Then I’m pissed. I climb out of the truck which miraculously didn’t even get a scratch to walk around to her side. I open the door and pull her out. “What the fuck is wrong with you? Were you trying to get us killed?”
Her eyes are wide with surprise and the remaining endorphins of fear and adrenaline, but she doesn’t say anything at all.
“Tori,” I yell at her. “Answer me.”
Still nothing. She just stares at me. Her chest heaves. My chest heaves. She licks her lips. I follow her tongue.
Everything runs together. All the fear and adrenaline and love and want and anger and frustration and desire and need. Everything bleeds because for a few seconds I was scared. I, Zane Valen, who has never been afraid of anything in my life was absolutely terrified. I saw the end. I saw it right in front of me, and I was scared. Not for me. For her.
I remember what it was like to lose Lacy and my parents. I remember how it felt when I thought I was going to lose Zoey. The fear I had for that split second knowing any second the truck could roll over, hit a tree, or go barreling into the swamp.
Okay. Truth? I’m probably being overdramatic. We absolutely could’ve died under all those scenarios, but it was probably unlikely.
Another truth? She wasn’t going that fucking fast. I’ve gone much, much faster down this road.
If we’d hit a tree, it would’ve killed the truck, but I doubt either of us would’ve been seriously injured. The chances of rolling over were slim at that speed. Landing in the swamp? Yeah, again, the truck would’ve died, but we could’ve gotten out before we became alligator chow.
Her drivingdidlegitimately terrify me. I really was panicking but irrationally so. At the moment, I’m reaching – fishing for an excuse to say what I want to say. Just like I wanted to do last night.
But the thoughts about my parents, Lacy, and Zoey are there now. The realization that I was not terrified to get into an actual accident as much as I’m terrified if I don’t tell her now, something will happen. “I love you, Tori,” I blurt. She gasps and her eyes go wide exactly like I expected. “I know you aren’t ready to hear it much less say it, but I’ve learned life is short. I don’t like wasting time. I’ve been waiting for months to tell you that. I can’t hold it back anymore.”
I know I sound like a chick. I know I always sound like Mr. Sensitivity. Like I’ve lost my man card and I’m a total pussy. I’m not, you know. I just know what I want. I take what I want.
She stands there, gape mouthed looking utterly terrified and completely confused. I half expect her to take off screaming up the road. She doesn’t. Nope she doesn’t move or blink. She is completely frozen.
“Tori, you can breathe. I don’t expect you to say it or even feel it but I -.”
Her mouth finds mine. Her velvety lips move across mine. I grip her hips pushing her against the truck until I’m hoisting her up and she’s wrapping her legs around me. Tongues and teeth clash like we’re oxygen deprived and have found what we need in each other.
I don’t want to, but I end the kiss. I press my forehead to hers as our breathing finally begins to settle. She still doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t have to. I know how she feels even if she isn’t ready or able to accept it yet.
Like I said, I know what I want, and I’m not afraid to take it. Even if that means waiting just a little bit longer.
“Let’s get back.”
Tori
I curl into Zane’s side almost wishing I didn’t have to open my eyes. Wishing I didn’t have to go home today. Home to absolutely nothing with everyone who means the most to me gone someplace else.
I never thought there would come a day when I didn’t want to be in New York, but here I am. Lying in bed with a man that I don’t want to leave.
He told me he loves me, and I didn’t freak the fuck out.
Okay, I did. I totally freaked out. But I didn’t run like I’ve done before. I wouldn’t have made it very far if I’d tried but that’s not the point. The point is, instead of running, I kissed him.
Deflective? Maybe, but he said he didn’t expect me to feel it or say it. And I didn’t run.
I call that progress.
My damn phone ringing completely ruins what I’m trying to accomplish, but I don’t answer it in hopes that whoever it is will go away. Of course, they don’t. They continue to call until I reach over Zane to grab it off the table to see who it is. Just Dane and Maddox. They’re on tour so whatever their issue is, I can’t help from here. I turn the phone off.
He lets out a chuckle without opening his eyes. “I’m not sure that’s how you solve the problem.”
“I don’t want to get up,” I groan. “When I get up, I have to pack to leave.”
“Then let’s make sure you have something to remember on your way back,” he tells me moving quickly so he’s on top of me.
His phone starts ringing now. He grabs it and shows me it’s Maddox calling him now. I take it from him to answer. “Hello,” I grumble. A very wicked and mischievous grin forms on Zane’s lips.
