I stepped away from the mirror, and I walked over to the shower, that I quickly started, and I stayed inside for about twenty minutes. I let the hot water beat down my back, and so many things were running through my mind. The whole time that I was in the shower, I was wondering if this was the end of this case. I wanted to know if it would get brought back up. Even though my pops said that it was going to get thrown out of the window, since the detectives did a bunch of illegal shit tonight, I just didn’t know how far Vivian’s pops was going to go. He didn’t give vibes that he was going to just let this be the end of it. He was going to push, and that’s the part that I was worrying myself about.
As far as Vivian, whatever the fuck kind of relationship that I had with her, this was going to be the end of it. She did try and help me. With a face filled with tears, she was telling everyone in that bedroom with a pair of ears, and that were willing to listen that I hadn’t done anything wrong. She was vouching for a nigga, but I just couldn’t take any chances with her. This shit could have ended terribly tonight, so the only best option in this would be for us to go back to how we used to be, which was totally nonexistent to each other, with no form of communication. Shit, the second I got back to my pops crib, and had access to my phone, I planned to delete her number, and to block her ass.
I finished up with my shower, wrapped a towel around my waist, and the toothbrush that I had here, I used it, so that I could brush my teeth. I rinsed my mouth out as well and washed my face. I threw on the briefs, the socks, and the gym shorts that I’d come in here with.
By the time I finished up in the bathroom, I went back to the bedroom, and I noticed that the bedroom door was opened. I’d closed it before leaving out. My mama was inside. She was sitting down on the bed, with her legs in front of her, sitting Indian style, and there was a butterfly decorative pillow in her lap, that she’d taken from the head of the bed. Her eyes were on me, as I walked in. I was nervous, so I scratched at my scalp, walking in the bedroom. I didn’t know if she was going to get up swinging, or what. She seemed calm though.
“Close the door,” she told me.
I walked in, closed the door behind me, and I walked over to the bed, going close to where she was, and I took a seat down. I sighed, putting my hands in my lap, and out of nervousness, I played with my fingers. Her eyes were on me the entire time. Just like the car ride, she was quiet, but I knew her mind was racing with so many things.
“Ya’ll probably hate my guts right now,” was the first thing that I thought to say. After revealing that, she sucked her teeth.
“Creed, cut it out. Don’t even try to gaslight your ass out of this,” she snapped on me, calling me out for my bullshit. I didn’t say anything. I was afraid that anything that I said to her would have her hand flying my way, slapping me in the mouth. It wouldn’t be the first time that she’s done it, either.
“Start from the very beginning of this. I need you to make this entire thing make some kind of sense to me. When did you even start talking to this girl?” she wanted to know.
My pops wasn’t trying to hear the full details. I wasn’t surprised that my mom was though. She was one of those people that just had to analyze every little thing. The way that I was feeling right now, I didn’t even want to talk about this shit, but I knew I didn’t have a choice, so I sighed, ran my hand down my face, looked at her, and I prepared to tell the story from thebeginning to the end, in hopes that it would make some kind of sense to her, and she wouldn’t think that I was stupid.
“It was the night of the championship. The night you dropped me, and Legend off to the skating rink. I was posted up, chilling with Quay, and his homeboys. Vivian walked over with her girls, so that she could congratulate me on my win. Ma, when she came over and spoke to me, I was shocked. You know I have known that girl since we were kids, and she’s never spoken two words to me before. After I thanked her for showing love, that’s when she asked if we could exchange phone numbers. You know I’m not some goofy nigga, so I asked her why she was suddenly checking for me now, after me and my teammates won the championship. She told me that she never spoke to me in the past because I always looked mean. It ain’t like she was lying because you know that I keep a mug on my face. We exchanged numbers, and she left. Quay was the one that told me that she wasn’t using me for anything because she came from money, so it wasn’t like she was riding my tail, looking for a come up. After that, we would text, but I was always dry with her, and I wouldn’t respond half the time. The night me and you got into it because I didn’t do what I was supposed to do around the house, and I went to pops house after, she hit me on facetime, and that was our first time talking on the phone,” I paused a little bit after saying the first half. My mama had her eyes glued to me, hanging onto my every word, not wanting to miss anything that I was saying.
“Our first conversation was cool. Even though I’ve known her pretty much all my life, we never talked, so I really didn’t know much about her. She opened up to me the first night, telling me about the stuff she was going through at home because her parents were in a toxic marriage, and because of that, they slack on a lot of stuff when it came to parenting, so she was telling me how she felt abandoned, and stuff. I think where we clicked wasknowing what that felt like for the family to be divided. I didn’t go into detail about you, and pops divorcing, but I did tell her that ya’ll weren’t together anymore. She ended up being a cool girl. When I saw her at school, we would talk, hug, and that was it. Last night, she hit me, telling me that she was having a little get together at her crib because her parents were out of town. I know I wasn’t supposed to go, but I think there was this part of me that didn’t want her to look at me like some lame boy that don’t be sneaking out the house and stuff. I did that for my own personal reasons. Legend didn’t want to go. He was the one telling me that it wasn’t a good idea, and how I needed to leave that white girl alone, and other stuff. That’s all,” I finished.
“That’s not all. How did you end up in her room? It’s like I don’t even want to hear the answer to this shit, but did you have sex with her?” she wanted to know.
“Nah. We didn’t have sex. I only went up there because she said that she had to use the bathroom. While she handled her business in the bathroom, I was waiting for her in her room. She came out, we talked for a little bit, and we kissed. You probably don’t care to hear this part, but I went the extra mile, put my hands up under her dress and stuff, but before we could do anything else, her bedroom door opened, and it was her daddy walking in. He started wilding from the moment he saw me in there. He immediately started throwing all of this out of proportion, talking about I raped his daughter, and other wild accusations. He knew them cops, and detectives, so everything that he was saying, they were going along with it. I was in there, defending myself, telling them that he was lying on me, and to shut me up, they put me in cuffs, and took me to the police station. They had me sitting in there for a couple of hours until the detectives game. They was playing a dirty game, ma. If pops didn’t teach me the things he did about them pigs, I would have cracked and let them walk me down a road that I wasn’tsupposed to go, confessing to something that I knew I shouldn’t have done,” I finished this time, and when I was done, her eyes were watering up.
I knew her ass was about to start crying. The second she blinked, a tear fell, and I felt bad for making my mama cry, so I reached my hand out to wipe it away, but she lifted hers, knocking my hand out of the way, as if she didn’t want me touching her.
“This could have ended bad, Creed. I thank God that you have the kind of father that you do because you gotta know if it was any different, your ass would have still been sitting in there. You’re a black boy, Creed. You like to walk around with your pants hanging off your ass, goldz in your mouth, and when me and Law get on you about that, you think that we’re being dramatic, but as a black kid, it’s just certain shit that you can’t do. The world is already your enemy, and you can’t be giving them a reason to see you drown. It was one thing for you to sneak out and go to the party. I don’t approve that, but I would have taken that over you going up there in the room with that girl. The second she offered you to go upstairs to her bedroom, your answer should have been no. Let’s say you did have sex with her, right? Now, a week from now, you decide that you no longer want to deal with her on that kind of level, and you leave her high, and dry. What you think that girl would have done? She probably didn’t scream rape tonight, but I guarantee you that she would have screamed it then. When you make decisions, you gotta make them on the sole basis of what your decision making can do for your future. Future would have been over with because you thought that it was a good idea to talk to a girl that’s known you since you were six years old, and her ass never offered you anything as little as a ‘hi’. You have a brain. Use that shit!” she snapped, putting her finger on my forehead, and tapping against it, so that I could fully understand her point.
I just nodded. I didn’t have anything else to say, so I kept quiet.
We sat in silence for about five minutes.
“Soraya! Let’s go!” I heard my pops bark from downstairs.
My heart started beating out my ass, praying that he wasn’t going to come up here. I looked over at my mama, pleading with her with my eyes, basically asking her if she could calm that nigga down. I knew that if anyone could, it would be her.
“I gotta leave with ya’ll? Ma, that man gone kill me,” I pleaded, and as she got off the bed, she was laughing.
“If your daddy wanted to kill you, he would have done it already. We’re about to fly back to New York. You and your brother are staying here with your grandma until we get back. We’ll be back late tonight,” she responded, and I nodded my head.
“I feel like my relationship with pops gone change. I let him down. I know he hate me,” I said, not even trying to gaslight her. I was being dead ass serious.
She came over to me, and she stood right in front of me. My head dropped, and she put her hand on the bottom of my chin, lifting my head up.
“You don’t even believe that. There’s nothing in the world that you, and your brother could do that’ll make your father hate you. He’s very disappointed, and he’s hurt more than anything because this feels like a slap in the face to him, especially with all the sacrifices that he makes for you and Legend on a daily. I’m sure you apologized already, but when we get back from New York, and when he calms down, you make sure that you have a sit down with him, and you offer him another sincere apology. Think about what you want to say while we’re away,” she let me know.
“Aight,” was all I said, and she kissed my forehead before letting my chin go.
“Soraya! Let’s go! He snuck out the fuckin house bruh and was just in handcuffs. Now ain’t the time for you to be babying him, yo!” he snapped from downstairs.
“Sevyn, I’m coming! I wasn’t babying him! We were having a conversation!” she yelled back at his ass.
“Let me go before I get my ass in trouble next,” she said, kissing me one last time, and then she left out of the room, quickly walking out.
Moments later, I could hear the sound that the alarm made from the front door opening, so I breathed a sigh of relief, happy that his ass had left out. The fact that he didn’t even come up here with me to let me know he was leaving proved to me that he was still pissed.
