“We have to wait and see if he can regain the full use of his lungs,” he continued. “We’ll try taking him off the ventilator again later today, and if that doesn’t work, we’ll adjust it to encourage him to make more effort to breathe, but the machine will still support him.”
“What if he has another arrest?”
Dr. Murray paused. “He’s been in a coma for a long time. We have to think about what’s in his best interests.”
A growing horror took hold of Laura. “You mean, you might not . . . You might just let him die?” she said incredulously.
“Not necessarily. If it’s still your wish, we’ll do our best to resuscitate him.”
“Yes, it is my wish!” said Laura, tears springing.
* * *
When they were left alone, Howard and Laura sat in silence for a moment.
“They’re doing their best,” said Howard.
“Are they?”
He was slightly shocked. “Yes, of course.”
“Oh, Howard, I don’t mean to say they’re negligent or anything, and I know there are some amazing doctors here—Murray’s one of the best, after all—but I just feel we’ve been blindly letting this go on when we should have been keeping an eye on things.” She went to sit beside him and held her hands together in her lap. “We’ve been here before, remember. What if we’d . . .if I’d taken Rose to a hospital the minute she didn’t take her first feeding?”
“Now hold on—”
“I know what you’re going to say, what everyone has always told me, that I did what I could, I wasn’t to blame. But those ‘what-if’ questions don’t just go away. And I promised, Howard, Ipromisedthat I’d always look after him, I’d watch out for him, I’d ask the questions that he wasn’t able to. I’d step up. He was my second chance.”
He rested a hand on hers. “So, what do you suggest?”
“There’s another guy . . . He’s American. I didn’t do anything because I thought we were in safe hands, wearein safe hands, but I want to increase our options. He’s a new appointment at a private hospital in town, one that specializes in neurological conditions. Oh, I can’t bear it, Howard—what if we’re missing something? What if we’ve allowed ourselves to become complacent? I just think we should see him, get him to see Daniel.”
“Won’t that mean moving him?”
“Yes, but there’s everything in that hospital that there is here, and this specialist too. Dr. Bell, his name is. I can make a call and I bet it’s just a question of authorizing Chelsea and Westminster to move him and they’ll take care of the rest.”
“Is it safe to move him? When he’s so ill?”
“We can ask.”
Howard considered what his wife was saying and Laura mistook his silence for reluctance. Her voice cracked.
“If he . . . doesn’t make it, Howard, I don’t think I’ll be able to live with myself knowing I didn’t try everything, to do the absolute best for him. This Dr. Bell might say the same thing, but let’s, at least, get another opinion.”
Howard looked at her. They were two people lost, looking for any sort of rescue. As much of a long shot as it was, it was better than staying marooned on the island. “Let’s go and speak to Dr. Murray.”
They could tell he didn’t think it would make much difference,but he didn’t prevent it, and Daniel was moved to the Wellington Hospital by ambulance two days later.
* * *
Laura was on her way to see Daniel, when she remembered that Cherry was due to visit later that evening, as it was Thursday. She would be wondering what was going on, as it had been a couple of days now since Daniel had left the nursing home. She made a call and spoke to one of the nurses she knew well, but was surprised to hear that Cherry hadn’t been in touch for a while.
“She’s gone away,” said the nurse. “Cancun for two weeks. Did she not say?”
Laura remembered their conversation. “Oh yes, yes, of course. When did she leave?”
“Last Monday, I think.”
Laura was hopeful at her first appointment with Dr. Bell, but his assessment, unfortunately, was much the same. Daniel wasn’t responding to being weaned off the ventilator. Three days after being admitted, he had another cardiac arrest. Laura and Howard were called to the hospital and Dr. Bell gently warned that the situation did not look good.
