So what about it caught my eye? Was it like the Mona Lisa, with eyes that follow you around the room? Nope. Definitely not. My eyes went right to the crotch of the painting. Someone had added a sculpted penis to give it a 3D element. And it wasn’t just any old penis. It was huge.Or is that just the perfect proportion for a penis?
I glanced down at the placard describing the piece: HAZING THE NOOB by RYDER STORM.
Ryder designed this?I hadn’t realized he was such a talented painter. Or sculptor. Oh, that’s why the security guard thought it was funny that I was searching for Ryder Storm. Because this penis sculpture was by Ryder Storm. He thought I was just looking for the dick art. I giggled to myself.
But wow…the penile part really did look lifelike. So lifelike that it seemed to keep moving. It wasn’t a lot, but it was enough for me to notice. I looked around to make sure the guard hadn’t followed me in. Then I ducked under the velvet rope to get a closer look. And then I poked it.
I had expected it to be hard and ceramic, but instead it felt soft and…flesh-like. It swayed a little bit.
I poked it again a little harder. It swayed more. And then the hips of the painting pivoted and the penis swung towards me.
I let out a squeal and stepped back. I knew I’d had a lot of champagne, but not enough to make me hallucinate nearly being molly-whopped by a fake dong.
I squinted and stared at the painting.What the hell am I looking at here?Most of it was in fact a painting, but part of it had been cut away to reveal the naughty bits of a man standing behind the wall.
Oh, duh!I was the noob. And Ryder was hazing me. Which meant I was looking athispenis. My heartbeat doubled the second I realized it. I was looking at Ryder’s penis!
So this was his secret, huh? That he had a giant penis. I mean, as far as secrets go…it was a pretty good one.
Then a horrible thought washed over me.What if he was telling the truth about having a flaming genie penis?I looked down at my finger. It didn’t seem like it was decaying, but now that I thought about it, it did tingle a little…
I needed to find a way to know if all my skin was about to melt off. So I grabbed a little rubber statue off a nearby display and lightly whacked it against his penis. If his penis was dangerous, I figured it would melt the statue. Which it didn’t. In fact, the only thing that happened was that Ryder started to get erect. And more erect… And more erect.
He wasn’t quite as big as the stacked soda cans that Chastity had warned me about, but he was probably a solid nine inches. And thick.
I gave him one more whack, and that was when I realized that the “rubber statue” I was hitting him with was a big floppy dildo. I burst out laughing.
“You like that?” I asked.
He thrusts his hips a little to make his cock bounce up and down in a motion that clearly meant yes.
Poor guy. If only he knew that he was sword fighting a dildo.
I felt like I should make it up to him. Right? I mean, it was only the polite thing to do. I couldn’t just get him all aroused and then leave him there. Wouldn’t that make his balls turn blue and explode?Yeah, that sounds right.And I couldn’t walk away, as per Single Girl Rule #24: No blue balls allowed. Finish what you start.
I took a step closer.What am I thinking? I can’t do this in the middle of a museum!But for some reason, it didn’t matter that I told myself no. I wanted to do something crazy. I wasn’t Ashley Cooper tonight. I was Raven freaking Black. And Raven Black was sexy and confident. Or at least, I wanted to be. And the other thing I’d wanted? For weeks? Ryder. Blowing him behind a painting wasn’t on my list of things to try. But I could always add it later and then cross it off. It was a win-win.
I slowly reached out my hand and ran my thumb along his tip.
And he groaned.Oh God.I loved that sound. I wanted to hear it over and over again. And the fact that he groaned because of what I was doing just made it even more exhilarating.
I looked around to make sure we were still alone, and then I did what any reasonable girl would have done: I wrapped my hand around his beautiful shaft and started pumping up and down. He pulsed in my hand.
I looked over my shoulder again to make sure no one was looking. How had Ryder known that almost getting caught was a fantasy of mine?
I kept stroking faster and faster. My arm started to get tired after a minute though. And there was too much friction with my hand. Which left me with only one choice.
Actually, I had two choices. I could have used the lotion in my purse. But I wanted to use my mouth instead. Don’t judge me. I hadn’t had sex in like a year. And believe me - if you had such a beautiful erection in front of you, you’d want it in your mouth just as badly as I did. Plus it was Ryder. I’d been fantasizing about him for months.Screw playing hard to get.Blowing him was a way better option. Chastity always said the best way to a man’s heart was to suck his cock. Or something like that. I didn’t love giving head. But I loved Ryder. I immediately shook my head.Liked him. I liked him.I didn’t love him. That would be…crazy. And I wasn’t crazy.
I ignored the thoughts racing through my mind as I stared at his cock. I was overthinking this. I’d been wanting to take things further with Ryder for weeks. This was my chance. And if he happened to fall in love with me in the process? Great.
Besides, it wasn’t just Single Girl Rule #24 spurring me on. It was also #23: Never back down from a huge cock. #Fearless. And no, I didn’t just slay it with that perfectly executed hashtag.#Fearless was part of rule #23. Because of course it was, since I was 85% sure that Chastity had made them all up. And she was the master of hashtags. But…I wasn’t a little bitch. And I wasn’t going to back down from Ryder’s huge cock.
The painting was a few feet off the ground, so his penis was right at mouth level. I didn’t have to kneel or anything. I just took a step forward and flicked my tongue ever so gently against his tip. I’d like to pretend that it was a sexy move, but really I was just checking to see if it tasted clean. I wasn’t about to shove some dirty cock in my mouth, even if it did belong to Ryder Storm. When my tongue detected freshly cleaned skin - albeit with a hint of salty pre-cum - I moved on to the shaft. I held his cock up as I licked him from his balls all the way to his tip. And then I corralled him with my mouth.
Ryder groaned from behind the wall.
That’s right.
