“Since when can vampires silently construct the world’s biggest closet? That was nowhere in the literature.”
“Do you have a better explanation?” Chastity’s phone buzzed before I could answer. “Oh! Tanner has an incoming call.” She hit a few buttons and then Tanner’s phone call was playing through her speakers.
“We’ve got a problem,” said a deadpan voice. Marty the PI. I’d recognize his voice anywhere.
“Talk to me,” said Tanner.
“Your email has been compromised.”
“Impossible.”
“Then how do you explain your email being accessed by two different IP addresses this morning?”
“Maybe I left it open on my laptop?”
“Nope. The second IP was masked with some pretty sophisticated code. It was definitely malicious.”
“Shit. Do you think it’s dodo?” Tanner suddenly soundedverynervous. I’d never heard him like that before.
Dodo?
“Could be. Either way, you need to trash your phone and laptop ASAP. And any other device you’ve used to access your email in the last 24 hours.”
“Got it. Thanks for the heads up.” Tanner’s words were followed by a splash, a loud cracking noise, and then silence.
“Did he just throw his phone in a puddle and stomp on it?” I asked.
Chastity turned her phone towards me. Dexter’s app displayed a big error message: CONNECTION LOST. “Yup.”
“Well…at least we got a name of who he’s afraid of. Dodo.”
“Like the extinct bird? Or like…two female deer?”
“He said it like it was all one word. Let’s assume for a moment that he doesn’t have an irrational fear of extinct birds. That means dodo must be…an organization? Or an acronym?” I opened Google and searched for dodo. The first result was TheDodo.com. From what I could tell it featured a bunch of cute animals and encouraged pet adoptions.
“Aw, they’re so cute. I’ve always wanted to get a little dog that I could carry around in my purse. Wouldn’t that be perfect for me?”
“Only if you want your entire apartment to be covered in hair. #SatanStalin.” I shuddered.
“Um…what did you just say?” asked Chastity.
“#SatanStalin. Because dogs are the offspring of Satan and Stalin.”
“No they aren’t. They’re poofy little adorable things.”
“Agree to disagree. Because I’m right and you’re a fascist.”Or a communist?I really needed to brush up on my World War 2 history. “Anyway, let’s try to stay focused. Is Tanner scared of the people who own this site?” A video of a kitten drinking from a baby bottle popped up on the homepage. “I’m not really getting murderous cartel vibes here.”
“I don’t know,” said Chastity. “Animal rights people can get nasty. Maybe Tanner got caught wearing fur? Ohhh! Or maybe he’s a big game hunter.”
“Those are definitely weird rich person things to do. But I don’t think that’s it. That wouldn’t create an unpayable debt. He could make those people happy by giving PETA a big donation. Or by posing nude for one of their ad campaigns.” A wonderful image popped into my head. I shook my head and tried to focus.
“I agree. I don’t think animal activists are the ones he’s afraid of. And Tanner doesn’t seem like a hunter. The only big game I could see him hunting is cougars. Winky face.” Chastity laughed at her own joke.
What the hell?Really…what did she mean by that? Had she seen Tanner hanging out with a bunch of old ladies recently or something? Before I could ask, Chastity composed herself and started talking again.
“What else comes up for dodo? Maybe it’s an acronym?”
“Let’s see…” I addedacronymto my search and three possibilities came up. “Dealer Owned Dealer Operated. Apparently referring specifically to the petroleum industry?”
