“You know how scared he was of DODO!”
“Exactly. Which means he would have fought them off with his strong biceps and fancy Odegaard gadgets if it was them taking him.”
“Or they caught him by surprise and now they’re going to torture and rape and murder him!”
“Tanner is not getting tortured or raped tonight. Unless that’s what he’s into,” she added with a wink.
“Chastity! This isn’t the time for kinky sex talk!”
“Sure it is. Because clearly the kidnapping was just a Society thing. He was probably just needed for an emergency sex auction or something.”
I paled.
“Which he won’t participate in, of course. Can you scooch a little to the left? I want to get a few shots of the chaos in case the photographer jumped overboard.” She snapped a picture of me looking an absolute mess before I could tell her no.
She snapped another. “Oh! I got a monkey in the background!”
A man with his sleeve on fire jumped off the side of the yacht.
Where had that fire come from? Was there an extinguisher somewhere? The last thing I needed was for someone’s dick to catch fire when my mini fire extinguisher wasn’t on me. Why had I left it at home? I already had too many incidents to keep track of!
There was a loud clap and all the monkeys froze again. Just like when Tanner had been commanding them.
I turned to see Nigel standing in the center of the deck with his hands pressed together. All the monkeys had turned to him. I had no idea where Tanner had gotten his animal training skills but it appeared that Nigel had been his direct understudy.
“Turn this boat around!” Nigel said in a commanding tone. Although his ridiculous lederhosen costume definitely made it a little less commanding.
The captain lifted the now docile monkey off the ship’s wheel and followed Nigel’s instructions.
Nigel was as calm as Chastity despite the chaos. And maybe he’d be more helpful. I grabbed Chastity’s hand and pulled her over to Nigel.
“We need your help!” I said to him.
Nigel grabbed the sword out of Chastity’s hands. “No touching the antiques, whoever you are!”
Chastity ignored him and snapped a selfie of her with one of the monkeys. She made the little guy put his hands on her breasts before snapping another.
“Nigel, Tanner’s been taken,” I said.
“By…whom?” Nigel asked.
“The Society,” Chastity said and finally put her phone away.
“No, it was DODO!” I screamed.
He immediately slapped me across the face. “Stop it, you’re being hysterical.”
Did Nigel just slap me?I put my hand to my cheek.
“Wait.” He blinked at me. “How do you know about DODO?”
“How doyouknow about DODO?” I asked.
“Because I’m Tanner’s houseboy!”
“Well I’m Tanner’s girlfriend!”
“But there are some secretses you don’t share outside your houseboy! There are rules about these things. Good God, what has he done!?”
