I sighed. “Yeah, yeah. I know the rule. Girls’ night is every Friday. No exceptions.”Damn it, those crazy rules!
"And if you're not feeling well, that means more cookies and drinks for the rest of us," said Madison, protectively cradling her Oreos and six-pack of wine coolers.
"I'm actually pretty hungry. Here, let's get those in the fridge." I pried the bottles out of her death-grip and took them into the kitchen. I cracked one open for myself, offered one to Chastity, and then hid a few in the back of the fridge. No one had ever taught Madison's cheap ass that it's polite to leave whatever's left of the food you bring to a party, so I had taken to hiding half of whatever she brought. At least she brought something, though. Liz always arrived with nothing more than a bad attitude and a penchant for falling asleep before 9.
Once we were all settled on the couch, Madison asked what was new with everyone. Chastity told us about her latest Tinder match. Liz shrugged and said nothing. Then they looked at me.
I took a sip of my wine cooler to buy some time to think of an answer that wasn't horribly shameful. "Mainly just getting ready for my first day of work."
"I can’t wait for you to come work with us!” said Madison. “It’ll be like we’re back in high school. This is so exciting!"
"Yeah," I said with mock enthusiasm. "It's gonna be so much fun waking up at 6 am every morning and having to put on pants."
"Pants are a great choice," said Madison. "I don’t know if they've done any studies on it, but I have a suspicion that women whowear pants are more likely to makealmostas much as men doing the same jobs. It's one small way to trick the patriarchy..."
Chastity shook her head. "I respectfully disagree. You gotta go skirts all the way. The shorter the better. How do you think I got you this job at BIMG?"
I knew it.
Madison glared at her and took a huge swig of alcohol. “Please tell me you’re joking. That’s the sort of thing that’s ruining…”
"Hey," I said, cutting her off before this conversation really got out of hand. "How about we watch a movie or something?"
"Good idea," agreed Chastity. “I think Spaceboy is performing on the Night Show tonight and I’ve been secretly dying waiting for you to say it was okay to turn on the TV. Ah! They’re on!”
Madison snatched the remote from her. “What are you doing? Ash doesn’t want to watch that.”
I don’t?
"Why not?" asked Chastity.
"She used to love listening to Spaceboy with...him,"said Madison.
She can't even say Joe's name?"You can say his name, you know,” I said. “Joe, Joe, Joe. It's not a big deal. I'm over it. And yes, I did used to listen to Spaceboy with him. And yes, one ortwo of their songs still remind me of him. But their new stuff is amazing.”
“And don’t forget about how hot they are,” said Chastity.
“Amen to that.” I took a sip of my wine cooler and then lifted my wine glass in my free hand. Who knew the combination of wine and wine coolers was so scrumptious?
“They’re okay,” said Madison.
Chastity stared at her in disbelief. “Uh, are you blind? Look at them!” She pointed to the screen as it zoomed up on DJ Spaceboy’s perfect face. Or what we could see of it. As always, most of his face was covered by a futuristic visor. But his soft lips and magnificent jawline were left exposed. “The things I’d let him do to me with those lips…”
“Wait,” I said, turning to her. “I thought he was dead to you?” I actually remembered perfectly, because that meant DJ Spaceboy was all mine.
“He was. But I’ve forgiven him. I thought about it more, and I realized that it was my fault that he ignored me. I mean…I flashed him in like, the most boring way possible. Pulling up my t-shirt and just letting my boobs flop out works on most guys, but DJ Spaceboy is a freaking rock star. He probably sees like twenty boobs a day. Maybe even twenty pairs. If I want to get a backstage pass, I’m gonna need to step up my flashing game.”
“How exactly does one step up their flashing game?” I asked.
Chastity put her drink down and scooched forward on the couch as if she was about to share something really important. “Well, first off, I’m not going to flash DJ Spaceboy. He gets all the attention, but his crew deserves attention too. So I’m going to dress up just like them - full space helmet, clingy body suit - and then slowly unzip it. I’m still toying with the idea of wearing nipple tassels underneath. Yes, it’s a little 1920s burlesque, but it would help get their attention. And it creates some mystery. Like…hey, I’ve got great tits, but if you wanna see the nips, you have to give me a backstage pass.”
“Why debase yourself just for a backstage pass?” asked Madison.
Chastity hit pause and walked over to the TV screen. “Exhibit A and B,” she said, pointing to the dancers’ crotches. Their clingy body suits did little to hide the rather large outline of their dicks as they thrust at the air. “Ash, back me up here. What would you do with these beautiful men if you got a backstage pass?”
Um…Sweat profusely? Try to unmask them to see if one of them was my stalker?Wait!Was DJ Spaceboy my stalker? I squinted and tried to picture my stalker with DJ Spaceboy’s visor on. Did they have the same chin?No.But that didn’t mean he wasn’t one of the two dancers. Their faces were completely covered. And they were both about the same height as my stalker… I pictured myself backstage, grabbing his huge cock through his spacesuit. Just like I’d done to Dr. Lyons.Oh God.Not that.If it was anything like that, he’d be limp. And then he’d toss me out and call security.
I reached for my bottle, but it was empty. My wine glass was empty too.Have my friends noticed that I’m double-fisting alcohol?Whatever. After today, I needed it. I ran intothe kitchen and grabbed another one of Madison's non-hidden bottles. As I passed the window on my way back, I glanced outside to see if the pizza guy had pulled up yet. Sure enough, the Nico’s delivery car was parked outside. I expected to see the pizza guy get out with my steaming hot 'za, but instead the car pulled away.
