“They’re not weaknesses, man. They are exactly what you need. And what you have always wanted.” Maddox tells me without hesitation. “Don’t let it go, Ry. Not again.”
“Don’t plan on it, mate.”
I walk into the houseafter leaving Tyler with his mother. We spent the rest of yesterday in the studio. Tyler and Matt stayed with us the entire time. Their smiles couldn’t get any wider as they sat there with the five of us while we played, wrote, and arranged a few songs. Maddox and I showed them a few bars on the guitar that Tyler picked up faster than I would’ve thought. Maddox called him a virtuoso. Only Maddox could say something like that honestly becauseMaddoxisa virtuoso.
Unfortunately for everyone, it was the drums that fascinated him most. I think Dane’s grin stretched wider than Tyler’s as they sat for nearly an hour beating on his kit. But the kid wasn’t nearly as skilled on those as he was the guitar. My ears and head were not a fan. Heaven looked positively mortified when I told her that he wanted a drum set for his birthday. She also looked ready to kill Dane and me.
Shortly before midnight, we called it quits. I carried Tyler to bed then went downstairs with my guitar. Leaning back in the leather club chair, my foot propped on the coffee stable in front of me, I began to strum. The workings of a new song had been playing around in my mind. Different from the aggressive type of melody that usually comes to me, this one was intricate and slow. A3 to E4 I began before moving into the G flat scale where everything began to evolve and form. The entire song poured from me like a beating heart pumping blood through my veins then through the strings of the guitar. No words, just the music.
It was nearly daylight when I had every note and chord progression written down. I played it from start to finish. The sound filled the air, but it was my soul that surged forward filling the space with every tear and smile and beat of the heart I thought had died.
“Sounds good,” Maddox told me from the doorway. “Don’t know if I’ve heard you play better.”
I looked up to him with a jerk of my head toward the massive wooden door. “Where’d you go, Mads?” He’d taken off right after we called it a night.
“Had some business to handle.”
It was a little difficult to really see him in the low lighting, but I could tell something was off. Something besides the usual has been going on with him, but I had been a little caught up the last couple of days to talk to him about it.
“Want to talk about it?”
He leaned his head back, looking at the ceiling. “Davis and Nichols are selling. Been trying to figure out the offer and who’s making it.”
“What do you have in mind, Mads? You wanna buy it?”
He shook his head with a strange look in his eyes. It made me anxious. “It’s too late. Didn’t even get a chance to try before they had it sold. Keeping it anonymous until everything is made public.”
“I’m guessing you found out who it is.”
His jaw clenched hard. He had more hurt and defeat in his eyes at that moment than I’d ever seen. It shook me to my core. “I found out.”
“That’s it? That’s all you're going to give me?”
“I don’t have the energy for much more. Not right now.”
I watched him walk up the stairs with dread pooling in my gut. I knew something had shaken him. I could see it crawling on his skin and swimming in his eyes.
I haven’t even been to sleep yet. Heaven could see it when I dropped off Tyler. She eyed me warily until he was up the stairs. Then she asked very bluntly if I was on something. I assured her I hadn’t had more than a couple of drinks the entire time I had him. Biting my tongue to keep myself from acting like an asshole when she asked was a chore. I got it, but it was insulting at the same time. No matter how fucked up I may be, I wouldn’t do drugs when he’s with me,and I wouldn’t drive him home if I weren’t sober.
Now I’m sitting on the sofa, head leaning against the back, my eyes heavy with the need for sleep.
“The girls are gone?” I ask when Dane walks into the room.
“Yep. Left right after you did. Seemed like Tyler had fun. Matt too,” he says as he sits across from me on the other sofa. “You and Heaven getting along well?”
“Yeah. We’re good,” I can’t stop smiling when I say it.
“So, we don’t need to worry about cops being called when you’re over there?” He’s grinning like an asshole until he catches my wince at the joke. “What did you do?”
“What are we talking about?” Angel sits next to me on the sofa while Jake grabs the club chair. Dane nods to me but doesn’t explain.
With an exhale I tell them about yesterday with Nova. They’re expressions constantly shift from worry to anger to understanding. “I just snapped,” I finish. “It was like suddenly it wasn’t Heaven’s sister anymore. It was Margret.”
“Ryder, brother, you need help.” Dane leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “You both do.” He doesn’t have to explain for me to know he’s talking about Maddox. “You’re out of control.”
“I’m not,” I scoff. “I’ve just been off kilter since Heaven reappeared. She’s the only time I lose control.”
“Is she?”
