I swallow hard, closing my eyes, as I prepare to give him the information that might send him running. It’s not something I’ve ever considered to be an issue one way or the other, but he needs to know before he cuts himself off from everyone else completely. “Ryder, I’m a virgin. I don’t know if I will be any— you know, good.”
He doesn’t say anything for a second. Then two. Then I can’t handle the suspense. I open my eyes slowly to see him grinning. With a groan, I throw my hands over my face.
He pulls them away with a chuckle. “Heaven, I know you’re a virgin. I’ve known for a while.”
“How could you possibly know that?” I scoff to hide my embarrassment. “Do I havevirgintaped to my forehead or something?”
“Oh, pixie, if anyone ever screamed virgin, it’s you. It’s just little things you say and do that give you away. Why are you embarrassed by it? Everyone is a virgin until they’re not. We’re kind of born that way, you know?”
I shake my head, knowing he’s right. It’s honestly never bothered me before. It shouldn’t bother me now, but— “I guess it’s a lot of pressure to live up to the competition.”
This makes him scowl. It makes him scowl hard. “You don’t have anyone to live up to, okay? When we ever go there, it will be great. I swear, you’ll have fun. That said, we might need to discuss that too.”
“I know how it works,” I deadpan.
“Not with me you don’t. I already told you, I’m not soft and gentle. I don’t know how to be, but I swear I’ll do my best for you. Okay?”
“No. I don’t want you to treat me like I’m fragile.” I cross my arms over my chest with a pout. I have an idea of how it would be with him. I gotextremely specificvisuals that night when I walked in on him and Maddox. And I’d be lying if I said those ideas aren’t a major turn on. They’re turning me on right now.
And he knows it ifthat smirk is anything to go by. “Pixie, I plan on breaking you, so your fragility never crossed my mind.”
“Oh.” I want to facepalm myself, but I have nothing else to say to that except theyes, pleaseandcan we nowthat I’m withholding.
“So, what do you say, love? You gonna give me a shot here? I’m probably going to crash and burn but I want to try. I’mfairly sureif we don’t, I’m going to get locked away for a long string of violent acts. You’re not great for my temper, you know.”
“Well, I can’t have your possible incarceration on my conscience,” I smile. “Sounds like I don’t have a choice.”
“You always have a choice. You’re just making the best one. By the way, I’m going to kiss you now.”
I barely have a second to process his words whenhis mouth is on mine. Just like everything about him, there is no starting slow. He ravages my mouth with his the second our lips meet, like a wolf that’s been starved for days. His tongue explores every inch in ways I didn’t know were possible. It’s dirty and hot and I. Am. Here. For. It.
He pulls me forward by my hips and I can feel his excitement through his sweats. One hand tangles in my hair and the other grips my face in a display of sheer dominance.
Every inch of me is on fire. The burn that fills my belly every time we’re near each other gets hotter by the second. I trail my hands down his firm chest and rippled abs with a moan of desperation until I reach for the band around his waist. I have wanted him for months and now I feel like if I don’t get him soon, I will combust.
I begin tugging at the fabric whenhis hands grip mine. He pulls back from the kiss looking absolutely disgusted. My stomach plummets as I realize he hated the kiss and is already having second thoughts.
“I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but you need to go,” he pants as his forehead rests on my shoulder.
“Yeah, sure,” I try hard to keep the embarrassment and hurt out of my voice.
He leans back, tipping my chin up with his finger. “Stop that train of thought right now. I’m not stopping because I didn’t like it. I want nothing more than to make you beg and scream and beg some more right here right now. But you have work. When I talked to Arnold last night, he said he was going to have to replace you if you didn’t come back soon.”
“Crap,” I mutter. I’d completely forgotten about work. “I can’t get fired.”
“Not unless you’re willing to let me take care of the money for you.” I give him a scathing glare, making him laugh. “Didn’t think so. So, let’s get you back to the dorm to change and then I’ll drop you off.”
“Ugh. Fine.” He helps me from the counter. In fiveminutes,we’re both heading for the door. Before we open it, he tugs me to his chest.
“That in there is definitely to be continued. Got it, pixie?”
I nod, praying that it happens sooner rather than later.
Five days.It has been five days since I told Ryder I would try out more than friends. Not like I reallyneededmuch convincing. Attraction aside, my feelings for him have grown a little more every day. Even after the vitriol he spewed that day in the gym, they have gotten stronger. I don’t think anything he said to me would hurt so much if I didn’t care.
I have also realized I have to get thicker skin with him. Ryder has always said exactly what’s on his mind. He told me from the beginning that he won’t lie to spare someone’s feelings, even if he cares about them.
I’ve also learned that he lashes out when he’s angry. If you’re in the line of fire, then it’s best to be prepared. That doesn’t mean I will let him treat me poorly, but I try to weigh the emotions behind his words. He’s a complex, complicated man with a lot of issues that I don’t have the first clue about. I hope as we grow closer, he will feel comfortable enough to share them with me. In the meantime, he’s determined not to hurt me again, and I’m determined to be more understanding when he does. Because at the end of the day, he is only human and not infallible.
