one would. Not with the backwards ballcap and the dark glasses. Not to mention the plain jeans and hoodie.
It’s just not the image he’s seen on the internet and TV. But I’d recognize the wings on the back of his neck anywhere. I was there when he got them.
“Heaven,” Matt calls out loudly, snapping me from my thoughts.
