“Can you tell me the safe word?”
“No.” She ran off.
“Why won’t anyone tell me the safe word?!”
“You’re going to be fine,” said Chastity. “But I think that pretty much confirms you’ve been wifey-zoned.”
“Hmm…I don’t know.” I fidgeted with one of my gloves. “What if the hot goss about Tanner is that he’s always a perfect gentleman and has never slept with anyone, despite all the girls here throwing themselves at him?”
“Maybe. I’m happy to ask around if you need me to confirm. The way I see it, we have three primary objectives this evening.” She held up three fingers. “First, we need to establish that Tanner has in fact wifey-zoned you. Then we need to find a hot guy for you to fuck so that Tanner’s head explodes. And finally, we need to get someone to tell us what building we’re in right now so that we can find our way back and do it all over again as many times as we need to in order to get you out of the wifey-zone.”
“Okay. That’s a good list.”Except the part about me fucking a stranger.“But can I add something?”
“Sure.”
I held up the instructions from Frankie. “We have to memorize these immediately.” Being on stage was terrifying. But being on stage without knowing what the heck I was supposed to be doing? That was literally the worst thing I could possibly imagine ever happening to me.
We both read through the instructions. Luckily our jobs were nice and simple. The one handing out awards just had to stand there and give an Onyxy to each winner as they came up on stage. The other had to escort the winner to the green room after they gave their acceptance speech.
“Which job do you want?” asked Chastity. “It sounds like the greenroom escort will have the perfect opportunity to flirt with the winners. Could be a great way for you to find a lover.”
Lover? Ew.“You can have that job.”
“Me fucking a winner won’t make Tanner jealous.”
“I meant so that you can flirt with the winners and try to get some info out of them. I bet you’ll know everything about Tanner and the exact address of this place by the time I hand out the second award.”
“Challenge accepted. Eeeep! This is going to be so fun!” She reached out and squeezed both my boobs.
I tried to swat her away. “What the hell are you doing?” It was official. She’d completely lost it.
Stalker Problems - Chapter 54 - Gray Sweatpants GIFs
Wednesday – May 31, 2023
Chastity reached out again to honk my knockers.
“Would you stop it?” I successfully swatted her away this time. “Seriously…what are you doing?”
“Single Girl Rule #20: You may squeeze your friend’s boobs no more than twice to compliment a good outfit. I was just telling you that you looked amazing. And you barely let me get a honk and a half in. That outfit deserves two full squeezes for sure.”
“That’s not a rule.”
“I told you there were some new ones since you were last single. Did you even bother to read the list I gave you?”
No. I had not. “Why would you add that one?”
“How many times do I have to tell you? I didn’t make these rules up. But I’m pretty sure it was added as a precaution since so many people are fluid now or something. It goes against the spirit of the Single Girl Rules for a girl to flirt with a girl who doesn’t know the other girl is a lesbian, you know?”
“Sure.” I honestly had stopped listening to what she was saying. I was so damned nervous! “I can’t believe you think this is going to be fun. I don’t think I’ve ever been this nervous in my life. There’s like a 100% chance that I’m going to trip and fall down the stairs while handing out an award.”
“You’ll be fine. You just have to stand there and look pretty. I’m the one who has to do all the hard work. How do my boobs look?” She reached into her bra and adjusted the girls.
“Amazing as always.”
She smiled. “Well good. I wasn’t sure because you didn’t squeeze them. It makes me feel better that you just didn’t know about the new rule. Let’s hope the winners agree with you!”
“Places! Places everyone!” yelled Ocelot. “We’re on in 60 seconds!”
