Chastity and I looked at each other. That didn’t make any sense.
“Please just help us, Homeless Rutherford!” I yelled.
“Would you cut it out,” Chastity said. “That’s not Homeless Rutherford. And you’ll scare the person off. Do you want to get out of here or not?”
“Of course I want to get out!”
“Then shush! I’ll handle this.” Chastity turned back to the door. “We’ve unlocked it on our side. It must be jammed or something.”
“Ma’am, please unlock the door.”
“Excuse me?” She turned to me. “Did he just call me ma’am?”
I nodded. Knowing full well that any semblance of calm that Chastity was maintaining was about to be thrown out the window.Oh God, there are no windows in here!I gasped for air.
“I’m not a ma’am!” she yelled through the door.
“Oh. Sorry, sir.”
“What?!” she screamed. “Let me out of here right this second!”
The knob wiggled but nothing happened.
“Let us out!” She banged on the door with the side of her fist. “Or I’ll sue you to oblivion!”
“I need to pee,” someone mumbled from the other side of the door.
Honestly we were saving them. They certainly didn’t want to pee in this germ-infested hell hole. All I could do was stare at the floor puddle and relive Incident #6 over and over again in my head. I’d told Tanner I loved him. And then I flung myself off his yacht. And then I flashed everyone. And then Tanner was taken. It was like the incident that wouldn’t stop. Was it actually four incidents in one? “Good God, my life is over!”
Chastity ignored me and kept banging on the door.
It took exactly five hours of yelling back and forth and then another five for the firemen to arrive. “It’s been ten hours!”
Chastity laughed. “It’s been thirty minutes. Stop it.”
“Ten hours!”
Chastity showed me her phone. “Nope.”
I was pretty sure her phone was broken.
“How do my tits look?” she asked, sticking out her chest. “These firefighters are gonna besoexcited when they burst in and see us. Oh! Maybe you should take your towel off.”
“I’m not going to do that.”
Chastity shrugged. “Suit yourself. But don’t say I didn’t try to help you. I’m not about to break Single Girl Rule #13: Always wing woman for the girl with the longest active dry spell.”
I know she said it had only been thirty minutes. But I was definitely out of air. And severely dehydrated. And starving beyond belief. Being locked up didn’t suit me. But I did my best to sob quietly as the firemen hacked away at the hinges of the bathroom door.
The door finally fell away.
“My heroes!” Chastity said and flung herself into the arms of one of the firemen.
I burst through the open doorway. “I need soap! Stat!” I was seconds away from fainting.
The manager quickly grabbed some soap to refill the dispenser. I took it from him and did the last thing I ever expected to do…I ran back into the bathroom.
I washed my hands ten times. And by hands, I mean my hands and arms all the way up to my pits. I finally took a deep breath.
