“Which one?” He had taken so many that it was hard to tell which one he was talking about.
“The sky hook.”
“Yeah, it was awesome,” I lied. I had no idea what he was talking about. “Great win.” I gave him a half-hearted high-five and walked back to the wheel to spin for the next event.
I couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed that Tanner had ignored me so much. I hadn’t been playing badly. Why hadn’t he wanted my help?
Oh well. I decided to chalk it up as a bit of over-competitiveness. Guys were weird about basketball. The next event would be different.
My spin landed on Angry Swans. At first I thought it was going to be related toAngry Birds, but it turned out to just be a swan boat race.
There were a bunch of heats, but it was tied by the time we got to the final race: Tanner and me vs Cole and Chastity.
All the horrible spin classes finally paid off, because I was actually pretty decent at it. Despite that, we still fell behind a bit. Three quarters of the way through the course, they were a full turn ahead of us.
“We’re never going to catch them,” I said.
“What if we didn’t have to?” asked Tanner.
“What do you mean?”
“How much do you know about 18thcentury naval warfare?”
“Uh…”
Tanner turned the rudder and started peddling like hell. “Ramming speed!” he yelled as we cut through the water directly towards Cole and Chastity’s boat.
“What are you doing?!” I yelled. “Turn!” But it was too late.
Tanner masterfully guided us right into their broadside. Chastity shrieked as the head of their swan boat was taken clean off. And I shrieked too, because the force of the collision sent me flying into the lake. The decapitated swan’s head bobbed in the water next to me before sinking below the surface.
“Take that!” yelled Tanner. He looked back and laughed as he peddled off towards the finish line…with me still stuck in the lake.
Stupid competitive asshole.
I started to tread water, but the lake was way colder than I’d expected. My muscles started to seize up and my teeth were chattering. I was about to freak out until I saw that Cole and Chastity had forfeited the race to come to save me.
Cole leaned over the side of their half-destroyed boat and stuck his hand out for me. “Grab on.”
I reached up and Cole effortlessly pulled me into his boat. He rubbed his arm on my back to help warm me up as they peddled up back to shore. Rather than complaining to Ocelot about psycho-Tanner trying to kill him, he instead ran and got me a towel.
“Thanks,” I said. Cole may have been the enemy, but right now he was acting more like my knight in shining armor.
“No problem. And make sure you hang on to that towel…you’re going to need it after you lose.” He winked and walked away.
Oh God.Why was I going to need a towel? I hoped it was because of more water rather than bodily fluids.
This Is War - Chapter 24 - #FreeTheNipple
Saturday – September 23, 2023
I didn’t have a chance to fully dry off before Ocelot called Chastity and me back to the wheel.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” began Ocelot into his megaphone. “After going down 13 to 4, the red team has won an impressive four events in a row. If they can get one more victory, then it’ll all come down to the grand finale. Princess Chastity, would you please do the honors and spin for the next event?”
Chastity stepped up and tugged on the wheel. It spun and spun and spun. As it finally started to slow, I read the events that it might land on. Flag football, chicken fight, three-legged race, slip n’ slide, sword fight… I wondered if that would be an actual fencing match, or if the guys would have to whip out their dongs and have a good old-fashioned locker-room sword fight. Knowing the Society, it easily could have been either. Alas, it was not to be. The wheel clicked past sword fight and landed on freedom race.
Freedom race?What the hell was a freedom race?
