“You used all the soap,” the manager said.
What?I looked down. Sure enough, the refill for the soap dispenser was completely empty.
“And the bathroom is for customers only.”
I stared at him. We both knew that the public restroom rules at Starbucks weren’t regularly enforced. But it didn’t seem like he was backing down.
And to be fair…I had just used all his soap. And whatever Nigel had done to the door had pretty much destroyed it.
“I’d like a variety of pastries, please,” I said. “And five bottles of water.”
He raised his eyebrows. “No shoes, no shirt, no service.”
“I’m wearing shoes. And this is a fashionable dress.” I gestured to my towel. “Please, I’m starving. And I’m going to pass out from dehydration…”
He held up his hands to stop me. “Fine. But you need to come pay at the register.”
I followed him back out of the restroom and past Chastity flirting with the firemen. She’d somehow convinced one of them to take his shirt off. I really didn’t know how she could be flirting at a time like this.
I paid for all my food and water with a credit card, because I couldn’t fathom touching anything else dirty like loose change.
And then I sat down at a table and ate one pastry after another. Luckily everyone was more focused on the firefighters than on me. Because I definitely had food all over my face. I took another big bite as I looked over at Chastity and all the firemen. One of them was still trying to figure out what had happened to the door.Stupid Nigel.
I downed a water bottle and slowly started to feel like myself again. I looked down at the rest of the pastries and bottles of water. Had I ordered too much food? I was pretty sure I’d just panic-eaten three pastries. But I had no idea how to know for sure. I was almost positive I had blacked out. I downed another bottle of water.
The firemen finally left and Chastity walked back over to me.
“Stress eating?” she asked and lifted up a pastry.
“We almost died.”
She laughed. “The ceiling had those push-up tiles. We could have been in the vents within minutes.”
“Then why didn’t we do that?!”
“Because I wanted to see some firemen.”
I glared at her.
“We’re fine. You’re fine. God, how many water bottles did you just pound? You’re going to have to go to the bathroom again.”
“Never.”
She laughed.
But damn it. She was right. I already had to pee. I crossed my legs under the table. “How long do you think Nigel is going to be?”
“I don’t know…he probably knew we’d escape fairly quickly. He should be back any minute now.”
But the minutes actually did turn to hours. We waited and waited and waited for Nigel. Until I had to use the horrifying restroom again. I refused to close the door and just made Chastity stand guard.
We waited until the hipsters all left. And the manager told us they were closing. And then we waited outside for another hour. Until my fifth water bottle kicked in and we had no choice but to head back to our apartments.
“God, I can’t believe my luck,” I said as we waited for our Uber. “What are the odds that Tanner would get taken like two seconds after finally confessing his love to me?”
“Whoa whoa whoa. Hold everything! Tanner said he loves you?”
“Yeah.”
