‘What’s up now?’
Ellie gritted her teeth. ‘You’re so...tight.’
‘I’m frugal!’
‘I’m not just talking about the money! It’s everything! You’re so tightly wound, so not relaxed! And look around you!’ Ellie waved her arm towards the beach. ‘You’re in the most perfect place with the most perfect life—’
‘It’s not as straightforward as you think.’
‘No? You want to swap?’
‘I needed to escape.’
‘Don’t we all.’
‘It was more than that.’ Abby looked at her uneasily. ‘I’ve needed to escape ever since I was small—’
‘I’ve settled up, girls.’ Susanna was standing next to the table, smiling carefully at them. Ellie had been so irritated she hadn’t even seen her mother leave. ‘Just popped to the till,’ continued Susanna, ‘while you were,’ she lowered her voice, ‘arguing.’
Abby started to protest, to get out her purse, and in exasperation, Ellie flounced out of the restaurant.
TWELVE
They drove back to the villa in strained silence. The car was unbearably hot; black seats burned bare skin and, even with the windows fully down, only a blast of warm air filled the car as it wound its way over the shimmering tarmac. Feeling faint from the heat, Ellie found herself smouldering at Abby further –she’s got enough money,why can’t she get a car where the air conditioning actually works?
She was first out and didn’t wait for Abby to open the front door but unlatched the side gate and made her way around the back to the terrace. As she approached, a lizard stopped dead on the flagstones. The sun beat down. The leaves on the lemon trees in the large terracotta pots were utterly still. Ellie felt a rivulet of sweat trickle down her lower back. She heard the patio doors slide open behind her. Her shoulders stiffened.
‘Are you all right? Ellie?’
It was her mother. Her voice was soft, gentle and full of understanding, and it triggered neuron pathways that had been set when she was a child, sick and reliant on her rock of a mother. Embarrassingly, Ellie felt herself well up. She quickly brushed away the tears.
Susanna came out and walked over to her, resting a hand on her shoulder. ‘Why don’t I get you a drink?’ she said and then went back inside.
Ellie looked down at the lizard. It was still there, not even an eyelid blinking. The sun was burning her shoulders and she half thought about moving into some shade. She heard footsteps behind her and turned – she was so thirsty – but it was Abby standing there, not her mother. Abby crossed the terrace until she was standing next to her.
‘I know you think I have everything I could ever want...a charmed life...’ said Abby. ‘But you could have the same too.’
‘Oh, pur-lease,’ said Ellie.
‘But youcould.’
‘I was not given the gifts you were, Abby. Or if I was, they were stunted in childhood.’
‘No, but that’s the point. All those years you felt your illness was holding you back—’
‘Itwasholding me back. I was too ill to learn. It affected everything. Whereas you – you were able to do whatever you wanted. You just...took off, and I was left on the sidelines. No Girl Scouts, no trampoline club, no going to friends’ houses to play, half the time not even any school...just a struggle, everything a struggle. You didn’t even look back over your shoulder. Thank God for Mum. She understood, not just that I was ill, but what it was doing to me.’
Abby was watching her, a contorted look on her face.Maybe some of this is finally getting through, thought Ellie.
‘Mum didn’t care what it was doing to you,’ said Abby.
Ellie thought she’d misheard. ‘What?’
‘She’s a liar. She’s been lying to you for years.’
Ice clinked in a jug. Both girls turned to see Susanna framed in the doorway, a tray in her hands filled with glasses and iced water, her face white.
‘Really, Abby? You’re going to try to claimthat?’ she said.
