“When what?” I hiss with frustration and anger.
“When did it turn from lust to love?”
I open my mouth to deny it,but the words won’t come.I think about what he’s just said. Do I love her?
I’ve always wanted her. I’ve always been concernedfor her. That doesn’t constitute love.
But then I think about how insane it’s been driving me that she won’t even look at me.When I’ve had her in my arms, even as she’s breaking down, I think about howit feels right. It feels like home.
When I watch her with Lyra, all I can see is how I want that forever. Except I wantit to be real. I want her in my home with me. I want to share my hopes and dreams and hurts and my secrets. I want to tell her things thatno one knows.
I try to figure out the exact moment it happened. When what I feel became more.It was weeks ago in Dane’s apartment. The night they asked me to come on this tour. I remember watching her with Lyra and thinking I’d give anything for her to be mine. For her to belong toLyra and me. It’s what spurred the jealousy over herfriendand had me accepting her offer so quickly.
“Fuck me,” I hiss.
Maddox chuckles with a slap to my shoulder. “Do you really think Dane would’ve been okay with you going after her if he didn’t see how you felt?”
“Why the hell am I so damn transparent?” I grumble.
“It’s who you are, Jake. You don’t hide anything. You’re as real as they get.”
“So, aren’t you missing out on all the fun in there?”
He chuckles. “Contrary to popular belief, I do not have todipmy dick in something every night.Besides, they’ll be there when I’m ready.”
“Dude, I am colossally screwed,” I blow out a heavy sigh. “I’m not sure she’ll ever be ready for me.”
“Maybe you need to try things her way.” We step out of the bus into the night air. The sounds of parties and chaos are still loudthroughout the place.
“What way would that be?” I hope he doesn’t say try to be friends because I can’t be her friend. I’ve never been able to see her that way, and I know I damn sure can’t now.
“I don’t know. You’d have to talk to her and figure that out,” he shrugs.
“Kind of har….” I’m cut off by a piercing scream. I look at Maddox withmy heart ready to explode out of my chest. “That was Cara.”
I start to take off for the bus when he grabs me by the shoulder. “You can’t just barge in. You don’t know why she was screaming.”
I start to argue, but the bus door flies open, the guyruns out. “I have a good idea,” I growl.
He stops me with a hand to my shoulder again,and I swear I’m about to break it again. “Go to her.” His face is hard and stone-like. Angerwritten all over his face.
He takes off running, and I see Henry and Liam step from where they were standing to do the same.
I don’t waste anymore time. I amon the bus, making my way to the bedroom inless than five seconds. I open the door to find Cara in the corner on the floor,rocking back and forth. My heart completely shatters to see herso broken.
I move slowly, stoopingwhere she sits. I tentatively reach a hand out,brushing her hair.“It’s just me, baby,” I soothe when she flinches away.Shestill doesn’t look up. I want nothing more than to draw her into my arms, but I’m afraid it might make this flashback or panic attack worse.
I just continue to stroke her head, feeling absolutely helpless.
“What the hell is going on?” Dane’s voice bellows behind me. I turn to see nearly everyone standing therewith a mixture of worried and pissed off expressions on their faces
I ignore Dane and turn my attention to Maddox. “Did you catch up with him?”
He shakes his head. “Henry is still looking, but he vanished in the crowd.”
“It was him,” Cara says, looking up with tear-stained cheeks. She throws herself in my arms, surprising me,but now I feel like I can breathe. “It was him,” she whispers in my ear again.
My blood turns to ice. My mind, again, wonders what happened to her that she hasn’t told her brother about. I pull her back, placing a hand on each side of her face. “Did he hurt you?”
