I shove my hands in my pocket and shuffle over to where they sit. “Shedoesn’t need to go to sleep yet,” I nod toward Lyra. “She’ll be a nightmare on the plane if she starts a nap she can’t finish.”
“She’ll be fine, Jake. Now. Sit. Tell me what’s got you so worked up. Everything about you is tense. I’ve told you before that Lyra will pick up on that and be more difficult to handle.”
She has told me that. And she’s right even if I hate that she’s right. Lyra mimics my moods. Or maybe they just rub off on her. But it never fails; if I’m in a pissy mood, so is she.
“This was a bad idea, Mom,” I tell her as I sit in the chair across from her, dropping my head into my hands.
“Jake,this is your dream, and it’s being handed to you on a silver platter. How could it be a bad idea?”
“Just trust me on this, Mom.This was the worst thing I could’ve done.”
“Jake, do you still have feelings for Cara?” she asks me softly.
My head snaps up. She might be able to read my expressions, but Iknowshe can’t read my mind. I’ve never told her about my attraction to Dane’s little sister.I’ve never told anyone. “Why would you ask that?” I deflect.
“Son, you have never been very good at hiding your feelings about anything from me.I am your mother. For me,they are always written all over your face. I knew long ago you liked that girl. Lord knows I prayed you’d let it go since she wasentirely too young for you at the time. I was relieved you never pursued her.”
My mouth is slack. My mind is spinning as I realize justhowlongshe’s known. I wince just a bit because my mom knew her grown son had a thing for a sixteen-year-old girl.“I would never have gone after her while she was underage,” Iassure her.
“But you still have feelings.” It’s a statement. An observation.She’s not judging. Mom would never do that.
“I don’t know aboutfeelings, Mom, but yes,I’m still attracted to her.Which is why this was a bad idea. I am going to be with her twenty-four hours a day for weeks.This will be the most miserable experience of my life.” I lean back into my chair with a groan.
“I don’t understand the problem. It seems like the perfect time to get to know her. To see if what you feel is more than skin deep.”
I look at Lyra,who is still awake but just barely.“Dane is one reason. I’d be risking our friendship. He and the other guys have been more supportivethan I could ever hope for with Lyra. I don’t know if it would be worth the risk. Dane isn’t the most reasonable when it comes to his sisters.”
She gives me a knowing smile, but what she thinks she knows, I couldn’t begin to guess. “What else?”
“Well, there’s Cara herself. She’s been through a lot. She’s been broken somehow.I don’t want to start something that doesn’t work and hurt her more.Not to mention Lyra. What if Lyra got attached to her and things didn’t work out?”
“I see. So you’re telling me you’re worried about Lyra, Cara, and Dane.What about how you feel, Jake? Where does what you want fit intoany of that?”
I scoff. That’s the most absurd thing she could ask. “What I want doesn’t matter. You know that. I have to put Lyra first. If things went badly, she’d lose a lot of people she needs in her life.Besides, Cara doesn’t look at me the way I look at her. I am just her brother’s friend. Nothing more.” Those last words leave a bitter taste in my mouth.
“Okay, Jake. Okay.Then go on this tour. You do your job, let Cara do hers, and just forget about the rest.”
I narrow my eyes. I want to push her to tell me what she really thinks because I can see she has more on her mind. Another knock at the door stops that trainin its track, however.
I stand to open itto find Angel and Josephine. “You look like hell,” Angel remarks with a smirk.
“Still better looking than you,” I quip, letting them in the door.
“Are you okay, Jake?” Josephine questions with concern lacing her feature. “You do look a little – wired.”
I wave them off. “I’m fine. Just ready to get this show on the road.”
“Osie,” Lyra says from my mother’s lap. Her bright blue eyes looking overwhere we stand.
“There’s the princess,” Josephine calls out with a bright smile of her own.
Lyraquickly wiggles her way from my mom to get to Josephine.
In all the years I’ve known Angel, I knew the guy was missing something – someone. He told me about Josephine. I honestly thought, at the time, he needed to move on(pot meet kettle), but it was apparent he wasn’t just missinga person – he was missing part of himself. Since she reentered his life, he seems like a different man. Like he has peace and contentment. Like he’s whole.
I never knewthe day I called and asked him to come to New York and take my place in the band, it would eventually lead him back to her.It’s funny how things can align like that. Like the universehad its plan despitethe people who tried so hard to keep them apart.
Josephine squats down to Lyra, wrapping her arms around my little girl.For years, it was just us guys.With Angel reuniting with Josephine and Dane with Cami, my little girl has two more people to love her. Two more women in her life that she’ll need one day.
