She didn’t know where she was going. She didn’t even know what she was going to do. There was only one thing clear in her mind: get her sister away.
Abby drove fast, propelled by an urgency she had no control over, a sensation that had no boundaries of thought or logic.
She knew there was a ferry crossing to the mainland in fifteen minutes and they had to be on it. She bought tickets at the terminal and drove the car onto the lower deck. Ellie was still numb, unseeing, unaware. As the ship’s ramps rose up and it began its journey across the sea towards the Tuscan coastline, Abby took Ellie up to the on-board cafe and bought her the strongest coffee she could get.
She got one for herself too and they sat at a table outside, Abby choosing the one furthest from the other passengers. She took hold of her espresso cup, added two sachets of sugar and downed it in one. She blinked and swallowed, waiting for the drink to shock her into a state of clarity.
‘Now you,’ she instructed Ellie, who was sitting staring at nothing, her coffee untouched.
Ellie’s glazed eyes moved across to Abby and she seemed to understand what Abby was saying. She looked down, was surprised to see a coffee there and lifted the cup to her lips. She drank some, wincing at the bitterness.
‘All of it,’ said Abby, adding sugar to Ellie’s coffee too, then watching as her sister tipped her head back until the cup was empty. Ellie put it back on the saucer as Abby sat tensely, waiting for a reaction, and then Ellie crumpled.
‘Mum,’ she wailed, tears beginning to roll down her cheeks. ‘What have I done?’
‘Pull yourself together,’ whispered Abby quickly, glancing over her shoulder to see if anyone was watching.
‘We’ve left her,’ Ellie wailed again.
‘Shush.’
‘But she’s all on her own. We didn’t even call an ambulance.’
‘It was too late.’
‘But what if it wasn’t?’
‘I checked.’
‘But what if there was somethi—’
‘I CHECKED,’ snapped Abby and Ellie recoiled. Abby took a deep breath. ‘Sorry. I didn’t mean to shout.’ She glanced around again but it was noisy up on the outer deck; the engine and the waves had drowned out her voice and no one was looking.
‘I...I...’ Ellie faltered, couldn’t seem to bring herself to speak. ‘Jesus, I killed her.’
‘Don’t ever say that again.’
‘But I did, I—’
Abby took hold of Ellie’s hands across the table, held them tight. ‘It was anaccident,’ she said. Ellie’s eyes were brimming over again; guilt and fear made her break Abby’s gaze.
‘Look at me,’ said Abby firmly, but Ellie wouldn’t. ‘Look at me,’ instructed Abby, giving a sharp shake to her sister’s hands until she raised her eyes. ‘It was an accident,’ repeated Abby. ‘An accident, an accident. Not deliberate. Not like what she did to you.’ They sat there for a few moments, neither saying anything. Then Ellie slowly pulled her hands away as she looked around her, taking in the endless blue horizon, seeming to notice for the first time that she was on a ferry. ‘Where are we going?’
‘I don’t know. A trip. We need some time. I need to figure it all out. What the best thing is to do.’
‘What about Matteo?’ asked Ellie.
Abby grimaced. She was well aware he’d be home later and he’d find Susanna on the terrace. As awful as it was, Abby had no idea what she could do about it. It was another problem on top of everything else and she just couldn’t deal with it right now.
‘I don’t know,’ she repeated.
The journey was short and within another fifteen minutes, passengers were being asked to return to their cars. Abby led Ellie downstairs and the girls waited silently while the ferry docked, before taking their turn to drive off.
Abby headed into Piombino town and parked up in a busy district, leaving Ellie in the car. She told her to wait and then crossed the road to a bank. Taking a deep breath to compose herself, she stepped into its air-conditioned interior. She went up to the first available cashier and smiled at the woman in her uniform shirt of white and green stripes.
‘I need to withdraw some money,’ she said in her stilted Italian.
‘How much would you like?’ asked the cashier.
