I scrambled out of the car. “You’re not allowed to be pissed at me about this. You knew I was with Matt. You knew…”
“I’m allowed to be upset about whatever I want to be upset about.”
“There’s nothing to be upset about. I’m sure you’ve been with plenty of other women and I’m not mad at you.”
“I can be mad that you gave your virginity to some rich prick that was undeserving.”
“I can’t undo what I did. But I’m choosing you now.”
“Are you? Because you refuse to talk about what happened with Matt when you went to New York. What were you doing in California? I was sitting here like an idiot for months waiting for you to show up and I have no idea what you were doing.”
“Missing you.”
He shook his head. “If you really missed me you would have shown up ages ago.”
“Miller…”
“I’m going for a walk. I just need a second to cool off.” He turned and walked away.
God, I really hated when people walked away from me. I leaned down, picked up a wad of snow, and threw it at his back. “No.”
He slowly turned back around. “No?”
“No.” I threw another snowball at him, this one hitting his chest.
“You’re being very immature right now.”
Me?“And you’re being a dick.”
He lowered his eyebrows.
“I’m sorry I had sex with Matt. But he’s the only other person that I’ve been with. And you don’t get to walk away from this conversation.”
He walked back over to me. “I’m not walking away. I’m trying to calm down because you won’t tell me about all the holes in your story.”
“I was trying to figure things out.”
“What happened in New York? Why did you go to California?”
Why was he choosing right this second to talk about this again? I looked away from him. “I didn’t have sex with Matt, if that’s what you’re worried about. He was too busy having sex with someone else.” I felt tears welling in my eyes. I quickly blinked them away. The last thing I needed was to cry over that boy one more time. “I saw what I needed to see and I left. It’s freezing out here. Let’s go inside.”
“You didn’t talk to him?” He caught my hand to stop me.
“No.” I pulled my hand out of his grip and ran up the front steps. Yes, I knew I was the one walking away right now. And fine, I was being immature. But I didn’t want to cry about this in front of Miller. I let myself inside.
Miller closed the door behind me. “Why didn’t you talk to him?”
“He was busy screwing someone new in his pool. It didn’t look like he was in the mood for visitors. And it certainly didn’t look like he was missing me.”Damn it, I was going to cry.Stupid Matthew Caldwell always made me cry. I blinked faster.
“I’m sorry.” Miller grabbed both sides of my face, wiping his thumbs beneath my tear-stained eyes.
“No you’re not.”
“Yes I am. I just want you to be happy. I respected your choice back then. And I did my best to respect it while we were at the beach too. I even told you to have hope because Matt thought you were dead.”
“I know.” I knew that. I didn’t even know why we were fighting right now. None of that mattered. “I would have come right to you, but I went to California because I was hurting. It wasn’t fair to ask you to wait anymore. But I just needed time.”
“Okay. I get that. I just thought…it was driving me crazy not knowing what happened with Matt.”
