Every morning, I leave her apartment and head out to the gym, where I train for the fight that is now just weeks away. I’ve had countless opportunities to tell her about it, but every time that opening comes, I retreat, shying away like a slinking coward.
Part of me wants to tell Eden about the exhibition match. Lies have never sat well with me, which is ironic considering I’ve spent the last five years of my life living the lie of a platonic brother-in-law. But the other half of me is terrified of losing this slice in time with Eden—with the woman I’ve been in love and lust with for so long—that I have somehow, through some twist of fate, been offered. I’m not fooling myself into believing it’s more, but it’s all I have—all I’ll ever have. And I’m not ready to let it go. Not yet.
So I’ve remained quiet.
And that silence weighs on me.
“I’ve been meaning to ask you if you think you can give me some time next week? I know you’ve been putting in more hours, and I can come to the gym in the morning or the evening. Doesn’t matter to me,” Caleb asks. Even though I’ve warned him about moving, his shoulders hunch as if preparing for me to say no. I bet he’s heard that often in his twenty-one years—that and worse. Much worse. Though we come from different backgrounds, we both sought out fighting for the same reasons—an escape.
He’s right; with the match so close, I return to the gym after work for a couple more hours before heading to Eden’s place. Jake has been working the hell out of me, and every minute is packed with some kind of conditioning, but I refuse to be one more person who disappoints Caleb.
“Yeah,” I agree. “Come through tomorrow morning. I’ll be there at five. We can work out for an hour before I start with Jake.”
His grin lights up his whole face, and he appears younger than his age. “Thanks, Knox. I really appreciate it.”
“No worries.” I nod. “Now, for real, can you stop moving so I can finish this?”
“Oh, yeah, yeah, my bad.” Another three minutes of silence. “Damn, I can’t wait to see you fight again. This is going to be the rematch of the fucking century,” he crows.
“You’re returning to MMA?” a low voice asks carefully from the cracked doorway.
Ice slides through my veins, transforming my blood into frost, freezing the breath in my lungs. Forcing my arm down and away from Caleb, I slowly rotate on my stool and face the door.
Eden stares at me, for once, her normally easy-to-read expression shuttered.
If her question hadn’t clued me in that she overheard Caleb, that inscrutable mask would have.
Denial and fear howl in my head as the ice in my chest starts to thaw, and the panic claws at me, sinking its talons deep, drawing blood that carries the metallic taste of dread.
I could lie.
I could evade the question and brush off Caleb’s statement as misinformation.
But I don’t. I can’t.
“Yes.”
For a second, that mask cracks, betraying the anger and gut-wrenching betrayal swirling beneath.
Completely oblivious, Caleb grins at her. “Yep, he’s facing Israel Clarkson again. A rematch of one of the best BFC fights ever. I wish I could go to Reno to see it live.” He sighs.
“In Reno?” she echoes, a thread of accusation running through her voice. Yes, Reno. The city where Connor died. But most of the big BFC matches happen there or Vegas, both cities being hugely popular locations. “When?”
The rawness in the hoarse question snaps my paralysis, and I stand, crossing the room to her. But she steps back, retreating from me, stabbing me in the chest. Her emotions radiate outward like a radar beacon, gaining heat and speed with each pulse.
“In about three weeks. November.”
She nods. “November,” she repeats in that flat tone that tells me nothing…and everything. “Do you mind if I leave for the rest of the day?”
We stare at each other for several long moments, and that silence is rife with condemnation and so much hurt that I curl my fingers around the doorjamb to keep from lurching forward.
“No,” I rasp. “I don’t mind.”
Her lips part as if she’s going to say something to me. And I wait, praying for anything but the cold that has turned her into this pillar of ice that’s freezing me out.
But she turns and walks away.
Leaving me.
