I know Peyton is only trying to stir up drama. She wants attention, and if I had to guess,money. She’s probably heard I’m back with the band and thinks she can pull a fast one.
She’s already threatening court and lawyers and even kidnapping charges because I left the state withoutinforming her. Like that was even a possibility. I didn’t know how to contact her. Even if I had, why would I inform someone who doesn’t even know what their own child looks like that I’m going out of the country?
Peyton ensured that she can’t take Lyra from me by listing me as her father on her birthcertificate.I know, after nearly three years, no judge in the States would grant Peyton custody either.But that doesn’t mean it won’t get ugly.
Odds are it will get very ugly. She will probably have my ass picked up for kidnapping the minute the plane lands in New York if she doesn’t try something sooner. She could sue me for custody, and this could be drawn out for a long time.
And all of that is why I’m worried about Cara. Will she be willing to go through that with me?Can she handle long, drawn-out custody battles and possible kidnapping charges?
She hasalready been through so much. Now my bullshit is just going to add to that.All because I had a freaking heart.
Sometimes it feels like the universe sends Peyton tokeep me away from Cara.I know I’ve got to tell her, but I’m not sure I can handle it if she walks away.
“Something the matter?” Cara asks when the guys walk away. “Things seemed kind of intense out here.”
“It’s nothing you need to worry about, baby,” I tell her pulling her to my lap.
“Are you sure?”She flushes then worries her lip. “Forget I asked that. I know it’s not my business.”
That’s the last thing I want her to think.God, this is so damn hard. “It’s not that, baby. It’s exactly as I said. Nothing you need to worry about.Not because it’s not your business but because I don’t want it to be your problem.”
Soon as the words leave my mouth, I want to take them back. It sounds like all my talk about her letting me in isn’t reciprocated. That couldn’t be farther from the truth.I leanagainst her shoulder with a heavy sigh. “That came out wrong. I don’t want you to worry. I don’t want youto stress out or panic. I don’t want to give you a reason to run.”
“What are you talking about, Jake?” she whispers, her voice breaking on the last word.
“I’ve told you over and over to let me in. To let me carry that weight you’re carrying. I don’t want to take your weight only to replace it with my garbage.”
“I don’t mind carrying yours.” My eyes close, knowing this is her giving me more of herself. “Let me be there for you. You want me to trust you, and it’s taken a bit, but I do. Now trust me.”
My head snaps up. I take her face in my hands, my brows to my hair, and my eyes wide.“Fuck, Cara, I do trust you. I trust you with everything.”
“You just don’t trust me to stay. That’s why you said that last night. You think I’m going to leave you. I know I’ve given you plenty of reason to think that, but why?”
“Becauseit’s drama and bullshit I created with my choices. I’m afraid you won’t want any part of it or me. I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t. It’s not something you signed up for.Just give me time. Let me see if I can get it sortedfirst. I will tell you, just give me some time.”
“Okay,” she whispers.
“Thank you. I swear I’ll tell you. I’m just hoping when I do, there’s nothing to it.”
Her eyes, shining withunshed tears, dart between mine. I’m not sure what she sees, but she kisses me gently then wraps her arms around me, hugging me tightly.
God, I hope I don’t lose her over this. Idon’t think I’ll survive if I do.
“From the top,”Maddox tells us all. We’ve been rehearsing for two hours.At the rate we’re going, his voice is going to be trash by tonight.
But he’s wired, his OCD is at it’s peak, and paranoia at not being perfect is at an all-time high today. It happens every time he gets a call from home.
Angel is a pissy douche.He gets a little worse every day Josephine is gone.I get it,but I’ll be glad when she’s back. Ryderhas something going on with him too. I don’tknow what it could be, but it has had him at everyone’s throat. Throw in my bad mood, and we are four for four. Dane is the only one thatseems to be having good days lately.
Angel’s phone rings, cutting us all off from pickingup again. “It’s Josie,” he tells us. “I’m taking it.”
“Won’t she be back tonight?” Maddox calls out as he walks off.
“In the morning,” he yells back. “Still taking it. I like her more than you douchebags.”
“Hopefully,his mood will improve when she gets back. It’s like being around Angelfrom last year,” Dane grumbles. “In fact, what the hell is wrong with all of you?”
“Just dealing with shit, man,” I tell him as I set my bass to the side, then lay on the stage.
