I ran my fingers down to the back of his neck. I’d had a lot of time to ponder this. And I wasn’t sure what it said about me. But it was the truth. I was so tired of hiding from the truth. “As soon as I was free…I wished I was back in my cage.”
“Is that what you felt like? That you were in a cage?”
“At the time, yes.”
He pressed his lips together.
I wasn’t sure what I was expecting him to say. I’d basically just told him I’d felt trapped with him. But that wasn’t how I’d meant it. “I guess I needed to leave it to know how much I liked it.”
He raised his eyebrow. “Are you talking about liking me or the beach house?”
“Both I guess. Mostly you.” I smiled up at him even though I was suddenly sad. “I think I just felt guilty being happy there with you. It was like I was torturing myself. Even though I’m pretty sure I had everything I ever wanted right in front of me. Think about how much fun we could have had if I’d just given in to temptation.”
“I still had fun with you, kid.”
I stuck my tongue out at him.
He laughed and lifted me up so that I was sitting on the edge of the counter. He stood between my legs. The height from the counter made us eye level. I felt…balanced. Even. Like I was staring back at my equal. I’d never really felt that way with Matt. He never meant to…but he made me feel lesser. Even once I got my new last name, I still wasn’t good enough for him. But with Miller? I breathed in his exhales as we just stared at each other. I’d never felt such a…rush. I’d been so blind.
I leaned forward and lightly pressed my lips against his.
But he didn’t kiss me back.
He shifted so that his face was a few inches from mine. “We’re still in a cage. Running from your dad makes it hard to have a normal life.”
“Who cares about Little Dicky?”
Miller smiled and then shook his head. “I do if it means you can’t live the life you want.”
“I just told you…I don’t mind being in a cage with you. I picked this place because I knew you’d love it. But I knew I’d love it too. I want this life with you. Winter nights curled up in front of the fire with hot chocolate. Spring nights on the back porch looking out at the lake. Summer nights…”
He pressed his lips back to mine. But the kiss was fleeting again. “Have you heard from him at all?”
“My dad?” I shook my head.
“Me either. It’s weird, right? That he hasn’t tried to find either of us?”
“I had a flawless plan.”
“It was a decent plan. But you used your dad’s money.”
“Yeah. It wasn’t traceable though. The guy online said…”
“And how much did you know about that random guy you found online?”
I shrugged. Not much. But he’d gotten me the passports. He’d gotten Miller this house. He’d made sure to have a bank account set up for Miller… I lost my train of thought when I looked down and saw a hole in the knee of the sweatpants. I thought about how the pantry was barely stocked with any food. And Miller had chastised me for not wearing a jacket, but the one he’d been wearing looked like it was threadbare.
I looked over at the Christmas tree. There were lights but no ornaments. And I had no way of knowing, but I bet he cut it down himself from somewhere in the yard. The Christmas magic in the air made me think everything here was perfect. A perfect Christmas scene that I’d walked right into. But was it?
Miller cleared his throat and tried to step back. “I should probably start making some eggs.
I caught his hand. “Have you not been using the money in your account?”
“I don’t want any of that money, Brooklyn.”
“But…it’s yours.”
He laughed. “No, it’s not mine. If anything it’s yours.” He walked over toward the fridge and opened it.
