That really got the crowd excited. She even got a few whistles.
I had to admit - it was a good move. I mean…how else should a girl accept an award for best ass? Props to Frankie. God knows I wouldn’t have had the confidence to do that.
The second award was for Best New Room. Ocelot gave the award to himself for his work on the sky box. Whatever the hell that meant.
Then some guy won best role-player. Chastity kept giving me a look that said, “You gonna fuck him?” I shook my head. Let’s just say he was lucky to be good at roleplaying, because his face was kinda busted.
“The next award goes to the member who brought in the most quality members throughout the last year. Four members recruited 100 plus members…but only one can win the award.” Frankie was a nominee. So was Ryder Storm. And…Ryder won it. Because of course he did, the little whore.
The spotlight searched the ballroom for him, but it couldn’t find him.
Come on, you promiscuous asshole! Show your face and come get your award.I had half a mind to whack him across the face with it. It would serve him right for recruiting over a hundred freaking women. Or maybe I was being too harsh. Maybe he’d just recruited me and a bunch of dudes.
“It appears Ryder couldn’t make it tonight,” said Ocelot. “But I think we can all agree that he really brought in some top-notch women.”
A bunch of guys cheered.
Gross.
I looked over at Chastity. She mouthed, “I’m sorry.”
I wanted to have more of a silent conversation about it, but Ocelot was moving on to the fifth award.
“This past year, I challenged all of you to create the best gif of someone wearing gray sweatpants. And let me just say…you all delivered spectacularly. Let’s take a look at the five finalists.” The wall behind Ocelot turned into a movie screen.
The first gif was a quick clip of two men in gray sweatpants running side by side on treadmills. They might as well have been naked, because their sweatpants did absolutely nothing to hide the outline of their cocks swinging around. And they werehuge.Like…Angel and Diablo big. Which made sense. Because when I finally bothered to look up at their faces, I realized that the swinging trouser snakes did indeed belong to Angel and Diablo.
Sweet lord.I knew gray sweatpants season was fun, but I’d never seen it likethis.Their cocks were just as big as I remembered.Did someone suddenly turn the heat on in here?
Then an idea hit me:Maybe I should make Tanner jealous with them… No!I couldn’t. Last time I’d seen them I’d called them rapists and ran away screaming. It would be incredibly awkwardto have to hand them one of these trophies. Or would I give themeachone?Ahhh!
The next gif featured a blonde guy who looked vaguely familiar. No, not Dr. Lyons or his alter ego Flint Ironside. But still familiar. Anyway, this gif was just him standing there with a huge erection plastered to his leg in his sweatpants. He gave the camera a little smile and a wink and pulled on his pants to make them even tighter.
First Angel and Diablo and now this blonde dude?Jesus.I looked over at Chastity, but she was too mesmerized by the gifs to notice me.
The next gif was a girl in tight gray sweatpants and a sports bra doing a very jiggly dance.Lame. Next please.
The final two were thankfully back to being gifs of men.
“And the winner is…” Ocelot opened the envelope. “Gif #2 - Karl!”
Karl!Fucking Karl!The pervy dude from the Finnish spa.I knew he looked familiar.But at least I wouldn’t have to deal with Angel and Diablo.
The spotlight found Karl and followed him to the stage. I had to admit, he looked good in his tuxedo. And he looked even better when he stopped at the top of the stairs and ripped his pants off. He was, of course, wearing gray sweatpants underneath. And his penis wasveryvisible.
It swung a little bit as he walked up the stairs towards me.
Shit!I’d been so mesmerized that I’d forgotten to grab his award. I turned and grabbed one of the big onyx dildos as fast as I could. When I spun back around to give it to him, my hand collided with something hard.
“Hey there,” he said. “At least invite me to dinner first.”
Did I just touch his penis?I definitely did.What is wrong with me?!It had been a few weeks since I’d done something rapey. I’d thought I’d outgrown it for a minute there. But nope…I was still a rapist.
I handed him the award and went in for a hug. At the last second I was like…wtf why am I about to hug him? So I decided to play it by the book and give him the required kiss on the cheek. I’d already botched this handoff enough. It was best to finish strong. But of course I missed and kissed him right on the lips.
Fuck!
Someone in the crowd whistled.
