I look over at Stone again, now cooing softly to the ostriches like they’re babies as he tries to pet their creepy, bald heads. The man has been a pain in my ass since the day he moved in next door to me. He makes it his mission on a daily basis to test my patience and drive me insane. He keeps me on my toes and makes me laugh. He makes me feel alive and loved with every sweet and dirty word he whispers into my ear when we climb into bed together at night. Life with him will never be dull, that’s for damn sure.
Am I ready for this wedding?
“Let’s do it,” I answer, reaching for Stone’s free hand and lacing my fingers through his. “But you’re walking those damn birds over to the park. No way in hell are they getting into my car.”
He scoffs. “Rude. They’re just a couple of cuties. Aren’t you both so cute? Yes, you are.” He baby talks at the ostriches who don’t seem all that amused by the treatment.
Yup, this is the man I’ve fallen in love with. For better or worse.
The park is close enough that we all decide to walk rather than deal with all of our cars. That should make it easier to scatter if the police actually do show up. West stays behind to redirect guests as they show up.
I’ve gotta hand it to Ren, the park really is the perfect spot for a wedding. There isn’t another soul in sight, and the small lake surrounded by trees is like something out of a movie. The ducks floating on the surface of the water scatter with loud quacks when they see the ostriches, and both dogs immediately make a dash towards the water.
“Shit,” I grumble, tackling Rudy right before he launches himself into the air, while Cole fishes Nards out of the reeds. That little bugger is fast when he’s determined.
He pants and barks happily, splattering Cole and I as he wags his sopping wet tail.
“Dare,” Stone calls.
I stand up, keeping a tight grasp on Rudy’s collar. I turn around to find Stone standing under a weeping willow a few yards away. There are pink wildflowers blooming all around it, attracting some butterflies and bumble bees. My throat tightens and my heart flutters.
“What do you think?” he asks, spreading his arms to gesture broadly.
I clear my throat so I can answer. “It’s perfect.”
The next few minutes are a whirlwind as everyone jumps in to get everything organized and the guests start arriving. There aren’t any seats, so Ren directs people where to stand while Stone and I get into place right under the tree.
“Oh here, hold this,” Stone says, holding the ostrich leashes out towards Cole.
“This feels wildly outside the duties of a best man,” he mutters, taking the leashes and eyeing the birds just as mistrustfully as I’ve been.
One of them makes a high pitched chirping sound and nuzzles Cole with its beak.
“Aw, I think that ostrich has a little crush,” Ren teases his husband.
“Sorry, I’m married,” Cole informs the bird, who puffs up its feathers and makes a more aggressive noise this time. “But, uh, we can be friends?”
“I think everyone is here,” my nephew, West, says, joining us as part of the last wave of guests that arrive. He takes his place on my other side as my best man. Lucky for him, he only has to hold Nards’ leash.
“Let’s do this,” Daniel says, rubbing his hands together and then pulling out his phone to play the wedding march.
We decided to keep it simple, but we couldn’t resist theawwfactor of Livi as flower girl, walking down the makeshift aisle with our furry little ring bearer in tow. Everyone coos as she tosses the flower petals and then does a little curtsey when she reaches us.
Stone stoops down, getting some wet smooches from Rudy as he unties the rings from the pillow around his neck. He pats the dog on the head.
“Thanks my little chicken bro’ne.” He kisses his snout, then stands back up and turns to face me.
Daniel keeps his phone handy, reading off of it as he launches into a traditional but brief ceremony that’s interrupted only twice by the ostriches trying to undo Cole’s belt, and once more by an angry goose that’s brave enough to wander over and getinto a fight with Nards. All in all, it’s about how I pictured my wedding to Stone; full of chaos and absolutely perfect.
“I now pronounce you married. Go ahead and kiss,” he declares.
I grab Stone by the lapels of his tux and drag him close with a rough tug, slamming my lips against his. I can feel the shape of his smile as he kisses me back, going immediately for full tongue because he’s Stone and of course that’s what he would do in front of both our families. Fuck me, but I wouldn’t want my chaos goblin of a husband any other way.
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