I swallowed hard. “No.”
He didn’t respond. He just continued to stare at the fire.
I slid off the couch to sit next to him. I didn’t want to talk about what happened with Matt right now. I just wanted to enjoy being with Miller. And it was Christmas. We could go into more details some other day. “I was in California trying to figure out what I wanted. End of story.”
He looked down at me. “You were gone for months, Brooklyn.”
“I had a lot of stuff to figure out.” I smiled, hoping it would make him smile too.
It did not.
I needed to diffuse the tension in the room. “Come on,” I said and held out my hand to him. “You owe me about a thousand dances.”
That finally made him smile. He grabbed my hand and let me help him up. “A thousand dances, huh? That could take a lifetime.”
“That’s kind of what I’m hoping.”
Runaway - Chapter 30
Thursday
Miller turned up the music as I put the monkey bread in the oven.
“I can’t believe you had all the ingredients.” It was really quite shocking given that Miller’s kitchen wasn’t stocked very well. But I didn’t need a fancy turkey feast for Christmas dinner. I’d always loved breakfast for dinner. And the fact that he had all the ingredients for my favorite Christmas staple… It meant that he’d hoped I’d come. That he was longing for me too. And I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face.
“Of course I had the ingredients. Just in case.” He pulled me in close and dipped me to the music.
I laughed as he pulled me back up. There was a funny song about reindeer blasting through the speakers, but I was glad we were slow dancing. It was like I couldn’t get close enough to him. I was starved for his touch. I wanted to hold him and stare at him and kiss his lips constantly. And this time, I didn’t want to mess anything up. “I want to get this right.”
“What do you meanthis?” He pushed some hair away from his eyes.
“Us.” I reached up and put my fingers through his hair. He used to always keep it shaved close to his skull. But he must have let it grow out over the past several months. It looked good on him. But it also looked like the hair in his eyes annoyed him a bit. “Do you want me to give you a haircut?”
He laughed. “You’re changing the subject again.”
I hadn’t even realized I was doing that. I sighed and put my head on his shoulder as we swayed slowly to the music. “I want to get us right this time. I’m sorry I ever let you walk away.” This wasn’t coming out right. “I mean, I’m sorry I pushed you away. I’m just…sorry.”
“I’m sorry too.”
I pulled back. “What are you sorry for?”
“Asking you to come with me when I knew you needed closure. Not letting you have your space to figure it out. I wasn’t trying to pressure you. It was hard for me. Watching you fall for someone else. Watching you choose someone else. Watching you miss someone else.”
It was hard for me too. Missing Matt. I blinked fast, trying to keep the images of him pushed to the back of my mind where they belonged. I was here with Miller. I was present with him. I was choosing him. “I missed you when I was in California. Desperately.”
He smiled. “I missed you too.” His hands slid to my ass.
I laughed. “You seem to like my butt in these pants.”
He looked down at the baggy sweatpants. “I like you in anything, Brooklyn.”
I pushed my fingers through his hair again. “I like you in anything too. And nothing.”
He smiled down at me.
“If I confess something, do you promise you won’t think I’m weird?”
“Well…how weird is it?”
